Yu-Gi-Oh! Armageddon

[RjCardMaker]

well after compressing the file size i was FINALLY able to upload this:

 

this is a new series that takes place after zeXal 

the series starts off with an explosion in Neo Kaiba Corp the heat and impact of the explosion cause a miniature mushroom cloud. as it turns out the explosion was one of the projects trying to escape. this project is know as a sentient alien species called the "ged-eon" but realizes he needs a body and steals one of the dead worker's bodies. to do this he must take over his brain which is easy enough seeing as how half this dude's skull is blow to pieces. as he takes over he learns of the hardships that the man (later identified as Yoshihiro Kamiyaka [the dude with half a face if the image uploaded correctly]) has seen and grows enraged at the memories of human selfishness and ignorance. with this he vows to create a new monster and unleash it upon earth before bonding with it and becoming God. 

 

- season 1: in order to execute his plan he must first find a way to feed off of human vices. he developes a machine to absorb all negative energy in the air and hires 7 "vice warrior" duelist (each one representing a deadly sin) these warriors are to go out and duel people forcing them into rage and the feed off their vices.

 

enter our protagonist Raizon Yura (the black guy) a 19 year old drifter. he performs odd jobs and has for the last 3 years after leaving Neo-kaiba Corp. he has a past with the yoshihiro man and is now on a mission to find him under governmental orders as the news reports that his body was not amongst the carnage in the Corp explosion. a mysterious man reveals the way to Yoshihiro and Raizon suspects something is up but it is the only lead he has to go on. along the way he meets a man know as Hikomu, a woman know as Arula, and saves a child prodigy pianist (runs a "minor" piano deck) named Moku who form a temporary alliance but before continuing the mission they ask Raizon "why are you so obsessed about saving this Yoshihiro man?"

 

Raizon recounts that when he was 15 he was recruited in a war from his home country (because of its small size and traditional coming of age boys were allowed to be drafted as young as 13). during this war he was captured as a spy, and put into a camp.it was in that camp that he met the then 18 year old Yoshihiro as a fellow prisoner. Yoshihiro was a very poor man and at the time had no name to be called by due to the massive size and devastation of the war. during their time at the camp weird experiments were performed on the prisoners, and after Yoshihiro and Raizon got experimented on they began contemplating escape. 2 weeks later they did however as they escaped Yoshihiro got shot trying to protect raizen and after falling to what seemed to be his death Raizon kept running not wanting Yoshihiro's sacrifice be in vain, and managed to escape that night only to be captured by the government once again 1 year later. during that year Yoshihiro was tossed into a pit for dead but managed to escape from the camp during the night. After escaping, he collapsed, severely injured only to be saved by a passing family. After getting nursed back to health Yoshihiro stole from the family all of their wages and got surgery to reconstruct his face. Finally he made a name for himself and returned that couples money. After Raizon got captured he was offered to be released and put on probation  thanks in part to the war's end, but he had to earn that freedom in a duel and he had 2 conditions to abide by.

#1: he must denounce his previous country's citizenship

#2: he is now a soldier for the government if they need him for anything he must answer the call

Raizon accepts the terms and wins the duel gaining his "freedom'. after the duel he met Yoshihiro (who re-introduced himself) who congratulated him on earning freedom the clean way, but Raizon simply stared blankly saying "i am still a slave no matter what i do, is there a such thing as true freedom?" and that sentence ends the flashback

 

with the story told the group decide it is time to go and save Yoshihiro once and for all and storm the building.

they all fight through the vice warriors and make their way to the top of the building. while the duels against the vice warriors are going on the ged-eon is dismayed to learn that the personality and memories of Yoshihiro are beginning to return and it manifests its self as an alternate personality.... the original personality. 

 

the Ged-eon winds up cornered, as his plan wound up failing, and tries to escape the building via helicopter. Raizon suddenly reveals he posesses superhuman strength speed and agility, by leaping on to the helicopter to try to discover what truly happened to Yoshihiro. the Ged-eon infects the pilot of the helicopter to take it over and forces Raizon to duel suspended by a cord in mid air. 

the duel begins and in the final climax the grand monster "Armaged-eon" is summoned. Raizon is about to lose but all of a sudden the dragon reaches its limit and explodes causing the chopper to spin uncontrollably. in his final moments Yoshihiro's original personality comes out and cuts raizon's cord causing him to fall into the ocean- dropping the knife in the process. and the chopper crashes at last...

 

i will make a season 2 tomorrow as of now good night. what do you guys think? 

 

this sketch took no longer than 10 mins as such its a little odd looking... the best art takes about an hour. aint nobody got time for that

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

*walks in with a jovial smile*

 

Well I had given up on this section, but having seen on the main page the latest topic listed as 'Yu-Gi-Oh! Armageddon', I couldn't help myself but smile and have a look. After all, Armageddon is such a great title anyway, even if it wasn't for the personal connection. Now... do I sue? Do I sue for copyright infringement?

 

(Just kidding on the lawsuit front :D)

 

When I read the start I was fearing the worst as I thought 'oh god, another person who thinks one sentence to cover a major event is enough before moving on to the next one and for some reason doesn't realise he needs to build up a scene of the explosion or to describe this alien species or anything before covering a whole season's worth in essentially a blurb'... but then this is a blurb. Or a promo if you'd rather. Technically this should go in Story Planning, but you've been here 10 days, you're not to know that. I'm sure some kindly mod will move it.

 

As a premise, well you've got an actiony start, which is hugely important (even if we have all been spoilered, but consider it a hook in the advert to make us tune in for the series beginning). But hey, it's infinitely better than two school rivals duelling, or a duel tournament! :D

 

The seven vice warriors, gee now where have this before? But the fact it's the seven sins, which I have an unhealthy obsession for, it's cool... if it's done right. So no presssure there. The sum goal of the evil plan is... well, it's an evil plan. Becoming a god on earth is the main angle of maybe 90% of villians in history if they were up front about it. Using a machine that converts/is fuelled by negative feelings, well that kinda makes sense linked with the vice guys. It sort of makes sense to me and isn't wtf overcomplicated.

 

From what I gathered of the summary most of the fighting is gonna take place at the ruins of Kaiba Corp, which the heroes are attacking and the Vice Warriors are defending. Well, hopefully after the Vice Warriors have been aggressors for a bit I'd hope. I'd be not too happy about eing there from start to finish, given Raizon has to recruit/meet people/generally be antagonised. Dunno why the spoiler was necessary regarding this Mephe guy.

 

As for the ending... well... you've just told us the end....

 

So why do I need to read the fic when you eventually do write the thing proper? I already know more or less how it ends. Duels on helicopters sounds cool and all, but... I've seen it now.

 

I'd advise you to forget about Season 2 for now. If you want to have some bullet points drafted somewhere, but you need Season 1 to be a success first. Flesh out your supporting cast a bit more, give your hero a bit more edge. AND REMOVE THE SPOILERS ABOUT THE DAMN ENDING!!!!

 

Ps: I wish I could draw something like that in just 10 minutes. I think it looks awesome!

[RjCardMaker]

*walks in with a jovial smile*

 

Well I had given up on this section, but having seen on the main page the latest topic listed as 'Yu-Gi-Oh! Armageddon', I couldn't help myself but smile and have a look. After all, Armageddon is such a great title anyway, even if it wasn't for the personal connection. Now... do I sue? Do I sue for copyright infringement?

 

(Just kidding on the lawsuit front :D)

 

When I read the start I was fearing the worst as I thought 'oh god, another person who thinks one sentence to cover a major event is enough before moving on to the next one and for some reason doesn't realise he needs to build up a scene of the explosion or to describe this alien species or anything before covering a whole season's worth in essentially a blurb'... but then this is a blurb. Or a promo if you'd rather. Technically this should go in Story Planning, but you've been here 10 days, you're not to know that. I'm sure some kindly mod will move it.

 

As a premise, well you've got an actiony start, which is hugely important (even if we have all been spoilered, but consider it a hook in the advert to make us tune in for the series beginning). But hey, it's infinitely better than two school rivals duelling, or a duel tournament! :D

 

The seven vice warriors, gee now where have this before? But the fact it's the seven sins, which I have an unhealthy obsession for, it's cool... if it's done right. So no presssure there. The sum goal of the evil plan is... well, it's an evil plan. Becoming a god on earth is the main angle of maybe 90% of villians in history if they were up front about it. Using a machine that converts/is fuelled by negative feelings, well that kinda makes sense linked with the vice guys. It sort of makes sense to me and isn't wtf overcomplicated.

 

From what I gathered of the summary most of the fighting is gonna take place at the ruins of Kaiba Corp, which the heroes are attacking and the Vice Warriors are defending. Well, hopefully after the Vice Warriors have been aggressors for a bit I'd hope. I'd be not too happy about eing there from start to finish, given Raizon has to recruit/meet people/generally be antagonised. Dunno why the spoiler was necessary regarding this Mephe guy.

 

As for the ending... well... you've just told us the end....

 

So why do I need to read the fic when you eventually do write the thing proper? I already know more or less how it ends. Duels on helicopters sounds cool and all, but... I've seen it now.

 

I'd advise you to forget about Season 2 for now. If you want to have some bullet points drafted somewhere, but you need Season 1 to be a success first. Flesh out your supporting cast a bit more, give your hero a bit more edge. AND REMOVE THE SPOILERS ABOUT THE DAMN ENDING!!!!

 

Ps: I wish I could draw something like that in just 10 minutes. I think it looks awesome!

thanks for your support and yes i am thinking this up as time goes on and as such things will flesh out/ get changed. yeah i know i do rip off a few points (hell the absorbing mmachine is a plot from gx season 3 and well... the vices (ERM full metal alchemist) i intended them as a start naturally the characters will all grow a personality as well. as for the evil plan... well as TGWTG puts it "OF COURSE!!!" yeah its a "humans are bad lets take this beautiful planet from them ourselves" but honestly an original motivation is really hard to do without ripping off my own copyrighted work. one thing i need mention the battle does NOT take place at the kaiba corp, its a different building entirely. i have yet to figure out where though. so ill just leave it at "the Ged-eon wearing the mask seen in the pic became a billionaire thanks to acts of blackmail and murder in the black market." this is a new building 1 year later in a different location, hence the sudden helicopter.  thank you for your kind comment and support i will remember to flesh and what not :)