Zazubat Posted November 24, 2012 Report Share Posted November 24, 2012 Inspired by TSoC. [img]http://i1077.photobucket.com/albums/w473/Zaziuma/AngarusLightoftheNexus-3.png[/img] LORE, because it will burn your eyes if you try: 2 level 4 Fairy-Type monsters When this card is Xyz Summoned, while "The Seal of Angarus" is face-up, you can detach 2 Xyz Materials from this card to destroy all other cards on the field, except this card and a face-up "The Seal of Angarus". This card cannot attack directly the turn you activate this effect. Once per turn: You can detach 1 Xyz Material to return "The Seal of Angarus" from the Graveyard to your hand. If the Seal of Angurus" is face-up on the field, During you Main Phase 1: You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card; This card gains 1000 ATK and DEF until the end of the Battle Phase. If"The Seal of Angarus" would be destroyed, you can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card instead. [img]http://i1077.photobucket.com/albums/w473/Zaziuma/TheSealofAngarus-2.png[/img] [img]http://i1077.photobucket.com/albums/w473/Zaziuma/ParissaLightStormerNexus-1.png[/img] [IMG]http://i1077.photobucket.com/albums/w473/Zaziuma/RecorveryEnergy-2.png[/IMG] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zazubat Posted November 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2012 bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Purple Posted November 25, 2012 Report Share Posted November 25, 2012 Okay so i'll talk about the Spell "The Seal of Angarus" first Okay so it's a Field Spell Card that has the following +'s + Upon Summon, "Any" monster cannot be destroyed by Card Effects / Battle and they also gain 500 ATK/DEF on summon. + If it would be destroyed, you can return it to the bottom of the deck TBH, I wouldn't want to be the one to fix it, mainly because I wouldn't know what to suggest other than maybe you should put a limit on it. Some monsters are already hard enough to get off the field while they are already up, and adding this just further limits the cards you can use to get rid of them before it becomes a problem (Bottomless Trap Hole, Torrential Tribute, etc) although I believe you can still solemn the monsters because they aren't "technically" considered to be on the field / summoned. Also, was this supposed to be a General Field Spell that affects both player's? Just wondering on that one Now for Angarus Okay, his first effect activates on summon (the way it's worded, it sounds mandatory). This is the way i'm reading it with correct OCG (up for correcting) I'm going to break down the effect for discussion - [b]When this card is Xyz Summoned, Detach 2 Xyz Materials from this card; Destroy all other cards on the field. [/b] In that case, how would you activate the other effects? - [b]This card cannot attack directly the turn it is Xyz Summoned[/b] If this is what you meant, then the way I typed it is what it should be - [b]You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card to return 1 "The Seal of Angarus" from your Graveyard to your hand.[/b] Since this effect does not have a once per turn effect, you can basically detach 2 and return 2 "TSoA" in the same turn[b].[/b] Although that effect doesn't seem so bad (don't see what could be wrong with it other than the fact the field spell gets alot of +'s for monsters on their Summon) - [b]If "The Seal of Angarus" is on the field, this card gains 1000 ATK and DEF during either player's Battle Phase.[/b] So if you are able to get this guy out while this card is one the field and your opponent has no backrow, you can basically be immune to battle, card effects, gain 500 ATK/DEF for the turn and on top of that, you gain an extra +1000 ATK/DEF while the field is up when you "Battle". This means you also get to deal an extra 1000 damage on top of your 2000 ATK even when attacking directly. Just something I noticed. - [b]If "The Seal of Anargus" would be destroyed, you can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card instead.[/b] That seems fine I guess. I assume he's supposed to work with the field if that the case (took me this long to realize it? herp derp ) Other than that, they seem like cool cards, and if they were just fixed up a bit to make them seem like they were a it less "overwhelming", then I would like them a bit more. Cool pics BTW, I like Angarus' Picture EDIT: P.S - Just a reminder, I read the effect the way I thought it was worded, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong on anything I put up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zazubat Posted November 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2012 [quote name='MachinaGayhem' timestamp='1353868720' post='6077668'] Okay so i'll talk about the Spell "The Seal of Angarus" first Okay so it's a Field Spell Card that has the following +'s + Upon Summon, "Any" monster cannot be destroyed by Card Effects / Battle and they also gain 500 ATK/DEF on summon. + If it would be destroyed, you can return it to the bottom of the deck TBH, I wouldn't want to be the one to fix it, mainly because I wouldn't know what to suggest other than maybe you should put a limit on it. Some monsters are already hard enough to get off the field while they are already up, and adding this just further limits the cards you can use to get rid of them before it becomes a problem (Bottomless Trap Hole, Torrential Tribute, etc) although I believe you can still solemn the monsters because they aren't "technically" considered to be on the field / summoned. Also, was this supposed to be a General Field Spell that affects both player's? Just wondering on that one [b](all Filelds effect both players, I made it that way so it wouldn't be so overpowered, but I can see what you mean so I might change it a bit, and yes Solemn Judgement etc. would still work.)[/b] Now for Angarus Okay, his first effect activates on summon (the way it's worded, it sounds mandatory). This is the way i'm reading it with correct OCG (up for correcting) I'm going to break down the effect for discussion - [b]When this card is Xyz Summoned, Detach 2 Xyz Materials from this card; Destroy all other cards on the field. [/b] In that case, how would you activate the other effects? [b](It's not mandatory, sincei it says "by", but I will change it so you can understand better.)[/b] - [b]This card cannot attack directly the turn it is Xyz Summoned[/b] If this is what you meant, then the way I typed it is what it should be [b](I meant that it can't attack the turn it detaches both, I'll fix that too.)[/b] - [b]You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card to return 1 "The Seal of Angarus" from your Graveyard to your hand.[/b] Since this effect does not have a once per turn effect, you can basically detach 2 and return 2 "TSoA" in the same turn[b].[/b] Although that effect doesn't seem so bad (don't see what could be wrong with it other than the fact the field spell gets alot of +'s for monsters on their Summon) - [b]If "The Seal of Angarus" is on the field, this card gains 1000 ATK and DEF during either player's Battle Phase.[/b] So if you are able to get this guy out while this card is one the field and your opponent has no backrow, you can basically be immune to battle, card effects, gain 500 ATK/DEF for the turn and on top of that, you gain an extra +1000 ATK/DEF while the field is up when you "Battle". This means you also get to deal an extra 1000 damage on top of your 2000 ATK even when attacking directly. Just something I noticed. [b](Okay, that's a little bit OP I see, I'll change it to be something different.)[/b] - [b]If "The Seal of Anargus" would be destroyed, you can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card instead.[/b] That seems fine I guess. I assume he's supposed to work with the field if that the case (took me this long to realize it? herp derp ) (Not sure what you mean, of course he is, the name of the spell is named after him as with The Seal of Orichalcos). Other than that, they seem like cool cards, and if they were just fixed up a bit to make them seem like they were a it less "overwhelming", then I would like them a bit more. Cool pics BTW, I like Angarus' Picture EDIT: P.S - Just a reminder, I read the effect the way I thought it was worded, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong on anything I put up [/quote] I made comments in the qoute, check them out. I will have an updated version of the cards later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Purple Posted November 25, 2012 Report Share Posted November 25, 2012 [quote name='Zaziuma' timestamp='1353870078' post='6077696'] I made comments in the qoute, check them out. I will have an updated version of the cards later. [/quote] When i was talking about the Preventing Field Spell Destruction with "Angarus' effect" I was just making a joke. Only because I didn't know what to say at that point Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zazubat Posted November 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2012 Oh okay, I made some updates, so there's that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Purple Posted November 25, 2012 Report Share Posted November 25, 2012 If you don't mind me throwing in some OCG fixes. They are listed in the spoiler. Disregard this spoiler if you don't want them (mainly because I offer it, but don't mind if you don't accept it ) The fixed parts of the effect are in Bold [color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)][spoiler= OCG Fixes and Explanations on "Angarus, Light of the Nexus"] [/background][/size][/font][/color] [i][color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)]2 level 4 Fairy-[b]T[/b]ype monsters[/background][/size][/font][/color] [color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)]When this card is [b]Xyz[/b] [b]S[/b]ummone[b]d[/b], while "The Seal of Ang[b]a[/b]rus" is face-up on the field, you can detach 2 Xyz Materials [b]from this card [/b]to destroy all other cards [b]on the field, except this card [/b]and [b]a face-up[/b] "The Seal of Ang[b]a[/b]rus".[/background][/size][/font][/color][/i] in order of Bolded Text 1. The "T" in "type" should be capitalized (Minor Fix). 2. The only reason I put "Xyz Summon" is because you don't get Xyz Materials when you Special Summon from the Graveyard. It just makes more sense that way. 3. There was a "u" in "Angarus' Name in the effect (Minor Fix) 4. I put "from this card" because then it would seem that you could detach the materials from "any Xyz monster" although it's not worded / intended for that reason. It specifies that you can only detach from "Angarus" and not anything else (probably knew that already though, but just adding that) 5. "all other cards on the field" is really all you need when referring to 1 monster. But since it's more than 1 card, I fixed it like that so that it's easier to understand by other and still gets the point across without too much wording. (Also added face-up "TSoA" because I think that's how it's written out even if the effect activates while the field is up. [i][color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)]This card cannot attack directly the turn you activate this effect. [b]Once per turn: [/b]You can detach 1 Xyz Material [b]from this card[/b] to [/background][/size][/font][/color][url="http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/293354-the-seal-of-angarus-angarus-light-of-the-nexus/page__pid__6077702#"]return[/url][color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)] "The Seal of Angarus" from the Graveyard to your hand. If "[b]The[/b] Seal of Angarus" is [b]face-up[/b] on the field, [b]During your Main Phase 1: You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card; This card gains 1000 ATK and DEF until the end of the Battle Phase.[/b] If "The Seal of Angarus" would be destroyed, you can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card instead.[/background][/size][/font][/color][/i] [color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)]In order of Bolded text[/background][/size][/font][/color] [color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)]6. I added "Once per turn:" to the effect because I assume you would want the other material on the card to be used while the field is up so you have a way to get the ATK/DEF boost or prevent the destruction of it. (then again this is just a suggestion and it can be ignored as such)[/background][/size][/font][/color] [color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)]7. (see "Reason 4" above)[/background][/size][/font][/color] [color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)]8. The "The" in "TSoA" was outside the card's name (Minor Fix)[/background][/size][/font][/color] [color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)]9. added the "face-up" part because I think it should be there (Correct me if i'm wrong)[/background][/size][/font][/color] 10. "[i][color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)][b]During your Main Phase 1:" [/b][/background][/size][/font][/color][/i][color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)]was added to clarify when you could use the effect and make it easier to understand/write out the rest of the effect[/background][/size][/font][/color] [color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)] "[/background][/size][/font][/color][i][color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)][b]You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card; This card gains 1000 ATK and DEF until the end of the Battle Phase." [/b][/background][/size][/font][/color][/i][color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)]was added to make it easier to understand/write out [/background][/size][/font][/color] [font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][color=#5a5a5a][size=3][/spoiler][/size][/color][/font] [color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3]Other than the reasons for OCG fixes, I see that the card was limited in a way and doesn't seem as OP'd as it was before. [/size][/font][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zazubat Posted November 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2012 [quote name='MachinaGayhem' timestamp='1353873136' post='6077764'] If you don't mind me throwing in some OCG fixes. They are listed in the spoiler. Disregard this spoiler if you don't want them (mainly because I offer it, but don't mind if you don't accept it ) The fixed parts of the effect are in Bold [color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)][spoiler= OCG Fixes and Explanations on "Angarus, Light of the Nexus"] [/background][/size][/font][/color] [i][color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)]2 level 4 Fairy-[b]T[/b]ype monsters[/background][/size][/font][/color] [color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)]When this card is [b]Xyz[/b] [b]S[/b]ummone[b]d[/b], while "The Seal of Ang[b]a[/b]rus" is face-up on the field, you can detach 2 Xyz Materials [b]from this card [/b]to destroy all other cards [b]on the field, except this card [/b]and [b]a face-up[/b] "The Seal of Ang[b]a[/b]rus".[/background][/size][/font][/color][/i] in order of Bolded Text 1. The "T" in "type" should be capitalized (Minor Fix). [b](quick fixing, always mess things up like that :/)[/b] 2. The only reason I put "Xyz Summon" is because you don't get Xyz Materials when you Special Summon from the Graveyard. It just makes more sense that way.[b] (Can kind of see it, but since it says "can" that mostly replies to a optional Trigger effect. I can see your reason, but if the card was somehow summon from the grave with Xyz Materials (don't know if there's any card that can do that with 2, I know there's one that can with 1) you would still be able to use it, so I'll keep it as it is.)[/b] 3. There was a "u" in "Angarus' Name in the effect (Minor Fix) [b](Oh yeah, I like acually like Angurus better, but I don't feel like changing all of it just to add that )[/b] 4. I put "from this card" because then it would seem that you could detach the materials from "any Xyz monster" although it's not worded / intended for that reason. It specifies that you can only detach from "Angarus" and not anything else (probably knew that already though, but just adding that) [b](My fault, should have seen this, of course it's only this card)[/b] 5. "all other cards on the field" is really all you need when referring to 1 monster. But since it's more than 1 card, I fixed it like that so that it's easier to understand by other and still gets the point across without too much wording. (Also added face-up "TSoA" because I think that's how it's written out even if the effect activates while the field is up. [b](Yeah, it soundly weird to me too, didn't really know how to word it, but yours sounds better, so I'll be using that)[/b] [i][color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)]This card cannot attack directly the turn you activate this effect. [b]Once per turn: [/b]You can detach 1 Xyz Material [b]from this card[/b] to [/background][/size][/font][/color][url="http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/293354-the-seal-of-angarus-angarus-light-of-the-nexus/page__pid__6077702#"]return[/url][color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)] "The Seal of Angarus" from the Graveyard to your hand. If "[b]The[/b] Seal of Angarus" is [b]face-up[/b] on the field, [b]During you Main Phase 1: You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card; This card gains 1000 ATK and DEF until the end of the Battle Phase.[/b] If "The Seal of Angarus" would be destroyed, you can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card instead.[/background][/size][/font][/color][/i] [color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)]In order of Bolded text[/background][/size][/font][/color] [color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)]6. I added "Once per turn:" to the effect because I assume you would want the other material on the card to be used while the field is up so you have a way to get the ATK/DEF boost or prevent the destruction of it. (then again this is just a suggestion and it can be ignored as such)[/background][/size][/font][/color] [b](Yeah, sometimes I forget to add once per turn, and sometimes I intend it, this time I forgot )[/b] [color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)]7. (see "Reason 4" above)[/background][/size][/font][/color] [b](nothing to say here)[/b] [color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)]8. The "The" in "TSoA" was outside the card's name (Minor Fix)[/background][/size][/font][/color] [b](nothing to say here)[/b] [color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)]9. added the "face-up" part because I think it should be there (Correct me if i'm wrong)[/background][/size][/font][/color] [b](I don't think you need it, as long as it said "on the field" but to make it more clear, I'll add that)[/b] 10. "[i][color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)][b]During your Main Phase 1:" [/b][/background][/size][/font][/color][/i][color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)]was added to clarify when you could use the effect and make it easier to understand/write out the rest of the effect[/background][/size][/font][/color] [color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)] "[/background][/size][/font][/color][i][color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)][b]You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card; This card gains 1000 ATK and DEF until the end of the Battle Phase." [/b][/background][/size][/font][/color][/i][color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)]was added to make it easier to understand/write out [/background][/size][/font][/color][b](I didn't mean it to only be MP1, but I can add that if you want, not that there's any reason since ATK/DEF is pretty useless in MP2 anyways, you find a use for it, but I can see what you mean by it being pretty confusion. Also, you don't capitalize after a semicolon! Havn't you gone to school! Kidding, your grammar is probably better than mine, I even had to look up if it was probably or properly )[/b] [font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][color=#5a5a5a][size=3][/spoiler][/size][/color][/font] [color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3]Other than the reasons for OCG fixes, I see that the card was limited in a way and doesn't seem as OP'd as it was before. [/size][/font][/color] [/quote]Again, it's in the qoutes. I also changed TSoA if you want to look at that a little bit. I will have the new card up in a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Purple Posted November 25, 2012 Report Share Posted November 25, 2012 [quote name='Zaziuma' timestamp='1353874813' post='6077798'] Again, it's in the qoutes. I also changed TSoA if you want to look at that a little bit. I will have the new card up in a bit. [/quote] Answer to OCG reasoning #10 Lol, sure you might not in rl, but on most cards I've seen, it's usually Capitalized after a semi-colon is placed. (I'm pretty sure it happens on "Conditional Effects / Once per turn: / etc ) Also I only put Main Phase 1 because i assumed this effect could only be activated during your turn only and I didn't know how to word the effect any other way (maybe because I didn't want to change anything you had currently). Also it's all up to you whether you want to add it or not, after all, they are your cards anyway . As for "TSoA" i also included some OCG changes if you would like to see them. [spoiler= OCG Fixes and Explanations for "The Seal of Angarus"] [i]All face-up monsters [b]on the field [/b]cannot be destroyed by battle [b]and gain 500 ATK and DEF[/b] [b]during the turn they are Summoned. [/b]When a monster[b] is Summoned while this card is face-up on the field: You can pay 500 Life points; That monster [/b]cannot be destroyed by card effects until the End Phase. When this card is destroyed, [b]you can return it to the bottom of your deck instead of sending it to the Graveyard.[/b][/i] In order of Bolded Text 1. On the field was added to specify that this card affects monsters on the field only (pretty self-explanatory as to why it was added I guess.) 2. I believe this makes the card text shorter and still gets to the point on what it gets on it's Summon. Also "Summon" should always be capitalized even if it's just by it self or for an ex. (When this card is Summoned...) 3. Easier to understand this way, also same reasoning for "summon" (see number 2). The part where it explains the cost of paying is placed in the effect much better and also makes much more sense. it also Specifies the monster the effect is being used on. 4. The last part of the effect wasn't wrong at all, just rearranged the way it should look as all [/spoiler] As for this one, it is the same reason as "Angarus" it's been limited more so that it's not as OP'd as it was before Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zazubat Posted November 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2012 [quote name='MachinaGayhem' timestamp='1353877499' post='6077837'] Answer to OCG reasoning #10 Lol, sure you might not in rl, but on most cards I've seen, it's usually Capitalized after a semi-colon is placed. (I'm pretty sure it happens on "Conditional Effects / Once per turn: / etc ) Also I only put Main Phase 1 because i assumed this effect could only be activated during your turn only and I didn't know how to word the effect any other way (maybe because I didn't want to change anything you had currently). Also it's all up to you whether you want to add it or not, after all, they are your cards anyway . As for "TSoA" i also included some OCG changes if you would like to see them. [spoiler= OCG Fixes and Explanations for "The Seal of Angarus"] [i]All face-up monsters [b]on the field [/b]cannot be destroyed by battle [b]and gain 500 ATK and DEF[/b] [b]during the turn they are Summoned. [/b]When a monster[b] is Summoned while this card is face-up on the field: You can pay 500 Life points; That monster [/b]cannot be destroyed by card effects until the End Phase. When this card is destroyed, [b]you can return it to the bottom of your deck instead of sending it to the Graveyard.[/b][/i] In order of Bolded Text 1. On the field was added to specify that this card affects monsters on the field only (pretty self-explanatory as to why it was added I guess.) [b](I guess so)[/b] 2. I believe this makes the card text shorter and still gets to the point on what it gets on it's Summon. Also "Summon" should always be capitalized even if it's just by it self or for an ex. (When this card is Summoned...) [b](I thought it was only for Normal, Special etc. but I will remember that for next time.)[/b] 3. Easier to understand this way, also same reasoning for "summon" (see number 2). The part where it explains the cost of paying is placed in the effect much better and also makes much more sense. it also Specifies the monster the effect is being used on. [b](right, makes more sense, though I don't see the need for the colon, you can choose either a comma or a colon it doesn't matter. From what I have seen on real cards, they change it up a lot)[/b] 4. The last part of the effect wasn't wrong at all, just rearranged the way it should look as all [b](eh, I like it the way it is, I don't feel like changing it)[/b] [/spoiler] As for this one, it is the same reason as "Angarus" it's been limited more so that it's not as OP'd as it was before [/quote]Well well, look at this: [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Temtempo_the_Percussion_Djinn"]http://yugioh.wikia....ercussion_Djinn[/url] That doesn't have a capitalized letter after the semicolon Again, in the qoute, but nothing really useful for you to read. I also added a new card, though I think it's too powerful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Purple Posted November 25, 2012 Report Share Posted November 25, 2012 [quote name='Zaziuma' timestamp='1353882642' post='6077901'] Well well, look at this: [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Temtempo_the_Percussion_Djinn"]http://yugioh.wikia....ercussion_Djinn[/url] That doesn't have a capitalized letter after the semicolon Again, in the qoute, but nothing really useful for you to read. [/quote] Well i read it anyway Maybe it's just cause it's an older card that that's the reason why it doesn't have it. (up for debate). Also the I put the ; in the cost because the ; is what is at the end of an effect that includes a cost (ex. Raigeki Break) Off Topic: My friend made me hate Djinn so hard (Relinquished) lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zazubat Posted November 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2012 [quote name='MachinaGayhem' timestamp='1353884450' post='6077928'] Well i read it anyway Maybe it's just cause it's an older card that that's the reason why it doesn't have it. (up for debate). Also the I put the ; in the cost because the ; is what is at the end of an effect that includes a cost (ex. Raigeki Break) Off Topic: My friend made me hate Djinn so hard (Relinquished) lol [/quote]here's a card from the most recent (according to the Wikia) booster pack realeased overseas. http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Bull_Blader It should be right, but anyways, I am not a pro in OCG, so those colon things were just from my memory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Purple Posted November 25, 2012 Report Share Posted November 25, 2012 [quote name='Zaziuma' timestamp='1353884997' post='6077937'] here's a card from the most recent (according to the Wikia) booster pack realeased overseas. [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Bull_Blader"]http://yugioh.wikia....iki/Bull_Blader[/url] It should be right, but anyways, I am not a pro in OCG, so those colon things were just from my memory. [/quote] If I'm correct, I'm sure that i heard somewhere that... Colons ( are used to explain conditions / conditions that must be met before something happens (ex. Madolche Mageliene (i think that's how you spell it)) and Semi-Colons ( are used at the end of an effect that includes a cost (ex. Previous Example (Rageki Break)) so if anything I follow that rule whenever I make cards (although sometimes there are commas used, I believe that's only used for certain effects that don't include conditions and are just "stand alone" effects. or I just look up similar cards with the OCG that i needed referencing to. OT: I see the new card, It looks good, but you can probably guess I'm gonna put my input on it anyway lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zazubat Posted November 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2012 It seems that on old cards, instead of colons, commas were used, I just checked the [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Trigger_Effect"]Trigger[/url] page, and [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Zaborg_the_Thunder_Monarch"]Zaborg's[/url] old card had a commma where the new had a colon, so I guess you are right. Glad you care to put your input here, otherwise I would have gone aroudn thinking that X-type was correct (x being the monster type) so thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Purple Posted November 26, 2012 Report Share Posted November 26, 2012 [quote name='Zaziuma' timestamp='1353886282' post='6077953'] It seems that on old cards, instead of colons, commas were used, I just checked the [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Trigger_Effect"]Trigger[/url] page, and [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Zaborg_the_Thunder_Monarch"]Zaborg's[/url] old card had a comma where the new had a colon, so I guess you are right. Glad you care to put your input here, otherwise I would have gone aroudn thinking that X-type was correct (x being the monster type) so thank you [/quote] I kinda do this on most things I comment on. I do it for the sole purpose of ensuring the OP that I actually took the time to look at the stuff that what posted and hey, it never hurts to put your input for the OP either OT: Parissa, Light Stormer Nexus: Okay lets see this one (OCG Fixes listed below, if you are willing to check em out) [spoiler= OCG Fixes and Explanations for "Parissa, Light Stormer Nexus"] [i][b]This card cannot be Special Summoned from the Graveyard. [/b]When this card is Summoned[b]: You can [/b]target 1 Field Spell Card in [b]your[/b] Graveyard; [b]R[/b]eturn that card to your hand. [b]When [/b]this card leaves the field: [b]You can[/b] destroy 1 Field Spell Card from [b]either side of[/b] the field; [b]Return this card to your hand instead of sending it to the Graveyard.[/b][/i] You know the drill 1. I put the last line of the card on the top because I think you have to do it that way. I think i've seen some cards that do it this way but correct me if i'm wrong. (It's written out fine the way you had it, I just moved it to the top is all) 2. I added the "You can" part on the card because I (honestly) wasn't sure whether or not it was mandatory to use the effect or not. Also i put "your Graveyard" because the way it's written now sounds like "either Graveyard" (probably not intended) 3. Capitalized the "R" in return because when you add a new sentence after a colon or semi-colon (in OCG terms), you capitalize the first letter in the next sentence (Minor Fix) 4. This one I was unsure of because i'm not to sure how "when" and "if" effects work in technical terms to say the least, but when I see the effect, it feels like "when" would be more appropriate (not to sure though, you can ignore this one if you want) 5. See reason 2. I put "either side of" to ensure that if a field spell card would be up on the field, that you can activate it's effect. (although it might seems a bit broken / risky because "Geartown" exists, but then again i added "you can to make it optional" so it might be more balanced out for both players. 6. I guess this one is self explanatory. [/spoiler] OH BOY, would I love to use this in Ancient Gears i'll tell you that. It's a Recyclable Field Spell Recycler and it doesn't just work with "TSoA", it can work with "Geartown" and anything else you might have that involves field spell cards. Although i think it's a bit strong considering how broken it might make certain takes that use field spells, My only suggestion is that you make it weaker and that you add the following effect at the bottom of the card. "The effect of "Parissa, Light Stormer Nexus" can only be activated once per turn. This way, it's not as abusable as it might be (just taking precautions though so i'm not sure it would really hit it that hard) Well, hell I think it's great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zazubat Posted November 26, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 26, 2012 [quote name='MachinaGayhem' timestamp='1353888380' post='6077980'] I kinda do this on most things I comment on. I do it for the sole purpose of ensuring the OP that I actually took the time to look at the stuff that what posted and hey, it never hurts to put your input for the OP either OT: Parissa, Light Stormer Nexus: Okay lets see this one (OCG Fixes listed below, if you are willing to check em out) [spoiler= OCG Fixes and Explanations for "Parissa, Light Stormer Nexus"] [i][b]This card cannot be Special Summoned from the Graveyard. [/b]When this card is Summoned[b]: You can [/b]target 1 Field Spell Card in [b]your[/b] Graveyard; [b]R[/b]eturn that card to your hand. [b]When [/b]this card leaves the field: [b]You can[/b] destroy 1 Field Spell Card from [b]either side of[/b] the field; [b]Return this card to your hand instead of sending it to the Graveyard.[/b][/i] You know the drill 1. I put the last line of the card on the top because I think you have to do it that way. I think i've seen some cards that do it this way but correct me if i'm wrong. [b](It's written out fine the way you had it, I just moved it to the top is all) (I don't really know if it should be that way or not, typicly mandatory effects should be first, and those are usaully at the top. I'll fix that)[/b] 2. I added the "You can" part on the card because I (honestly) wasn't sure whether or not it was mandatory to use the effect or not. Also i put "your Graveyard" because the way it's written now sounds like "either Graveyard" (probably not intended) [b](This is something that has bugged me for a while, because I sometimes see "the Graveyard" when refering to your own, so I started using that. I also see "your Graveyard" sometimes, so I don't know which is right. But when refering to the other players or both, it's "your opponent's" or "either players" typicly. Though it seems that when referring to either player's Graveyard with an effect that targets both, but only 1 at that time, [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Unification"]Unification[/url], it says "the Graveyard". Here's again from the newest overseas booster pack, [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Snow_Dragon"]Snow Dragon[/url], refers to "the Graveyard", so I don't know which is right)[/b] 3. Capitalized the "R" in return because when you add a new sentence after a colon or semi-colon (in OCG terms), you capitalize the first letter in the next sentence (Minor Fix) [b](We have been over this, it's not true, as seen with [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Bull_Blader"]Bull Blader[/url])[/b] 4. This one I was unsure of because i'm not to sure how "when" and "if" effects work in technical terms to say the least, but when I see the effect, it feels like "when" would be more appropriate [b](not to sure though, you can ignore this one if you want) (You must have misread, it already says when xD)[/b] 5. See reason 2. I put "either side of" to ensure that if a field spell card would be up on the field, that you can activate it's effect. (although it might seems a bit broken / risky because "Geartown" exists, but then again i added "you can to make it optional" so it might be more balanced out for both players. [b](fixed)[/b] 6. I guess this one is self explanatory. [b](yup fixed)[/b] [/spoiler] OH BOY, would I love to use this in Ancient Gears i'll tell you that. It's a Recyclable Field Spell Recycler and it doesn't just work with "TSoA", it can work with "Geartown" and anything else you might have that involves field spell cards. Although i think it's a bit strong considering how broken it might make certain takes that use field spells, My only suggestion is that you make it weaker and that you add the following effect at the bottom of the card. "The effect of "Parissa, Light Stormer Nexus" can only be activated once per turn. [b](added this in)[/b] This way, it's not as abusable as it might be (just taking precautions though so i'm not sure it would really hit it that hard) Well, hell I think it's great. [/quote] Check the qoute again. I'll have a newer version up in a bit. EDIT: New version is up, also new card. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Purple Posted November 26, 2012 Report Share Posted November 26, 2012 [quote name='Zaziuma' timestamp='1353928870' post='6078280'] Check the qoute again. I'll have a newer version up in a bit. EDIT: New version is up, also new card. [/quote] [spoiler= Reply to Parissa OCG Fix] #2. Trust me the way I wrote it is right. Cards that say "sent to the Graveyard", only refer to the "Graveyard" as "the Graveyard" when they are being sent there from the field (then again feel free to check if I'm wrong). cards like snow dragon say "the graveyard" because it will go to there if its gets off the field (you can control it if it was your opponent's it will go to their graveyard). But when it comes to taking something from a Graveyard, you must reference which player's graveyard it affects (if not both player's) ex. [b]Monster Reincarnation[/b] - Your Graveyard, [b]Monster Reborn[/b] - Either Player's Graveyard, etc (lots of graveyard in the comment) #3. Man Bull Blader is cramping my style lately lol. Although I'd say it's debatable whether or not that is true (or not). I'll just take your word for it because i'm not gonna waste alot of hours looking at colons or semi-colons all day EDIT: you might be right with that semi-colon though (Newest Raigeki Break OCG has no cap after ; as well ) #4. I was pretty sure i saw "if" i mean it must have been there or else I wouldn't have written a whole paragraph on it lol (but if you say there wasn't one, then i'll agree, it's your card after all) [/spoiler] Onto the newest card [spoiler=`That moment when this never ends` :) OCG "Suggestions" for "Recovery Energy"] [i]You can only control 1 [b]face-up[/b] "Recovery Energy" at a time. Once per turn[b], d[/b]uring your Main Phase 1: You can p[b]lace[/b] 1 Recovery [b]Counter[/b] on this card. You can send this [b]face-up [/b]card to the Graveyard to target 1 monster in [b]either player's[/b] Graveyard with [b]a[/b] level equal to the [b]number[/b] of Recovery [b]Counters[/b] on this card; return that card to the hand.[/i] 1. I added "face-up" because i'm pretty sure there wouldn't be a rule tat says you can't control 3 set "Recovery Energy" cards 2. This one of those moments where there are multiple conditions. The comma is added instead of another colon because it's a condition within a conditon (condition-ception). See "The Grand Spellbook Tower" to see what I mean. 3. You "place" counters on cards (Royal Magical Library). Also token are not things you put on cards. It does happen sometimes with other people's cards, but Counters is what you want to put. Also, you don't need the quotations either saving that card text space lol 4. same reason as #1 but with the exception of saying "face-up" if you control a "Set" version of the card at the same time. You'd want to specify that (I believe) 5. If you haven't read the reasoning for "the Graveyard" in the Reply to "Parissa", then your answer is up there 6. missing "a". Number is what you want (pretty sure) instead of amount. 7. Read #3 [/spoiler] Other than that, The card seems okay. Good way to recycle some lower level monsters back to the hand if need be. Although it might be a little slow if you wanted much higher level monsters. Maybe there will be a card in the future that lets you utilize Recovery Counters really well, but then again that's all up to you isn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zazubat Posted November 26, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 26, 2012 [quote name='MachinaGayhem' timestamp='1353957293' post='6078456'] [spoiler= Reply to Parissa OCG Fix] #2. Trust me the way I wrote it is right. Cards that say "sent to the Graveyard", only refer to the "Graveyard" as "the Graveyard" when they are being sent there from the field (then again feel free to check if I'm wrong). cards like snow dragon say "the graveyard" because it will go to there if its gets off the field (you can control it if it was your opponent's it will go to their graveyard). But when it comes to taking something from a Graveyard, you must reference which player's graveyard it affects (if not both player's) ex. [b]Monster Reincarnation[/b] - Your Graveyard, [b]Monster Reborn[/b] - Either Player's Graveyard, etc (lots of graveyard in the comment) #3. Man Bull Blader is cramping my style lately lol. Although I'd say it's debatable whether or not that is true (or not). I'll just take your word for it because i'm not gonna waste alot of hours looking at colons or semi-colons all day EDIT: you might be right with that semi-colon though (Newest Raigeki Break OCG has no cap after ; as well ) #4. I was pretty sure i saw "if" i mean it must have been there or else I wouldn't have written a whole paragraph on it lol (but if you say there wasn't one, then i'll agree, it's your card after all) [/spoiler] Onto the newest card [spoiler=`That moment when this never ends` :) OCG "Suggestions" for "Recovery Energy"] [i]You can only control 1 [b]face-up[/b] "Recovery Energy" at a time. Once per turn[b], d[/b]uring your Main Phase 1: You can p[b]lace[/b] 1 Recovery [b]Counter[/b] on this card. You can send this [b]face-up [/b]card to the Graveyard to target 1 monster in [b]either player's[/b] Graveyard with [b]a[/b] level equal to the [b]number[/b] of Recovery [b]Counters[/b] on this card; return that card to the hand.[/i] 1. I added "face-up" because i'm pretty sure there wouldn't be a rule tat says you can't control 3 set "Recovery Energy" cards [b](you're right)[/b] 2. This one of those moments where there are multiple conditions. The comma is added instead of another colon because it's a condition within a conditon (condition-ception). See "The Grand Spellbook Tower" to see what I mean. [b](I'm not a OCG pro well I'll fix it)[/b] 3. You "place" counters on cards (Royal Magical Library). Also token are not things you put on cards. It does happen sometimes with other people's cards, but Counters is what you want to put. Also, you don't need the quotations either saving that card text space lol [b](yeah I don't know why I said tokens, silly me. I also thought you used the qoutation marks with counters, I guess it's because you do it with tokens, which I for some reason said and specific cards)[/b] 4. same reason as #1 but with the exception of saying "face-up" if you control a "Set" version of the card at the same time. You'd want to specify that (I believe) 5. If you haven't read the reasoning for "the Graveyard" in the Reply to "Parissa", then your answer is up there 6. missing "a". Number is what you want (pretty sure) instead of amount.[b] (sounds better you're right)[/b] 7. Read #3 [/spoiler] Other than that, The card seems okay. Good way to recycle some lower level monsters back to the hand if need be. Although it might be a little slow if you wanted much higher level monsters. Maybe there will be a card in the future that lets you utilize Recovery Counters really well, but then again that's all up to you isn't it? [/quote] Alright, so I can't edit these cards, cause they're on my desktop computer, so this topic might be inactive until I get access to it again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Purple Posted November 26, 2012 Report Share Posted November 26, 2012 [quote name='Zaziuma' timestamp='1353959114' post='6078475'] Alright, so I can't edit these cards, cause they're on my desktop computer, so this topic might be inactive until I get access to it again. [/quote] Btw i don't mind if you aren't an OCG pro (as I'm not one myself ). This is actually good practice to learn if I'm giving the right information. Also, (about the edit) i guess I'll have to wait and see the edits and/or newer cards you have in store Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zazubat Posted December 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 1, 2012 Alright, I fixed the card, I don't know if I'll have time to work on some new, but you know stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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