Dreams of Despair (My First Set) [Currently 51 Cards]

[KnightBuster]

Greetings one and all. I welcome you to my very first attempt at making a set of (or really, any) custom cards. With that in mind, there is a total of 51 cards in this set of mine, so I'd like to hear some thoughts and impressions.

[spoiler=Booster]

Pack Image:


Cards:

























[img]http://i.imgur.com/f3VKUPY.jpg
[/spoiler]


[spoiler=Card Lore]CARD LORE

Monochrom, Bringer of Despair (000)
Lore: When this card is Summoned, draw 2 cards from you deck. During your Standby Phase, you can tribute 1 Effect Monster you control to increase your Life Points by 1000. During your End Phase, if this card exists in your Graveyard, you can add it to the top of your deck.

Forlorn Harpie (001)
Lore: When this card is Summoned, discard 1 card from your hand. You can add 1 Spell Card from your Deck to your hand.

Forlorn Moth (002)
Lore: During your Standby Phase, if this card is in face up Defense Position, both players can draw 1 card from their respective decks.

Forlorn Cleaver (003)
Lore: Increase the ATK of this card by 200 for each card drawn by the effect of a Spell, Trap, or Monster effect.

Forlorn Fantasy (004)
Lore: If this card is drawn by a Spell, Trap or Monster effect, Special Summon this card in face up Defense position. When this card is Summoned, you can Special Summon 1 Level 4 or lower "Forlorn" Monster from you hand.

Despair Knight (005)
Lore: When a card is drawn by the effect of a Spell, Trap or Monster effect, select one monster on the opponent's side of the field. Decrease the selected monster's ATK by 1000 until the end of the turn. This effect can only be used once per turn.

Despair Lancer (006)
Lore: When a card is drawn by the effect of a Spell, Trap or Monster effect, select one monster on your side of the field. The selected monster cannot attack this turn. Draw 1 card from your deck. This effect can only be used once per turn.

Forlorn Phantasm (007)
Lore: If this card is drawn by Spell, Trap or Monster effect, Special Summon this card in face up Defense Position. When this card is Summoned, both players can give up 1000 Life Points to add 1 Effect Monster from their deck to their hand.

Aviaok, Guide of Despair (008)
Lore: During your Standby Phase, you can tribute this face up card to draw 1 card from your deck.

Forlorn Crafter (009)
Lore: Once per turn, during your Standby Phase, you can discard 1 card from your hand to add 1 Level 4 or lower Effect Monster from your deck to your hand.

Despair Release (010)
Lore: When a card is drawn by a Monster effect, both players can select one card from their respective decks and add it to their hands. Both players must show the selected cards to each other. During each of your Standby Phases, pay 1000 Life Points or destroy this card.

Forlorn Munchkin (011)
Lore: You can discard this card from your hand to draw 1 card from your deck. During your End Phase, if this card exists in the Graveyard, you can pay 500 Life Points to add this card to your hand.

Despair Summoner (012)
Lore: During your Draw Phase, if you draw a Level 4 of lower Effect Monster, you can pay 500 Life Points to Special Summon it to the field in face up Defense Position.

A Deal With Despair (013)
Lore: When a Monster is Special Summoned, you can tribute 1 monster you control to draw 2 cards from your deck. You must skip your next Battle Phase.

Escaping Despair (014)
Lore: Discard 2 cards from your hand. You can add 1 Effect Monster from your Graveyard to the top of your deck.

Clairvoyant Eyes (015)
Lore: Your opponent can select 1 card in your hand. Show the selected card to your opponent. If the selected card is a Level 4 or lower Effect Monster, Special Summon it in face up Defense Position.

Forlorn Shaman (016)
Lore: This card cannot be Special Summoned. During your Standby Phase, if this card exists in your Graveyard, draw 1 card from your deck.

Intrusive Despair (017)
Lore: This card can only be activated during a turn when a Level 4 or lower Effect Monster is sent to the Graveyard by battle. Special Summon 1 monster from your hand or deck whose Level is equal to that of the destroyed monster.

Summoner's Staff (018)
Lore: Increase the ATK of the equipped monster by 400 for each Special Summoned monster in play.

Forlorn Mirage (019)
Lore: This card cannot be destroyed by battle. When this card is destroyed and sent from the field to the Graveyard, draw 1 card from your deck.

Despair Infusion (020)
Lore: When an Effect Monster you control is destroyed by battle, decrease the ATK of the monster your opponent controls by 500.

Assault Blocker (021)
Lore: When an Effect Monster you control is selected as an attack target, you can discard 1 card from your hand. The ATK and DEF of the attacking monster becomes the same ATK and DEF of the monster you control.

Despair Monger (022)
Lore: When this card is Summoned, increase the ATK of each Effect Monster you control by 200 for each card in your hand.

Approaching Despair (023)
Lore: This card can only be activated when you control 3 or more face up Effect Monsters. Draw 2 cards from your deck. If you draw "Monochrom, Bringer of Despair", you can Special Summon it to the field in face up Defense Position.

Insurmountable Despair (024)
Lore: This card can only be equipped to "Monochrom, Bringer of Despair". The equipped monster cannot be destroyed by battle. Increase the ATK and DEF of the equipped monster by 2000.

Dead End Ambush (025)
Lore: This card can only be activated during your Battle Phase. Discard 1 card from your hand. Your opponent cannot activate Spell or Trap cards until the end of the turn.

Despair Hysteria (026)
Lore: Select one face down Monster card your opponent controls. When that monster is Flip Summoned or used as a tribute, draw 1 card from your deck.

Forlorn Magician (027)
Lore: This card cannot be destroyed by battle. When you draw a card by Spell effect, increase your Life Points by 400 for each card drawn.

Backalley Deal (028)
Lore: Tribute 1 Effect Monster you control and pay 1000 Life Points. Draw 3 cards.

Lady of Despair (029)
Lore: If this card is drawn by Spell, Trap or Monster effect, Special Summon this card in face up Defense Position. When this card is Summoned, select one face up Effect Monster you control. Decrease the ATK of the selected monster by 800. Draw 1 card from your deck.

Despair of Death (030)
Lore: If this card is discarded from your hand to the Graveyard, draw 1 card from your deck. During your End Phase, if this card exists in your Graveyard, you can select one card from your Graveyard and add it to your deck. Reshuffle the deck.

Despair From Beyond (031)
Lore: This card can only be activated when you have 5 or more Effect Monsters in your Graveyard. Whenever an Effect Monster is sent to the Graveyard, draw 1 card from your deck. Your opponent can draw 2 cards during their Draw Phase.

Forlorn Deity (032)
Lore: This card cannot be Special Summoned. When this card is Summoned, both players can select 5 cards from their respective Graveyards and add them to their decks. During your Standby Phase, if this card is face up in Attack Position, increase your Life Points by 1000.

Forlorn Grappler (033)
Lore: If you control 3 or more face up Effect Monsters, this card cannot be destroyed by battle. During the End Phase of a turn that this card destroyed an opponent's monster by battle, draw 1 card from your deck.

Greedy Vision (034)
Lore: Select 1 Spell Card in your deck. Place it at the top of your deck

Power of Despair (035)
Lore: Increase the ATK of the equipped monster by 200 for each Effect Monster in your Graveyard.

Despair Jester (036)
Lore: If this card is drawn by Spell, Trap or Monster effect, Special Summon this card in face up Defense Position. When this card is Summoned, select 1 face up monster your opponent controls. Increase the ATK of the selected monster by 800. Draw 1 card from your deck.

Jug of Greed (037)
Lore: Draw 2 cards from your deck. Skip your next Draw Phase.

Forlorn Prophet (038)
Lore: During your Standby Phase, look at the top 3 cards of your deck.

Forlorn Beast (039)
Lore: If this card is the only Monster card in your hand, you can Special Summon it in face up Defense Position. When this card is Summoned, both players can add 1 Level 5 or higher Effect Monster to the top of their decks.

Despair Charmer (040)
Lore: When this card is Summoned, you can add 1 Trap card from you deck to your hand.

Nethernever Knight (041)
Lore: When this card is Summoned, increase the ATK of this card by 200 for each card in your Graveyard. This card can attack your opponent directly.

Forlorn Hero (042)
Lore: When this card is Summoned, you can pay 500 Life Points to Special Summon 1 Level 4 or lower "Forlorn" monster from your hand or deck. If there are more than 5 "Forlorn" monsters in your Graveyard, this card cannot be destroyed by battle.

Forlorn Crafter #2 (043)
Lore: When this card is Summoned, you can Special Summon 1 "Forlorn Crafter" in face up Defense Position. During your Standby Phase, increase your Life Points by 300 for each face up Effect Monster your control.

Behind the Mask (044)
Lore: The controller of this card must always show their opponent their hand. During your Draw Phase, draw 2 cards.

Forlorn Gardna (045)
Lore: If this card is Special Summoned in face up Defense Position, draw 2 cards. While this card is face up on the field, your opponent cannot select other Effect Monsters you control as attack targets.

Metamorphic Despair (046)
Lore: If this card is drawn by Spell, Trap, or Monster effect, immediately discard this card. Special Summon 1 "Spero, End of Despair" in face up Attack Position.

Oculus Gauntlet (047)
Lore: This card can only be equipped to a Special Summoned monster. Increase the ATK and DEF of the equipped monster by 400 for each Spell and/or Trap card in your hand.

Dream Devourer (048)
Lore: Once per turn, during your Main Phase, if you control this card on the field, you can equip it to a face up Effect Monster as an Equip Spell Card, OR unequip the Union equipment and Special Summon this card in face-up Attack Position. While equipped to a monster by this card's effect, decrease the ATK and DEF of the equipped monster to 0. The equipped monster cannot be destroyed by battle. (1 monster can only be equipped with 1 Union Monster at a time. If the equipped monster is destroyed, destroy this card instead.)

Blastblaze Cherim (049)
Lore: Whenever you draw a card due to a Spell, Trap or Monster effect, inflict 200 points of damage to your opponent's Life Points for each card drawn.

Spero, End of Despair (050)
Lore: This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by the effect of "Metamorphic Despair". When this card is Special Summoned, draw 5 cards. If any of the cards drawn is an Effect Monster, immediately discard them and inflict 800 points of damage to your opponent's Life Points for each Effect Monster drawn. When this card battles with an opponent's monster, draw 1 card from your deck. If the card is a Spell or Trap card, increase this card's ATK by 1000 until the end of the Battle Phase.[/spoiler]

[AnUntrainedArmy]

There are too many cards to post an individual review for each one, so I'll just go over some major issues with the set.

 

You get to add any monster/ spell card from your Deck to your hand with little to no cost to you. This is highly abusable and way OP. Being able to add any Spell to your hand is extremely OP. Not many cards in Yugioh are able to do this, and for good reason. With the effect of Forlorn Harpie, you get a free Heavy Storm/Dark Hole to wipe out your opponent's field. Here is an incredibly broken combo I just thought of: Monochrom equals free cards, you draw Fantasy, summon it, summon Harpie, grab Dark Hole, activate Double Summon (or a similar card, even something that summons from the Grave) get another Harpie, grab Heavy Storm, and precede to decimate your opponent's entire field. A big part of card making is making sure that your cards cannot be abused or used to create OTKs, FTKs, and combos like this one. 

 

These cards require no skill to use. Going uber plus all day for free is not a good thing in Yugioh. Cards like Pot of Greed are banned for a reason. I can just Summon Monochrom and draw 2 free cards with no cost to me whatsoever? Maybe add some kind of drawback to cards like these, perhaps ditching your whole hand to the GY? Then you would need to put some thought into to it before using it. Because if you get rid of your hand for two shitty cards, then you are in a bad position. That is another big part of car making. Make sure your cards are skillful. Cards like Dragon Ruler and Spellbook of Judgment require no skill to use and instead makes the player spam as many cards as they can and them go super plus. Avoid making cards like that. 

 

Those things aside, there are some good things about the set. They revolve around a common theme and although they are broken, they go very well together.

 

You also seem to be used to the "old" form of OCG. Up until the set Generation Force (when Xyz monsters were released) Konami used a certain type of OCG on the cards. Then things were changed big time.

 

For a guide for making balanced cards, check this out:

http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/304872-a-guide-to-making-cards/

 

And for a guide to proper OCG, see this:

http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/301087-ocg-thread-common-terms-and-phrases-other-useful-tips/

 

I hope this helps improve your card making in the future, you'll only get better at it.

Welcome to YCM.

[KnightBuster]

Ah. Truth be told, I've been very very out of the loop when it comes to the game. OCG is the card grammar and phrasing yes? I was simply going off of certain other card effect wordings (from much older cards), so that may be way it's out of date. I'll be sure to read up on it.

As for the set itself, first: thank you for taking the time to comment, and secondly: I will take the OP comments to heart. I don't play the game myself, but I doubt playing it with broken cards sounds fun. I'll keep balance in mind when making new cards. I doubt I'll be making a set as big as again this until I get the feel for it down though.