[LB Entry #1] Vagary, the Dusk Wraith

[·Toot]

 

 

During either player's turn; you can send this card from your hand to the Graveyard; target 1 card on the field: switch that target to face-down Defense Position. If your opponent controls a monster and you do not; you can Special Summon this card (from your hand). You can equip this card to 1 face-up card your opponent controls. Switch that card to face-down Defense Position. That card canot be Flip Summoned or flipped face-up. 

If anyone was wondering (probably wasn't), it was supposed to be a Nightmare kind of thing. Its supposed to put your monster to sleep and your monster would have endless Nightmares (Darkrai ftw). Lol. I also screwed up the OCG a bit... He was supposed to stay equipped while the card was still face-down, I wasn't sure on how to word it correctly.

 

CnC would be nice

 

Image Credit to HPDoom

Template Credit to Zextra

[Zazubat]

Not only did you screw up the wording, you also screwed up Union flavor, and how Equips work. Normal Unions can SS themselves from Equip Cards, why remove this? Why is it even an Union? Anyway, I find it kind of cheap. It's a hand Book of Moon, not something I am really a fan off, since BoM can at least be negated and or destroyed before you can do anything, on top of that, it can SS itself to the field, equip to change (which is more balanced since that can only be done your turn), and from my understanding, you wish for it stay equipped? Well, that's not how Equip Card works, if it's face-down or not on the field, boom goes the Equip Card, you can't change that. You could make it a Continuous Spell/Trap Card if you wanted, that would work, but not like that. I suggest you change it to be a Continuous Spell Card instead, that at least works.

 

OCG fix: Hover your cursor over the dotted lines to read my reasons for the fixes. I do not repeat if you have made the flaw more than once, instead will it be bold. Anything in italic is simple typos.

 

During either player's turn[acronym='Conditions (such as "When this card is X Summoned" or "When this card is sent to the Graveyard") or OPT (or "during either player's turn")-clauses mean you want colon, not a semi-colon']: You[/acronym] can send this card from your hand to the Graveyard [acronym='you put the semi-colon the wrong place, you cannot target after a semi-colon.']to[/acronym] target 1 [acronym='monsters are the only card which can be in face-down Defense Position, so say monster']monster[/acronym] on the field[acronym='You already used a colon, only one colon and semi-colon per effect, instead, this is where the semi-colon should be, because it is here where your effect resolves. Also, change is used when talking about Positions.']; change[/acronym] that target to face-down Defense Position. If your opponent controls a monster and you control no monsters: You can Special Summon this card [acronym='Inherent Summons, such as Black Luster Soldier - Envoy of the Beginning use the parentheses, Summons that trigger such as High Priestess of Prophecy do not.']from your hand.[/acronym] You can equip this card to 1 face-up monster your opponent controls. Change the [acronym='For it to be clearer, I changed it to say "equipped monster" instead']equipped monster to [/acronym]face-down Defense Position. That card cannot be Flip Summoned or flipped face-up.

[Zextra]

I've already reviewed the card on your 1v1. I like the hand trap qualities this card has, and it can both disrupt your opponent's plays as well as further your own, so it's nice in that regard. The Book of Moon is a bit questionable, but I don't find it that game-changing, and overall it's an interesting card. I would say that it would be better off without being a Union, though.

@ Zazu - the card doesn't stay equipped, so it's sent to the Graveyard when the affected monster is flipped face-down. However, its effect is a lingering effect (which I'm assuming is Toot's aim), which keeps the effect active even after being sent to the Graveyard.

[Zazubat]

@ Zazu - the card doesn't stay equipped, so it's sent to the Graveyard when the affected monster is flipped face-down. However, its effect is a lingering effect (which I'm assuming is Toot's aim), which keeps the effect active even after being sent to the Graveyard.

Why would it equip itself then? Shouldn't it just send itself to the Graveyard, considering that it's the only thing it does? I had it in mind that his intention was for it to stay equipped, since he used those words, but that's impossible because of game mechanics.

[Zextra]

It's true that the wording makes the effect somewhat wonky, but nevertheless, I think the intention was just to lock its target in place, and the equip was just the selected execution of the desired effect. So with that said, Toot, the card might be better off if you reworded the effect to something along the lines of:

"You can send this card to the Graveyard and target 1 face-up monster your opponent controls; change that target to face-down Defense Position. That target cannot be Flip Summoned or be flipped face-up."