DW support (inb4 DW is OP comments) - Single Card

[Zazubat]

I think I made it too good, easy searchable for Tour, plus it can get Graph out, and reuse itself. Discuss, do I need to tone it down?
[IMG]http://i1077.photobucket.com/albums/w473/Zaziuma/OonixxCommanderofDarkWorld.png[/IMG]

[Shinobi Phoenix]

A: Tour Guide Summons all Level 3 Demons, do you really think that should stop all Level 3 Demons from existing or have to be created in order to work or not work with Tour?


B: Tour Guide Summons this card, it doesn't add it to the hand, which is where this card (much like other DW's) want to be and its effects would be negated on top of that all even if it had one that was useable on the field in the first place. Another reason Tour Guide is a non-issue.


C: By "it can get Graph out" I assume you mean it can Summon Grapha back from the Graveyard (which is the effect of your card) as opposed to searching out and pulling Grapha from Deck (which is what that statement would normally be referring to). Well, doesn't Grapha already do that on his own, so your card's existence doesn't change anything or make him better.


D: If the intent behind the second effect line (the "if Opponent discarded this" part) is to discard a Dark World card as an effect AND Special Summon Scaww back, you need to change the line to "card from your hand [u]and[/u] Special Summon this card. Also, that makes the card overpowered for sure given it now activates and resolves 3 (technically 4 if you count the Dark World Monster it discards) effects ALL in one single stroke. If the intent was for the discard to be part of the cost, that line needs an entire rewrite with the appropriate Colon/Semi-Colons added. I understand you copied/pasted Grapha's text block style and altered it, but that doesn't make your card correct for what you're trying to to have it do. You have to put a little more of your own input and logic into it than merely doing that.


E: You put a semi-colon in the first line that should be a colon instead.


F: What color is "Scaww" supposed to be (as in referring to what color since all DW's follow a color-name scheme)?

[Zazubat]

[quote name='Shinobi Phoenix' timestamp='1354643687' post='6085060']
A: Tour Guide Summons all Level 3 Demons, do you really think that should stop all Level 3 Demons from existing or have to be created in order to work or not work with Tour?


B: Tour Guide Summons this card, it doesn't add it to the hand, which is where this card (much like other DW's) want to be and its effects would be negated on top of that all even if it had one that was useable on the field in the first place. Another reason Tour Guide is a non-issue.


C: By "it can get Graph out" I assume you mean it can Summon Grapha back from the Graveyard (which is the effect of your card) as opposed to searching out and pulling Grapha from Deck (which is what that statement would normally be referring to). Well, doesn't Grapha already do that on his own, so your card's existence doesn't change anything or make him better.


D: If the intent behind the second effect line (the "if Opponent discarded this" part) is to discard a Dark World card as an effect AND Special Summon Scaww back, you need to change the line to "card from your hand [u]and[/u] Special Summon this card. Also, that makes the card overpowered for sure given it now activates and resolves 3 (technically 4 if you count the Dark World Monster it discards) effects ALL in one single stroke. If the intent was for the discard to be part of the cost, that line needs an entire rewrite with the appropriate Colon/Semi-Colons added. I understand you copied/pasted Grapha's text block style and altered it, but that doesn't make your card correct for what you're trying to to have it do. You have to put a little more of your own input and logic into it than merely doing that.


E: You put a semi-colon in the first line that should be a colon instead.


F: What color is "Scaww" supposed to be (as in referring to what color since all DW's follow a color-name scheme)?
[/quote]

A: Demons? Also what the hell are you talking about?

B: What I meant was that it could get it on field for Graph, then it would go to hand and so it's effect would be usable.

C: Not quite sure you got what I meant, I just meant that it was useable by Graph from the grave, I just used "get it out" cause that was the words that came to my mind.

D: I intened for it to be like Broww's where if 1 effect is met, and an additional if it was by your opponent's. I should edit it I guess.

E: No it's a colon, it's just hard to see cause it's a little font.

F: I didn't know their names were lated to colors, kinda silly, so I just made up something that sounded like their names. I guess I could change the color to Brawk even though black is technically not a color.

EDIT: I added an other version, gave it some rescritions, plus changed it so it's like it's suppose to be.

[Shinobi Phoenix]

A: Demon-Type in OCG is Fiend-Type in TCG. Demons are Fiends and Fiends are Demons. Daemons are Archfiends.


B: There's already a Level 3 Dark World monster, Broww. So they already have something Tour Guide can bring out, my point was you shouldn't need to act like Tour Guide is something you have to be afraid to construct around. Doesn't matter if Tour Guide could bring it out or not. And that's still called a strategy, if anything makes it too much, it's the other part of the effect, not the existence of Tour Guide and Grapha or any other bouncing card).


C: To make this easier on myself, I'll just quote from Wikia:

[url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_World#Naming"]http://yugioh.wikia....rk_World#Naming[/url]

[i][b]"The names of "Dark World" monsters are based on colors[/b]: "Goldd" is based on gold, "Sillva" is based upon silver, "Gren" is based on green, "Kahkki" on khaki, "Broww" on brown, "Renge" on orange, "Scarr" on scarlet, "Beiige" on beige, "Zure" on azure, "Brron" on bronze, "Ceruli" on cerulean, "Cobal" on cobalt, "Snoww" on snow-white, "Latinum" on platinum, and "Grapha" on graphite". The exception is "Reign-Beaux," which is based on "rainbow". [u]Most "Dark World" monsters' artwork have the color their names were based on[/u]. [b][u]The names of the cards are also based on positions in an army. (Tactician, Overlord, King, Knight, Scout, etc.)"[/u][/b][/i]


Not the most well-written thing, but it has the correct answers.


"Dark" is not a color and "Spirit" is not a military unit or position in a regal court.


When I helped someone with their Dark World monsters and they didn't take to the idea as well in the end after changes, I split the idea into two of my own Dark World monsters (my only Dark World monsters) and used names referring to Infrared and Ultraviolet since they are supposed to be two "outsiders" of the Dark World Army (just like Infrared and Ultraviolet are just outside the visual spectrum).


If you're trying to go with the color Black (which I think the Dark World monsters scheme purposely avoids, maybe because black isn't actually a color), maybe you could use "Ebonn" or another color hue identified as dark-colored almost black. Google "hues of black" and see what you find.



http://thesaurus.com/browse/ebon


Obsidian or Onyx sound like good choices to go with if you are going with black. Like "Obzidaan" or "Oonixx".

[Miror B]

TGU has Broww already. In all honesty this doesn't provide much to DW at all. Their issue is a consistency one, and adding stuff from the grave to the hand MIGHT help with re-using snowws, but I don't see it doing much.

[Zazubat]

[quote name='Meta~' timestamp='1354652213' post='6085224']
TGU has Broww already. In all honesty this doesn't provide much to DW at all. Their issue is a consistency one, and adding stuff from the grave to the hand MIGHT help with re-using snowws, but I don't see it doing much.
[/quote]Funny enough, it was the point... now the reason I mention it, is because of Graph's bounce effect making it useful again if it was SS from the deck by TGU. I know every DW card is like this, and since it has a pretty powerful secondary effect (not that it's that often you run into a deck that discards your hand) I was still worried that it wouldn't become too powerful in that regard.

Now for above, I probalby should have read up on DW, I had no idea that they did that. I don't know which position is left, I don't know anything about that stuff (Commander maybe?) Though, I guess I could use ebon for it's name. Also, not every DW card does it, at least I doubt that "Dragon Lord" is a position in the army xD

[Shinobi Phoenix]

[quote name='Zaziuma' timestamp='1354652764' post='6085234']
Funny enough, it was the point... now the reason I mention it, is because of Graph's bounce effect making it useful again if it was SS from the deck by TGU. I know every DW card is like this, and since it has a pretty powerful secondary effect (not that it's that often you run into a deck that discards your hand) I was still worried that it wouldn't become too powerful in that regard.

Now for above, I probalby should have read up on DW, I had no idea that they did that. I don't know which position is left, I don't know anything about that stuff (Commander maybe?) Though, I guess I could use ebon for it's name. Also, not every DW card does it, at least I doubt that "Dragon Lord" is a position in the army xD
[/quote]


A: The Dragon part is flavor. Lord is a position in a regal court and still assigned to rule over a piece of land or is already ruler of it, it's like a King but lower or you are the only ruler and it's still a military position in various cultures. Remember Jester Lord? There's a Queen and theme is built around positions of a royal court (I should know, I made 7 other Jester cards going by rank and position). BTW -- The DW theme is going by ROLES of in a military unit and Lord can certainly be that. Notice they don't go with names like Sergeant as in a modern army.

B: The OCG name is Grapha, Dragon God of Dark World, and I won't even try to explain the reference to God and his army.


Anyway, back to the other topic, if I (for example) made a DW monster that had the effect of searching for Dark World non-Monster cards from your Deck, I would likely call it "Quartermaster of Dark World".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quartermaster

Perhaps you should just Google "military positions" or "military occupations" for any future DW monsters you make.

[Zazubat]

I doubt I'll make more, I just made this for fun