Soul Core

[Niickd7235]

This is an original story I wrote. For now I'm going to post the intro. If I get positive feedback I'll post the first chapter, and so on.

[size="3"]Intro: It was 3,500 years ago, that life began to emerge on Vexium. That life was the borgs. Robotic machines with a destructive power. They were given life by the divine power called, Soul Core. It is the force that goes beyond the laws of nature, it’s mysterious and unpredictable. The higher universe, the source of Soul Core was discovered by the borgs. But only one specie was allowed to enter the higher universe, or in their language, heaven. That specie was the humans. The borgs were then filled with a jealousy that tore them apart. The king of the borgs declared that they would whip away the human race, and that by doing this, maybe they would be allowed to enter the higher universe. So for 3,500 years they traveled the universe, till they found it; Earth, home to the humans. The humans were not prepared for what was to come. The borgs entered Earth, destroying everything they came across. The human population was reduced enormously, and now the Earth was inhabited by more borgs than humans. The humans formed a group, the United World Army; this group being an army for humans all around the world. They combined the technology gathered from defeated borgs with their own to create different weapons and devices. Slowly the humans began to take back parts of the Earth that were under borg control. The big cities that were destroyed were rebuilt. They were protected by a strong energy field, impossible for the borgs to penetrate. Still, the humans had no knowledge of Soul Core, given the borgs a big advantage. Only a select few borgs had this godly power, but a few was just enough, to erase the humans from existence.[/size]

[DARKPLANT RISING]

I have a really, really good piece of advice.

It's called not writing an intro.

A good author can "explain" the things that happened before Chapter 1 without really "explain"ing it. Neon Genesis Evangelion doesn't start off with the most detailed description of Second Impact. The Lightning Thief doesn't start off with Percy's father and mother dating. Sprinkle the facts around in ways the reader can interpret easily and consume; then the story's finally ready.

So just post Chapter 1. Try to blend the explanation within the story. Then I'll actually take you seriously.

Oh, and the plot's decent, but a bit orthodox. Add originality.

[Niickd7235]

I'm not trying to jam everything in at once. I want the reader to understand the background of the story before getting into it, because I for one hate reading a book that starts you right in the middle of something without explaining anything. And what do you mean originality? Yeah there's many human vs alien type things, but at least I have my own original reason for the war. There's no such thing as original anymore. All ideas are generated from things our brains have already come across. So thanks for the advice, I'll be posting Chapter 1 shortly.