2 Winged-Beast Monsters (Sample for a Set)

[KnightBuster]

These 2 cards are actually part of a set I'm working on, but I thought I'd put out a sample to 1.) test the waters and 2.) to see if I got the hang of the OCG. I don't know why the new OCG is hard for me to get... I honestly don't.



Lore: When you discard a WIND monster from your hand due to a Spell, Trap or Monster effect: You can (from your hand) Special Summon this card in face up Attack Position. Once per turn: You can pay 800 Life Points to discard 1 Spell Card from your hand.



Lore: When you discard a Spell Card from your hand due to a Spell, Trap or Monster effect: You can (from your hand) Special Summon this card in face up Attack Position. During your Standby Phase, if you control 3 or more WIND monsters: you gain 700 Life Points.

[Zazubat]

I like the idea behind these guys, but I sadly don't think either is very useful. Discarding Spell Cards, and as an effect, is very very few and far between. Unless you do it as a random card, or as just any card, these will be hard to get out, besides the first guy's effect. There may be a way to do massive spam if you do it right, but there're better ways to do so, and Winged Beast already has a way to spam with Harpies. If you wish to expand on this, I suggest you make some Spell Cards that can benefit from being sent to the Graveyard, but I do not wish for them to just be an easy way for any card to abuse them (like how Breakthrough Skill doesn't care if it is discarded that much). Mostly because of cards like Summoner Monk, you want to avoid this, along with some other cards as well.
 
OCG fix: Hover your cursor over the word(s) with the dotted lines to read my reasons for the fixes. Make sure to hover over more than one one word, as it might put the things I have to say together with the dotted lines (or view it with BBcode turned off, just copy and paste it and click the switch in the control pannel). I do not repeat if you have made the flaw more than once, instead will it be bold (if any). Anything in italic is simple typos (if any). Anything in red means that it is something that is missing and should be there, as well as dotted lines to explain my reasoning/ask why you may have forgotten (if any). Also, if you have the time, check out my OCG Thread.

 

[acronym='if you just say every kind of card effect, it is simpler just to use card effect. "due" isn't a word used post PSCT either']When you discard a WIND monster by a card effect:[/acronym] You can Special Summon this card [acronym='card's that start a chain don't have parentheses, also, the order you wrote it is wrong']from your hand[/acronym] in [acronym='You forgot the hyphen']face-up[/acronym] Attack Position. Once per turn: You can pay 800 Life Points[acronym='instead of saying "to" use the semi-colon instead']; discard[/acronym] 1 Spell Card from your hand.

 

Lore: When you discard a Spell Card by a card effect: You can Special Summon this card from your hand in face-up Attack Position. During your Standby Phase, if you control 3 or more WIND monsters: [acronym='the you isn't needed, only if you were to say "your opponent gains" would you need to say that, simply say "gain" instead.']Gain[/acronym] 700 Life Points.

[wightpower]

These images look really familiar but I can't place where I've seen them before. In any case, they look nice, and I'm always in favor of swans with pickelhaubes.

 

Anyway, onto an actual review, I'm guessing your upcoming archetype focuses on reacting to card effects that make you discard, which isn't something I run into a lot, so it's original in my book. I'm already growing fond of the player getting to Special Summon a host of these to the field as soon as they discard something else, and while these two don't have too much cohesion in their effects, I'm anticipating the other cards you'll be making for the archetype, and I expect future cards will make these work a lot better in concert. I don't think these two are under or overpowered, and I rather like the thought of a fast-paced winged-beast archetype of badass swan monsters.

 

As for the OCG, I agree with Zazubat's changes above. I think the way he worded the effects is perfectly accurate. These are both fine cards, and I'd like to see what more you have to add to this set in the future.

[KnightBuster]

Thanks for the corrections. I did make these cards as part of a set, so they do have support. But my major concern is that I don't want to make something terribly OP. Balance is kind of hard for me when I want to make something useful. This is on top of not knowing if the effects I come up with can be abused with other official cards (since I haven't played the game or collected cards for a good long while)