Chronicles

[Dyspro]

Hello. Thanks for checking out this story I wrote. Some background information. This story started off as a joke, but I let more people read it and everyone seemed to enjoy it. Having people enjoy the story is more important to me (mainly cause I have bad grammar). So here is my attempt at a fan fic that I am releasing on the internet. The prologue may not seem important right now, but as the story moves on it will I promise. It is just a tone setter. The X is used to signal a change in Point of View. So far the PoVs are Dyspro Gado and Osmium Meitner.

[spoiler=Prologue: Night Fire]"Get that cargo onto the boat!", a man in a black trench coat was yelling at the dock workers.
"Osmium, I do believe that we are dealing with Senic. I can tell by the lame throwback outfit. It also seems as if this cargo is very important to Senic which means it is important to his boss." said Dyspro over his communicator as he edged closer to the corner of the roof. He pulled his binoculars out of his jacket. He began to scan the area one more time to get another head count of the workers. "Well my old friend it looks like we are going to be having a long night."
[center]X[/center]
"Dyspro after working with you for these past two years I have grown accustomed to long nights. Based on what I am seeing here I think it would be best to call this into Chief Mendel, and let the police handel this." Osmium was having to whisper into his communicator so he would not be heard by the guards around his location. He leaned in closer to get a look at his surrondings from inside his crate fort. "Dy I think I have an idea that just might work. I will start firing at Senic and his men while you sneak onto the ship. Once your on the ship you can check out the cargo, and from that point on what happens is up to you. Cover fire will be provided the entire time so have no worries.
[center]X[/center]
Dyspro crawled back away from the roof, and started to scale down the back side of the wall to avoid being seen. His coat was blowing in the wind as a heavy breeze came rolling off the bay. He reached a hidden spot on the pier. Dyspro pulled out his grappling hook, and took aim at one of the rails on the ship. The hook locked onto the railing with a strong enough hold for Dyspro's weight. He makes his way to a door, and follows a staircase to the cargo hold below him. As he is about to round a corner he hears footsteps coming from the other side. He quickly dives into a open room to avoid the crew. "Os be careful another dozen crew are coming your way." Without waiting for a response Dyspro unlatched the door to the cargo cell.

"I am inside, but I cannot make out what the cargo is. I am going to snap a few photos so we can view them later." As Dyspro is taking photos he hears foot steps behind him. He turns around to see a guard standing right behind him. "Oh what a nice surprise a guard inside the room. Senic is known for planning ahead so I must give him my regards at a later time."

The guard slammed a fist into Dyspro's ribs. "To bad you shall not get that later time." The guard brought his knee into Dyspro's midsection.

"Well I will give you a less painful death then what Senic will." Dyspro brought his leg around in a kick to the back of the guards knee. As the guard fell onto one knee Dyspro landed a blow in his chest. Once the guard dropped his head Dyspro dealt the killing blow. He picked his leg straight up in the air, and brought it down onto the guard's fully exposed neck. Snap! The sound of the man's neck breaking sounded in the cargo cell. "Curses. Os I believe it is best you go prepare the car for our departure, but don't take your eyes on the boat. I have a candle for you."

Dyspro took off sprinting out the door. He dived deeper into the ship looking for the fuel tanks. He found them on the bootom level. "Okay lets see it took me...15 mins to get down here, and it will take just as long to get back up. So about 25 minutes will give me some room to work with." Dyspro pulled out a bomb with a timing mechanism installed on it. He placed it between the fuel tanks and set the timer. He took off sprinting to the deck. As Dyspro reached the deck he saw men walking back up the steps. The guards noticed him instantly.

"GET HIM!", he heard one of the men say in a voice that sounded oddly familiar.

"I am sorry to disappoint you Senic, but you shall not be catching me today. Ta Ta. Oh by the way nice idea to place the guard in there." Dyspro slid back down on his hook. Once he safely reached the pier he cut the rope. He had just gotten to the car when the explosions started.

"You are late as usual. Do you realize how much gas I have burned waiting here for you?" Os was sitting in the driver's seat with his usual smile.

"Well at least we are not having as bad of gas problems as Senic and his crew right about now. We must get going I promised Kryp and Lantha I would be home for breakfast on Thursday, and we have a long drive to the airport." Dyspro announced as he laid out in the back seat of the car preparing to fall asleep.[/spoiler]

What I am looking for in judgement is
- On a scale of 1 to 10 did you enjoy it?
- Grammar errors
- Ways to improve