not sure how to phrase this effect

[pfaccioxx]

I made a card for someone's burthday (witch is tomorow so I rely need it fixed it as soon as posable) but I have no idea how to phrase it's effect, this is my best attempt at it:

 

When this card is summoned do not place it on the field until your opponent's next End Phase (however any monsters tributed are done so normally). When this card declares or is chosen as the target of an attack do not calculate the outcome until the next main phase 1. If this card is targeted by a card effect it is not aplyed until the next standby phase.

 

can someone help me fix it without changeing what the efict dos

if you need any explanason of the effict let me know and I'll try to explain

[Guest salseethrough]

'When this card is summoned, banish it. Special Summon it under your control during your opponent's next End Phase. When this card attacks or is attacked, negate the attack (this card cannot be attacked again the turn this effect was used); during the next Main Phase 1, initiate the Damage Step and End Step of a battle negated with this card's effect (this effect is only applied while both monsters are still on the field). If this card is targeted by a card effect, the effect is not applied until the next Standby Phase.'

 

I think that's what you want. I could be wrong. I added the 'cannot be attack again' bit because if it was attacked by 1 monster, its negated, then your opponent can attack with another, and then another, and such and such, which would then make the effect extremely confusing and toooooo.. complicated really. so yeah. i felt that bit was necessary. i also added the bit 'this effect is only applied while both monsters are still on the field'. felt that was necessary, because if both monster of the negated battle weren't there, ppl would ask 'what happens?'. so there's that. i'm pretty sure it still does what you want it to effect-wise. i'm not saying i'm 100% correct, but i feel that's right. and i can understand what it's effect is. get others to agree and you've got your effect.

[pfaccioxx]

'When this card is summoned, banish it. Special Summon it under your control during your opponent's next End Phase. When this card attacks or is attacked, negate the attack (this card cannot be attacked again the turn this effect was used); during the next Main Phase 1, initiate the Damage Step and End Step of a battle negated with this card's effect (this effect is only applied while both monsters are still on the field). If this card is targeted by a card effect, the effect is not applied until the next Standby Phase.'

 

I think that's what you want. I could be wrong. I added the 'cannot be attack again' bit because if it was attacked by 1 monster, its negated, then your opponent can attack with another, and then another, and such and such, which would then make the effect extremely confusing and toooooo.. complicated really. so yeah. i felt that bit was necessary. i also added the bit 'this effect is only applied while both monsters are still on the field'. felt that was necessary, because if both monster of the negated battle weren't there, ppl would ask 'what happens?'. so there's that. i'm pretty sure it still does what you want it to effect-wise. i'm not saying i'm 100% correct, but i feel that's right. and i can understand what it's effect is. get others to agree and you've got your effect.

 

I can live with the 1st chage (this card cannot be attacked again the turn this effect was used), but I'm going to disgared the 2ed change (this effect is only applied while both monsters are still on the field)

what I was thinking wouled hapen in the sicuason were 1 of the monsters was removed from the feald is that the monster that wouled be destoryed (asuming it's still on the feald) and then the aproprite battle damige wouled then take place. if a monster that woud have bin destoryed has bin removed from the feald then it is simply not destoryed (as it's not on the feald anymore) and then the aproprite battle damige wouled then take place

 

at any rate thank you, I'll try to upload the finished card to deviantart (same username) after-tomorow, but I might not be able to acsis tomorow in witch case I'll upload it the next time I'm able to

[Panda29796]

As I mock my sister: I don't get it.....

sorry man, that card makes no sense... if its for a birthday make it lv.1, easy 2 summon, can attack 3 times per turn and have INSANE POWER! (enough to make it banned for 5 centillion years) <--- 303 ZEROES! *GASP!* P.S. If you take this advise please use that messenger option to send me a message... (i'm new so i don't know if that's PMing)

[YugiohPro01]

Umm no offense but why did you post this here? Post in a section where cards are changed and altered not in the Question and Help department. The host of this put LOCK in the title or something because it's both a resolved issue and, I cannot stress this enough, IT DOES NOT BELONG IN THIS SECTION! Sorry for the Caps Lock but geese learn some of the rules I'm not a higher level than any of you but come on use some sense instead of bothering admins or other people by putting these posts here. Again no offense i'm just trying to tell you to put this in another section or if there is no need then lock this post, why bother the admins or higher level members.