Therrion Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 [center][center] [/center][/center] [center][center]Pictures made by the great Jazin Kay [/center][/center] [center][center][img]http://img651.imageshack.us/img651/5812/59518g.jpg[/img] [/center][/center] [center][center][spoiler=Lore]When this card is Summoned, you can send 1 Aqua-, Fish-, or Sea Serpent-type monster from your deck to the graveyard. You can banish this face-up card to Special Summon 1 banished Level 3 or lower Aqua-, Fish-, or Sea Serpent-Type monster (excluding this card). Each player can only activate the effect of "Serpent of the East Wind" once per turn.[/spoiler] [/center][/center] [center][center]I changed the effect from what it was last time, and also upped the ATK to 1600. [/center][/center] [center][center][img]http://img200.imageshack.us/img200/9346/59518.jpg[/img] [/center][/center] [center][center][spoiler=Lore]You can Special Summon this card from your hand by banishing 1 Aqua-, Fish-, or Sea Serpent-Type monster in your graveyard. Once per turn, you can pick up cards from the top of your deck until you pick up an Aqua-, Fish-, or Sea Serpent-Type monster and banish that card (return the other cards to the deck) to select 1 card on the field. Until your next Standby Phase, banish this and the selected card.[/spoiler] [/center][/center] [center][center]A card basicly made to reduce threats and also fuel Fish and Kicks, Oh F!sh!, and triggers Wing Tortoise. (I forgot to add the "to select 1 card on the field" after the (return the other cards to the deck) on the actual card, trust the Lore!)[/center][/center] [center][center] [/center][/center] [center][center][img]http://img585.imageshack.us/img585/9346/59518.jpg[/img] [/center][/center] [center][center][spoiler=Lore]You can Special Summon this card from your hand while you have 2 or more banished Aqua-, Fish-, or Sea Serpent-Type monsters in your banished pile. When this card is used as Xyz Material, draw 1 card. While this card is banished, you can use it as Xyz Material. Each player can only use this effect once per duel.[/spoiler] [/center][/center] [center][center]Makes sure you have some type of advantage in your hand, and makes for easy Xyz. [/center][/center] [center][center][img]http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/9346/59518.jpg[/img][/center][/center] [center][center] [/center][/center] [center][center][spoiler=Lore(Edited)]When a face-up Level 3 OR Rank 3 Aqua-, Fish-, or Sea Serpent-Type monster you control battles you can banish this card from your hand; Increase the ATK and DEF of that card by 1200. If this effect targets a Rank 3 with this effect, increase the ATK and DEF of that card by 1500 instead. You cannot activate this effect if a face-up monster you control is already affected by any "Horned Whelpling" effect.[/spoiler][/center][/center] [center][center] [/center][/center] [center][center]Kalut of the deck, fuels Fish and Kicks and Oh F!sh!, making the deck more competitve. (Yes, the changes are permanent.) [/center][/center] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welche the crab Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 You mean Banished Fish support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Therrion Posted August 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 [center][center]Could you rate instead? And there are many names including (BaniShark, Banish Fish, Banned Ocean, RFG Fish, etc.)[/center][/center][center][center]Bumping[/center][/center] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Time Psyduck Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 Quick general comment: You don't need to include the dashes where you're not actually writing the word "Type" as well, and the usual order is "Fish, Sea Serpent and Aqua-Type" Serpent of the East Wind is fine, but I'd still advise the ATK being higher, because it's very useful for setup, so you may want to summon it when you can't use it's effect. Unihorn Beast is interesting - the banish from grave to SS it is nice, as is the ability to remove problems. The only issue I see is banishing from the deck as a cost. Banished Aquatic Stuff doesn't like to blindly banish whatever, so it's kind of unappealing. Maybe if it went to the hand in the next draw phase (as a replacement for drawing) or something to recover it if it wasn't a monster. Levius seems pointless. Sure, being able to Xyz summon with it when banished is nice, but other than that it's just a Sharksucker clone with one difference: It can be used as Synchro Material. Fish decks tend to be synchro based, as do frog ones, and this can be easily summoned synchro material. It needs a "This card cannot be used as a Synchro Material Monster" clause on it, and I'd recommend changing the type to Sea Serpent or Aqua, just to make it more distinct from Sharksucker. Horned Whelpling is nice - the boost itself is underwhelming, as these things don't have that much ATK power, and even with level 4 WATER ones being treated as level 3 because of A Legendary Ocean, the best ATK is 2100 on Warrior of Atlantis. Even the Xyzs are <2000. Compare to Kalut, which gives a 1400 boost to monsters with ATKs of up to 2800, and it's notably lackluster. However, the boost from Whelping is permanent. If intentional it's a very nice take on the whole "Drop to boost ATK" monster theme. If not, consider it anyway, or otherwise perhaps give Rank 3's a bigger boost or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Therrion Posted August 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 [center][center] [/center][/center] [center][center]Thanks for taking the time to comment [/center][/center] [center][center]I will reboost the ATK. [/center][/center] [center][center]I will consider a Dimensional Alchemist like effect on it. Or just remove the random banishing. [/center][/center] [center][center]I will attempt to make Levius more unique then Shark Sucker, and also it totally slipped my brain with the no synchro clause. [/center][/center] [center][center]The boost is permanent and was intentional, should it be 1500ish temporary? [/center][/center][center][center]Okay, edited all but the Horned Whelping[/center][/center] [center][center]Changes Made:[/center][/center] [center][center]Serpent's ATK increased[/center][/center] [center][center]Unihorn's cost mills to banishment only Aqua, Fish, and Sea Serpents.[/center][/center] [center][center]Levius has been TOTALLY redisigned, including ATK being boosted to 1400.[/center][/center] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love of Ghibli Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 I love Serpent of the East Wind. I mean if all else fails you get a foolish burial the switching effect is interesting because at the very least you could recover the treeborn somebody banishes from you and then there are all of the Xyz bonuses that can go with it. Unihorn beast is cool but I have to ask did you mean to write it that you don't shuffle after you return the cards you pick up. Because it sounds like you now know the next X amount of cards in your deck till you get one of those types. Aesthetic wise I don't vibe with the fact that this four legged, ice-dog, with beast in its name is a fish (Brio and Water dragon still get on my nerve with that). I would think you could change it to Aqua and that would be the same without damaging the effect at all. Levius seems abusable which is a good thing even though its a free Xyz if you have the two banished cards. What I'm thinking is that you have two in your hand and then you special summon both Xyz for rainbow serpent and then you draw two so now you have a broken Xyz for free (kinda, if my logic holds). Personally I like that it gives the non-frogs a lot of help. Horned Whelping is great! I like it better than Kalut because it has more targets and is permanent. The one thing that nerfed Rainbow Serpent is that you could run over it with a 1900 beater but with this thing it now becomes a 3000 attack permanently. I puts aqua/sea serpent/fish midgets on steroids and since its level 1 it could be one of those level one xyz or fishborg bait for formula. If I had to give this a ranking it would be 9.5/10 (the beast has some technical flaws to me) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ragnarok1945 Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 for Horned Whelpling what did you mean by Rank 3? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Time Psyduck Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 Cards look good now. For Whelpling, perhaps have it give a slightly better boost to ranked monsters than levelled ones, just to give the Xyzs support as the bosses they're supposed to be. [quote name='Beginning446' timestamp='1312556617' post='5416405'] Unihorn beast is cool but I have to ask did you mean to write it that you don't shuffle after you return the cards you pick up. Because it sounds like you now know the next X amount of cards in your deck till you get one of those types. [/quote] Returning cards to the deck, unless specifically to the top or bottom, means you shuffle them in. Yu-gi-oh cards no longer explicitly say to shuffle your deck after moving cards to or from it. It's only 95% of new card makers, who don't know the ocg, who do that. [quote name='ragnarok1945' timestamp='1312562753' post='5416674'] for Horned Whelpling what did you mean by Rank 3? [/quote] Please tell me you aren't serious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nkschlosser Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 I think that while it was great it had some work to do. What really blew me away was the ART XD. I give the cards a six but the art a nine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Therrion Posted August 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 [center][center] [/center][/center] [center][center] [/center][/center] [center][center] [/center][/center] [center][center]Thanks Beginning [/center][/center] [center][center]As for Unihorn Beast, he was suppose to be a Aqua!!! It doesn't even look fishy >,>[/center][/center] [center][center] [/center][/center] [center][center]@Psyduck, Thanks But if it is a bigger boost for Ranks then they will permanently be to powerful, I am glad that it is a surprise boost and will already imply the intimadation factor (The ones Honest and Kalut provide) to make opponent's not attack it. [/center][/center] [center][center]@nkschlosser You could atleast provide some detail as to why you gave it a 6/10? The art is BAD*** though [/center][/center] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Time Psyduck Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 I was only thinking another 300 or so - because the highest ATK from a level 3 I can come up with is Warrior of Atlantis with A Legendary Ocean out, at 2100. Since this is 300 more than Leviair, I figured giving the Xyzs another 300 would give them the same total, thus meaning the Xyzs will come out on top as they should. If being overpowered is a concern, perhaps make it so only one Whelpling can be used on a monster as long as it's face-up. That way you get a powerful, permanent boost without worrying about ATK values getting ridiculous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Therrion Posted August 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 [center][center] [/center][/center] [center][center] [/center][/center] [center][center] [/center][/center] [center][center]So make it have a clause as such? [/center][/center] [center][center]"Only 1 face-up monster you control can be effected by any "Horned Whelpling" at any one time." [/center][/center] [center][center]As well boost it for the Xyz. Will do, as you proved a valid point.[/center][/center] [center][center] [/center][/center] [center][center]Also, Ragnarok, Rank 3 refers to the "Level" of an Xyz monster. I would love to hear your rating and comments on the cards now that this has been clarified. [/center][/center] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Time Psyduck Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 I was thinking "A monster can only be targeted by the effect of "Horned Whelpling" once whilst it is face-up on the field." You can use them on more than one monster, but only one per monster, so they can't be stacked to result in huge ATK values. If it leaves and comes back, it can be re-boosted, but will have lost the first boost and will be back at it's original ATK value. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Therrion Posted August 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 [center][center]Even with this clause (the one in OP, not the one before I changed it) when it is removed and returned, it will loose the boost, and can be reboosted with another Horned Whelping.[/center][/center] [center][center]Is "whilst" in the card grammer now? I love that word XD[/center][/center] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.