Deep Space Archetype

[ukdl123]

My Deep Space cards. Not complete yet, still working. Please tell me what you think. Any constructive criticism is highly appreciated. (somebody please tell me how to put the cards in a spoiler, can't find it in the rules)

I take no credit for artwork used in these cards.

[NoshpalStefan]

Let me quickly fix the lore for you:

 

Spacial Rift Weapon (Regarding this title, at least change "Weapon" to "Sword" - it sounds better that way)

 

This card can only be equipped to "Deep Space Warrior".The equipped monster loses 1700 ATK. It can also attack your opponent directly. During your opponent's Damage Step, you can pay 500 Life Points to have this card's effect negated until your next Standby Phase.

 

Fifth Dimensional Space (Again, consider changing the name to something more interesting. Try "Dimensional Space of the Fifth" or something like that - be poetic!)

 

Pay 2000 Life Points. All "Deep Space" monsters you control are unaffected by your opponent's card effects.

 

Deep Space Warrior (Okay I don't have quirks with the names of this card and the next one)

 

This warrior lives in deep space and fights for the spell army. Not many have had the courage to face him. (Okay, here be more creative - normal monsters rely on their text to keep them interesting)

 

Deep Space Princess

 

During your Standby Phase, if you control this face-up card in Attack position, you can tribute it to Special Summon 1 "Deep Space Warrior" from your hand or deck.

 

Okay, now that the lore is done with, let me get on to the actual cards. If you're asking what was wrong with the lore, I have just one answer: Capitalization. It's a big part of card making.

 

Anyhow, Spacial Rift Weapon follows a kind of basic effect - reduce ATK, attacks directly. The 500 LP effect is interesting, but it's basically pretty standard. I would give it a 6/10, fix the lore and it's definitely 8/10.

 

Fifth Dimensional Space is a bit more interesting, but vastly overpowered. For 2000 Life Points, it would be fine if they weren't destroyed for one turn, but a continuous card? Too much. 5/10.

 

Deep Space Warrior - well, I can't really comment on much since he's a standard normal monster. 9/10.

 

Deep Space Princess follows standard regulations - It's a LV monster without the LV in its title. Good perhaps but highly unoriginal. 6/10.

 

All in all, I'm not trying to discourage you from this set - it could have quite a good amount of potential, but so far it's all unoriginal. I'd give you a B+ for the cards, a C for the lore, but definitely a much lower grade for creativity / originality.

 

By the way, this is how to make spoilers: [*spoiler=enter name for spoiler here] ENTER CONTENT HERE [*/spoiler] (Remove the * when using it)

[ukdl123]

Thank you very much for the help. These are the first cards I've made here, and I'm glad to see that There's a lot more to improve. If there wasn't, it wouldn't be any fun! :D Ill work on editing the lore, thanks.

 

New Spell card. tell me what'cha think.