New Xyz

[Syncopation]

The grammar might be a little off but I think it works... 

Tell me what you think...

 

Lore:

2 Level 8 monsters

When this card in its owner's possession is destroyed by an opponent's card (either by battle or by card effect) and sent to its owner's Graveyard: Special Summon the monsters used to Xyz Summon this card in face-up defense position, then return this card in your Graveyard to the Extra Deck.

[Therrion]

For future reference, you should copy and paste the effect of the card below the card to aid reviewers, as it is hard to squint at the card's effect on certain screens or for people with less then perfect eyesight.

That aside, I can read it, so:

It is a very interesting card. I, honestly, would just like it to stick with the first effect, as I think a generic Rank 8 shouldn't be like a pseudo-Boss monster for any Deck able to Summon it. Plus, when it is your turn again, you could just re-overlay into another one of these, similar to what you could do with the second effect. Or, perhaps you could add the Ray V effect, "You can target 1 Xyz Monster in your Graveyard; return that target to the Extra Deck." In addition to the Special Summoning of its materials. That way, you could run only 1 and keep on Xyzing into it provided your materials live. This would also remove the need for the first sentence. So, what I am suggesting all in all would look like:

"2 Level 8 monsters

When this card in its owner's possession is destroyed by an opponent's card (either by battle or by card effect) and sent to its owner's Graveyard: Special Summon the monsters used to Xyz Summon this card, then return this card in your Graveyard to the Extra Deck."

That way, the effect is short and sweet, you only have to run one, and it is similar to imitating the last effect on this card!

 

Very nice creation, especially for a One Star YCMer.

[Syncopation]

For future reference, you should copy and paste the effect of the card below the card to aid reviewers, as it is hard to squint at the card's effect on certain screens or for people with less then perfect eyesight.

That aside, I can read it, so:

It is a very interesting card. I, honestly, would just like it to stick with the first effect, as I think a generic Rank 8 shouldn't be like a pseudo-Boss monster for any Deck able to Summon it. Plus, when it is your turn again, you could just re-overlay into another one of these, similar to what you could do with the second effect. Or, perhaps you could add the Ray V effect, "You can target 1 Xyz Monster in your Graveyard; return that target to the Extra Deck." In addition to the Special Summoning of its materials. That way, you could run only 1 and keep on Xyzing into it provided your materials live. This would also remove the need for the first sentence. So, what I am suggesting all in all would look like:

"2 Level 8 monsters

When this card in its owner's possession is destroyed by an opponent's card (either by battle or by card effect) and sent to its owner's Graveyard: Special Summon the monsters used to Xyz Summon this card, then return this card in your Graveyard to the Extra Deck."

That way, the effect is short and sweet, you only have to run one, and it is similar to imitating the last effect on this card!

 

Very nice creation, especially for a One Star YCMer.

I was beginning to think I made a bad card since know one responded. It is fixed now. Thank your very much for your advice and support.

[Therrion]

I really like this card now, as it is powerful and defensive while still providing offensive support. You could relate it to attaching a Gearframe to a Fortress. You ensure that even if the worst occurs you will still have something to try to be in the game.

I forgot to add in my effect suggestion that the monsters are Summoned in Defense Position. I won't go to say that Summoning them in Attack Position is OP, but it may be viewed as such by others. Perhaps you could add that into the effect. Otherwise, I love it, it is short, sweet, and powerful.

[Ice Kirby]

This could be annoying against some decks that don't really have beaters. It's a very solid idea and is executed very well, but I suggest lowering it's ATK by a little, i'd say 300 so it's effect actually is used. All in all, great job 9/10