♥Łövëły-Ċħän♥ Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 [center][center][size=5]Mainly this is to fuel field presence in sync with Divine Wind.[/size] [/center][/center] [center][center][img]http://i52.tinypic.com/6ooggh.jpg[/img] [/center][/center] [center][center] [/center][/center] [center][center][size=3][i]This card can be Advance Summoned by Releasing 1 "Mist Valley" monster. When this card destroys a monster by battle, you can return this card to your hand and draw 1 card. If the card drawn is a "Mist Valley" monster, you can return 1 "Mist Valley" monster you control to your hand and Special Summon the drawn card. [/i][/size] [/center][/center] [center][center] [/center][/center] [center][center]This card is meant to work in sync with [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Divine_Wind_of_Mist_Valley]Divine"]Divine[/url] Wind of Mist Valley. Since neither of the "return" effects are costs, when you return a Mist Valley monster (advisably Thunderbird) you set off Divine Wind and can Summon a WIND monster from the Deck. The second effect is again for field presence and Synchro purposes. This card would work well with Thunderbird and Divine Wind. [/center][/center] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HakuroDK Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 [quote name='♥Łövëły-Ċħän♥' timestamp='1312250133' post='5406266'] [center][center] [/center][/center] [center][center][size=2][i][size=3]This card can be Advance Summoned by Releasing 1 "Mist Valley" monster. When this card destroys a monster by battle, you can return this card to your hand and draw 1 card. If that card is a WIND monster, return 1 card you control to your hand. [/size][/i][/size] [/quote] First, gonna correct some terminology for you as it applies to the TCG, fully aware of the fact that you are using OCG terminology. "This card can be Tribute Summoned by tributing 1 "Mist Valley" monster. When this card destroys a monster as a result of battle, you can return this card from the field to your hand and draw 1 card. If that card is a WIND monster, return 1 card you control to your hand." As for the effect itself, it seems balanced enough. It is very Mist Valley-ish and I can't see anything wrong with it, especially since its alternative summoning requirements is still, in essence, a normal summon. The draw seems fair for returning a monster to the hand and the fact that you would have to return a card you control to your hand if it is a WIND monster (which all Mist Valley monsters are, if I remember correctly) seems okay. Then again, I don't really know too too much about Mist Valley, so I could be way off. The picture used is also quite splendidly done, by the by. Not sure if it's yours or someone else's work, but it looks like it fits into the actual card game, unlike most pics used here. [/center][/center] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♥Łövëły-Ċħän♥ Posted August 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 Thank you for the alternative CG, but I know TCG and OCG, I just prefer mixing the two. And this is ment to work in sync with Divine Wind. Since neither of the "return" effects are costs, when you return a Mist Valley monster (preferably Thunderbird who can Special Summon its self back to the field after) you set off Divine Wind which lets you summon a WIND monster from your hand. Divine is only once per turn though so, as I stated, if you bounce Thunderbird back with this card's last effect to summon the drawn WIND monster, and that drawn card is something like Soldier or Roc, you can Special Summon it for a quick Synchro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ragnarok1945 Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 so the constant returning to your hand I'm curious on how this will work in junction with the other Mist Valley monsters Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Althemia Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 You need to state which is the correct effect, because right now the card and the effect beneath it have 2 different ending effects which could make or break the card. But yeah, something tells me this could break them because loltengu. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♥Łövëły-Ċħän♥ Posted August 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 Effect Below the card. .-. Yea I totally forgot Tengu was WIND ;.; Fuuuuu~~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mehmani Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 [size=4][i]Wording/Grammar = 4/10[/i][/size] [size=4][i]Creativity = 11/20[/i][/size] [size=4][i]Balance = 12/30[/i][/size] [size=4][i]Viability = 35/40[/i][/size] [size=4][i]62% = C[/i][/size] [size=4][i]You achieved a passing mark, albeit a low one. You could do better, but you did reasonably well. You are "on the right track". You have potential. You've just got to think more when making cards. Support should be tailor-made to the archetype, it should be carefully considered. This card feels a tad rushed in many respects. Again, it can all be likely improved with clearer, deeper thinking. On to the review.[/i][/size] [size=4]You receive a low mark in the Wording and Grammar section due to some abysmal mistakes in both correct lingo and clarity. You use Japanese grammar forms - when making a card in the [i]Realistic [/i]section, it should have the features that [i]real[/i] cards have. And being an English forum, your card should use TCG grammar forms. The clarity too leaves a lot to be desired - in the segment [i]"[i]return [b]this card [/b]to your hand and draw 1 card. If [b]that card[/b] is a WIND monster"[/i]. [/i]To some readers (and myself, at first) the bold parts were very confusing. I thought that the [i]"if that card"[/i] was referring to the card itself, and therefore wondered why it questioned the cards clear attribute. But that is a minor issue. However, you were saved from a >2/10 mark by the fact you used a serial number, a correctly written Set ID, the Kazuki copyright clause and bonus marks for a valid Edition format. The effect is the most important factor of the Wording and Grammar section though, so you still receive a bad mark. In terms of creativity - again I accentuate the importance of thinking more when making a support card - I feel that you didn't provide much new. The concept of a draw that can turn into a Special Summon is creative but quite textbook. You respected the traditions of the archetype well but didn't offer anything new. You were, simply put, too cautious. For that you receive a middling mark in the Creativity section. In terms of balance, you overstepped the mark a bit. The shenanigans that this could pull off with Tengu alone are bad enough but in conjunction with Divine Wind, Thunderbird and Shaman make this a ridiculous one-card engine in Mist Valley builds. It could catapult them up a Tier. As much as I admire your courage for posting a very viable card, this is one that is brazenly broken. I understand the Tengu thing was accidental, however that is your fault again for not thinking hard enough when making this card. Possibilities must be considered. For this you receive a bad mark in the Balance section. In terms of Viability, you really went to town. It's broken, but even toned down quite a bit it would still run rampant in Valley builds. I would suggest making the effect only return Mist Valley monsters (kill the Tengu link) and only summon drawn Mist Valley monsters. It would still be extremely good in Mist Valley builds. Partly due to my pity (I was originally going to give you a low D) but also partly due to your good features, I give you an excellent mark in the Viability section.[/size] [size=4]My advice would be to think a lot more about strategies when making support, or to just think more in general when it comes to making cards. I guarantee it will show. [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♥Łövëły-Ċħän♥ Posted August 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 Thank you very much Mikhail. Best comment I've ever had (in terms of detail and clarity). Despite our past issues, I greatly appreciate your comments. Honestly I think its obvious that my issue is lack of indepth thinking in terms of cardmaking. I focused to much on making it a good tech for Mist Valleys, I totally over looked any external resources for this card to function with. On the matter of CG, I'm not really concerned with which I use, I'm happy with both. I prefer the sound of OCG but I most often use TCG, but in case some do not recognize OCG, I'll add a TCG alternative beneath when I use OCG. I thought wording of that effect may cause issues, but I bull headed through anyways. I'll fix that up now to clarify that as well as take your advice on editing the effect to exclusively pair with Mist Valleys. Again thank you very much for your comment and I will indeed follow your advice when next I make a card. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mehmani Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 [quote name='♥Łövëły-Ċħän♥' timestamp='1312333626' post='5409074'] Thank you very much Mikhail. Best comment I've ever had (in terms of detail and clarity). Despite our past issues, I greatly appreciate your comments. Honestly I think its obvious that my issue is lack of indepth thinking in terms of cardmaking. I focused to much on making it a good tech for Mist Valleys, I totally over looked any external resources for this card to function with. On the matter of CG, I'm not really concerned with which I use, I'm happy with both. I prefer the sound of OCG but I most often use TCG, but in case some do not recognize OCG, I'll add a TCG alternative beneath when I use OCG. I thought wording of that effect may cause issues, but I bull headed through anyways. I'll fix that up now to clarify that as well as take your advice on editing the effect to exclusively pair with Mist Valleys. Again thank you very much for your comment and I will indeed follow your advice when next I make a card. [/quote] I am pleasantly surprised to hear your response for once. I'll admit that the OCG issue (in fact, the entire Wording & Grammar section) is probably down to the fact that I'm really anal about details, but I must stress that even with a low mark in the Wording & Grammar section it is still quite possible to achieve an A+. Don't worry about it. I suppose I was only annoyed that you combined both Japanese and English OCG, in future I'll make sure that if you use either one it is still possible to get a high mark. You shouldn't worry at all about the thinking issue - it is a problem that pretty much everyone but the best of the best have a problem with, and if you're a bright spark it is a surprisingly easy issue to address. And I'm sorry if I seemed hard on you - D is a very average mark for me - you actually did quite well. You are a clear bar above most in RC (and you actually got a higher mark for this than Kokonoe did for his new set, so you are definitely doing a lot of things right). And finally, thank you very much for responding so positively and eloquently. One was under the false impression that you disliked one's reviews, so I am glad to know you think otherwise. Warm Regards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon7OP Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 I think it's effect returns too many cards. It has you return two cards to your hand for the [i]possibility [/i]of summoning a Mist Valley monster. The probability of that working sort of overshadows it's usefulness. 'Sides that, it's pretty good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mehmani Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 [quote name='Dragon7OP' timestamp='1312373976' post='5409899'] I think it's effect returns too many cards. It has you return two cards to your hand for the [i]possibility [/i]of summoning a Mist Valley monster. The probability of that working sort of overshadows it's usefulness. 'Sides that, it's pretty good. [/quote] Please, don't comment about archetype support if you don't know how the archetype works. I'll explain. Lovely C.C. says that she intends for this card to work with Divine Wind of Mist Valley - a card that summons a WIND monster from your Deck every time a WIND monster is returned from the field to your hand. If you return Tengu or Thunderbird, you get to summon another Tengu from your Deck or Thunderbird itself. And if Divine Wind is on the field, another WIND monster from your Deck too. Now in future, please actually bother to know what you are talking about before commenting in RC. People like you who don't know what they are talking about are the cancer that is killing RC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animefan #1 Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 Divine Wind Decks needs more cards to add explosive power, great idea! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♥Łövëły-Ċħän♥ Posted August 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 [quote name='Dт. Михаи́л Ботви́нник PчD' timestamp='1312364631' post='5409749'] I am pleasantly surprised to hear your response for once. I'll admit that the OCG issue (in fact, the entire Wording & Grammar section) is probably down to the fact that I'm really anal about details, but I must stress that even with a low mark in the Wording & Grammar section it is still quite possible to achieve an A+. Don't worry about it. I suppose I was only annoyed that you combined both Japanese and English OCG, in future I'll make sure that if you use either one it is still possible to get a high mark. You shouldn't worry at all about the thinking issue - it is a problem that pretty much everyone but the best of the best have a problem with, and if you're a bright spark it is a surprisingly easy issue to address. And I'm sorry if I seemed hard on you - D is a very average mark for me - you actually did quite well. You are a clear bar above most in RC (and you actually got a higher mark for this than Kokonoe did for his new set, so you are definitely doing a lot of things right). And finally, thank you very much for responding so positively and eloquently. One was under the false impression that you disliked one's reviews, so I am glad to know you think otherwise. Warm Regards. [/quote] Thank you~! I do like good comments that are detailed and truthful. I was petty before so, that might have been why I was so snapish. But, I'm not as good at card making as I believed I was in my earlier days, I probably got a big head somewhere along the way and just recently deflated it. I'm more open to the fact that there are people much more knowledgable than I am and that I should listen to them rather than fight them. You were by no means harsh at all in your comment, I enjoyed reading it and learning my mistakes. I appreciate that even though one was under the impression I disliked their reviews, he came to review despite that impression. (: As to Dragon, yes, Mikhail is right. Although I should put the intent behind the card in the main post, to avoid confusion of cards possible uses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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