Shmeggege -- an Archetype of Bumbling yet Adorable Morons

[Adak33]

...Yeah, I don't even know. Ultimately, I think part of the reason I designed these cards was to get a change of pace and make something much more light-hearted. And despite consisting more or less entirely of chibis (And not very good ones; there's a surprising lack of appropriate chibi drawings on the internet. As such, I apologize for my mediocre-at-best picture selection), this is not in fact a joke archetype. You see, whatever the reason was, I decided to make an archetype of bumbling morons...

 

When you declare an attack with this monster against a Monster with lower attack than itself, select a monster you control and attack the selected Monster instead.

 

And here we see one of the Archetype's central mechanics: Attacking your own Monsters. Normally when I make an Archetype, I try to give the majority of the cards the potential to be used in decks not focused on the Archetype. But I decided to do the opposite here; their bumbling makes them an active detriment to any deck except one centered around them, the idea being that their collective idiocy cancels itself out. This concept is best shown by this card here, rather central to the Archetype if I do say so myself:

 

When you receive battle damage from an attack by a "Shmeggege" Monster you own against a Monster you control: Reduce the battle damage to 0, and inflict damage to your opponent's life points equal to the negated damage. Neither Monster is destroyed.

 

Yes, the phrasing's kind of awkward. I wanted to make the effect also trigger if your opponent attacks you with a Shmeggege Monster that they stole from you... or that you gave them, as may be the case with this card:

 

You may normal summon this Monster on your opponent's side of the field without a tribute. Whenever this Monster destroys a "Shmeggege" Monster, the owner of this card gains life points equal to the difference between this Monster's attack and the attack of the destroyed Monster.

 

(In case it wasn't clear -- and let's be honest, it isn't -- the joke here is that he's a "Master of Disguise" who's infiltrating the enemy by putting on random halloween costume parts that don't actually disguise him at all).

 

Fitting in with the "Bumbling Idiots" theme is this one, who trips on the way to the fight:

 

When you declare an attack with this monster, switch this Monster into defense position and conduct the Damage Step as if the targeted monster attacked this one.

 

Let's move on:

 

This attack-position Monster cannot be destroyed by battle. End Phase: If there are any monsters on the field other than this one, this Monster attacks the Monster with the highest attack (Even if it's a Monster you control). If this card is the monster with the highest attack, it is destroyed.

 

This defense position Monster may not be destroyed by battle. While you control this face-up defense position Monster: "Shmeggege" Monsters gain 1000 defense. End Phase: All defense position Psychic-Type "Shmeggege" Monsters are switched into attack position.

 

Naturally, they have combat robots! Robots that are poorly programmed and designed, at that. Who'da thunk it? They both have 2100 in the wrong stat for their role, they both hurt their side due to being completely automated and having skewed priorities... and they're both tribute Monsters, which anyone on this forum will tell you is a poor design choice. :P

 

Of course, it's probably unclear why you'd use either of these Monsters. Terminator will occasionally attack his own side to feed Comedy of Errors, but most Shmeggege Monsters have pretty low attack. And, well, considering the aforementioned low attack, that makes Med-Bot worse than useless... right?

 

Well, not exactly. Let's take a look at these two cards:

 

When a "Shmeggege" Monster attacks a Monster your opponent controls: You may pay 800 Life Points and select a Monster you control; the selected Monster is attacked instead.

 

When a "Shmeggege" monster you control is attacked by a Monster with an attack higher than the attack of the targeted Monster: Pay 800 Life Points and switch the position of the attacked Monster.

 

Of course, that life point cost can build up... but it combo's well with this card:

 

When you activate a card that requires you to pay at least 400 life points: Negate the card before it activates, pay half the life point cost listed on the card, and Select one "Shmeggege" Monster that you control; that Monster gains 500 attack and defense and is destroyed during your next Standby Phase. If the source of the Life-point cost is a "Shmeggege" Monster, do not negate the effect.

 

But the bots aren't the only ones that combo with the above. We also have this:

 

When this Monster attacks a Monster with defense higher than its attack, this Monster may attack all Monsters in Monster Zones adjacent to the attacked Monster.  You must then pay 800 Life Points or destroy this Monster.

 

And there's another card with life-point costs, though pretty much the entire Archetype benefits from this one:

 

You may only control one copy of this card at a time, and you must pay 1000 Life Points to equip this card to a Monster. If this card is equipped to a Psychic-Type "Shmeggege" Monster, all "Shmeggege" Monsters on the field or in your hand gain the effect of the equipped Monster.

 

You can see why sharing these effects with Monsters on the field would be useful. But why the hand? Well, there's Disguise Master of course, but there's also this one:

 

Standby Phase: You may ask your opponent to select a Monster on either side of the field. If they do, this monster is special-summoned and declares an attack on the selected Monster. If they do not, discard this card.

 

And before we get completely off the subject, there's other cards that muck about with stats in odd ways that IFF Coordinator helps with, much like Med-Bot does:

 

When an attack is declared against an attack-position "Shmeggege" Monster: Increase its defense by 1000 and decrease its attack by 500. When an attack is declared against a defense-position "Shmeggege" Monster: Increase its attack by 1000 and decrease its defense by 500.

 

And there's also yet another card with a life-point cost:

 

Standby Phase: You may pay any number of life points. All "Shmeggege" Monsters lose attack points equal to twice the amount of life-points spent.

 

There's only a few more monsters left. Like this fellow:

 

When a card that you own is destroyed by a card that you control, negate the effect of the destroyed card, gain 500 life points and inflict 500 damage to your opponent. This card's effect may not activate in response to cards that are destroyed by their own effect.

 

And naturally there's a card that goes with this one. Which also turned out... somewhat creepier than I intended:

 

Indicate 1 card your opponent controls and 1 "Shmeggege" Monster you control. Your opponent selects 1 of the indicated cards and destroys it.

 

0_0 Moving on... This is a thing too:

 

Reveal the top 5 Monsters of your deck. All revealed "Shmeggege" Monsters are sent to the graveyard; all other revealed cards are shuffled into the deck.

 

I suppose it's only natural that a call for help made by these guys would lead to the rescuers crashing and burning... It's ultimately beneficial in a manner similar to Foolish Burial though, as well as supporting one of the Archetype's Boss Monsters.

 

By this point, some of you are probably wondering why Miku Hatsune shows up on all of the magic and trap cards. Well obviously it's because she's the...

When you declare an attack with this Monster, you may pay 1000 life points. If you do not, this Monster must attack a Monster on your side of the field instead of the targeted Monster.

 

(Okay, it's actually because there's massive amounts of chibi artwork of her for some reason)

 

And I mentioned boss Monsters, right? I believe I did. Here, have a few:

 

 

3 Level 3 "Shmeggege" Psychic Monsters

When a "Shmeggege" Monster is sent from your hand or deck to the graveyard, attach it to this card as an xyz Material. Detach an xyz Material: Subtract 1000 from the detached material's attack points, and inflict the remainder to your opponent as direct damage.

 

 

1 "Shmeggege Dragoon"+2 level 5 "Shmeggege" Machine Monsters

This Monster May not be destroyed by battle. Standby Phase: You may decrease this Monster's attack by 1000 to attack all Monsters on the field with this card. If you used this effect, you may detach 1 xyz Material and increase this Monster's attack by 1000.

 

 

2 or more Level 3 "Shmeggege" Monsters

This Monster's Attack is 3000 less than the combined attack of its Materials and its defense is 2500 less than the combined defense of its materials. This Monster has the effects of all Psychic-Type Monsters it uses as materials.

 

So those are the boss monsters so it's all over, right. In a word, no. There's one last card, which adds a lot more sense to the Archetype. Because the point of these cards is that they stumble and bumble and act like morons while fighting for their lives...

 

You may equip this card to a "Shmeggege" xyz Monster. You may only control one copy of this card at once. End Phase: Gain Life Points equal to the number of life points you lost due to Battle or paid as a life-point cost for a "Shmeggege" Monster effect. If the damage was negated, you still gain life points. If the monster this card is equipped to is destroyed in battle, destroy all cards on your side of the field.

 

...You know, I was really tired when I made these (It took about half an hour to an hour to design, if you don't include the time spent picture-hunting), and I'm even more tired now, when I'm making the final edits and posting them. I have a feeling I'll regret posting this come morning...