Cyber Tempest

[NaZgUly]

[URL=http://yugico.com/user/47987-worgen99/card/65262-Cyber_/261768-Cyber_Tempest][/URL]              
 

When this card destroys a monster: Inflict damage to your opponent equal to half the destroyed monster's ATK. When this card is destroyed: Inflict damage to your opponent equal to half this card's DEF.

 

  
 
This card is ANTY to :God,Fusion,Synchro and High leveled monsters.
 
Feel free to print and use in random decks.

 

[Zazubat]

If I gave a good review, click the "Like This" button (also for other people than the card maker). It helps me out in the Review Board.

Effect & Use: Well, holy god, this is a crazy card. Getting out anything from your Deck is a very powerful effect, and that gives this plenty of options. Not only can you bring out more of this guy, but also many many other crazy guys. It got extreamly high ATK, it got plenty of ways to get it out, since it isn't a "when this card is Tribute Summoned", you can use cards like Cost Down or Mausoleum of the Emperor to get it out, or Tribute Summon it with Photon Sanctuary (though you will only be able to SS LIGHT monsters during that turn, so unless you can keep them alive, it will be harder to use). On top of the crazy Summon from the Deck, it hasm nay other uses. As a Level 8 LIGHT Machine, that makes it very useful for both Machina and Rank 8 Decks like Photon Dragon and Super Defense Robot, and the insane burn when it dies, plus the attack burn is very powerful.

Design/Balance: I don't like the design on this guy at all. Bringing out any monster from the Deck is never never never a good idea, and while it is somewhat harder to actually use, it is still a bad design choice, because you didn't give it a cost or a special condition, and it is not when it is Tribute Summoned, but simply Normal Summoned. That said, you can fix these problems, and while I dislike having the SS from the Deck, it has been done much worse. I suggest taking it out though, and focusing on the other effects instead. I don't know if giving it a SS clause would be unbalanced, since it is a powerful monster. Now, the ATK should be lowered a bit, 3100 is not realistic on such a monster, putting it down to 2800 or so would be better, even if it doesn't have a SS clause.

Flavor/Image and Originality: The image makes most sense for the damage part I feel, the SS part I don't get, but it looks decent. It doesn't seem to have anything to do with the tempests at all though. Maybe change it to Cyber Energy Blaster or something like that. It isn't that original either, damage when destroying isn't anything new, nor is Deck Special Summoning.

Overall: Needs major fixing. I would be alright hadn't it been for the Deck SS, but the rest is still poweful. It doens't have an SS clause, and if you wish to keep it that way, fine by me, but the Deck thing needs to go.

OCG fix: Hover your cursor over the word(s) with the dotted lines to read my reasons for the fixes. Make sure to hover over more than one one word, as it might put the things I have to say together with the dotted lines. You might be able to see a more bold dot where it changes. Either that or you can view it with BBcode turned off, just copy and paste it and click the switch in the control pannel. I do not repeat if you have made the flaw more than once, instead will it be bold (if any). Anything in italic is simple typos (if any). Anything in red means that it is something that is missing and should be there, as well as dotted lines to explain my reasoning/ask why you may have forgotten (if any). Also, if you have the time, check out my OCG Thread.

 

When this card is [acronym='Normal Summoned is always capitalized']Normal Summoned[/acronym][acronym='Since you have a condition, that being it being Normal Summoned, you must have a colon afterwards']: You[/acronym] can [acronym='Again, you must capitalize this ']Special Summon[/acronym] [acronym='It is 1, because it is 1 specific card']1[/acronym] monster from your [acronym='Deck is always capitalized, also, the last part is not needed']Deck.[/acronym] When this card destroys a monster: Inflict damage [acronym='written like most other cards that do this, such as "Mighty Warrior"']to your opponent equal to half the destroyed monster's ATK.[/acronym] When this card is destroyed: Inflict damage to your opponent [acronym='Again, write it more like this']equal to half this card's DEF.[/acronym]

[NaZgUly]

thx ;D..yeah and the name i think its perfect but i will fix the OCG and effect like 4 star monster or something  like that.;)

[NaZgUly]

If I gave a good review, click the "Like This" button (also for other people than the card maker). It helps me out in the Review Board.

Effect & Use: Well, holy god, this is a crazy card. Getting out anything from your Deck is a very powerful effect, and that gives this plenty of options. Not only can you bring out more of this guy, but also many many other crazy guys. It got extreamly high ATK, it got plenty of ways to get it out, since it isn't a "when this card is Tribute Summoned", you can use cards like Cost Down or Mausoleum of the Emperor to get it out, or Tribute Summon it with Photon Sanctuary (though you will only be able to SS LIGHT monsters during that turn, so unless you can keep them alive, it will be harder to use). On top of the crazy Summon from the Deck, it hasm nay other uses. As a Level 8 LIGHT Machine, that makes it very useful for both Machina and Rank 8 Decks like Photon Dragon and Super Defense Robot, and the insane burn when it dies, plus the attack burn is very powerful.

Design/Balance: I don't like the design on this guy at all. Bringing out any monster from the Deck is never never never a good idea, and while it is somewhat harder to actually use, it is still a bad design choice, because you didn't give it a cost or a special condition, and it is not when it is Tribute Summoned, but simply Normal Summoned. That said, you can fix these problems, and while I dislike having the SS from the Deck, it has been done much worse. I suggest taking it out though, and focusing on the other effects instead. I don't know if giving it a SS clause would be unbalanced, since it is a powerful monster. Now, the ATK should be lowered a bit, 3100 is not realistic on such a monster, putting it down to 2800 or so would be better, even if it doesn't have a SS clause.

Flavor/Image and Originality: The image makes most sense for the damage part I feel, the SS part I don't get, but it looks decent. It doesn't seem to have anything to do with the tempests at all though. Maybe change it to Cyber Energy Blaster or something like that. It isn't that original either, damage when destroying isn't anything new, nor is Deck Special Summoning.

Overall: Needs major fixing. I would be alright hadn't it been for the Deck SS, but the rest is still poweful. It doens't have an SS clause, and if you wish to keep it that way, fine by me, but the Deck thing needs to go.

OCG fix: Hover your cursor over the word(s) with the dotted lines to read my reasons for the fixes. Make sure to hover over more than one one word, as it might put the things I have to say together with the dotted lines. You might be able to see a more bold dot where it changes. Either that or you can view it with BBcode turned off, just copy and paste it and click the switch in the control pannel. I do not repeat if you have made the flaw more than once, instead will it be bold (if any). Anything in italic is simple typos (if any). Anything in red means that it is something that is missing and should be there, as well as dotted lines to explain my reasoning/ask why you may have forgotten (if any). Also, if you have the time, check out my OCG Thread.

 

When this card is [acronym='Normal Summoned is always capitalized']Normal Summoned[/acronym][acronym='Since you have a condition, that being it being Normal Summoned, you must have a colon afterwards']: You[/acronym] can [acronym='Again, you must capitalize this ']Special Summon[/acronym] [acronym='It is 1, because it is 1 specific card']1[/acronym] monster from your [acronym='Deck is always capitalized, also, the last part is not needed']Deck.[/acronym] When this card destroys a monster: Inflict damage [acronym='written like most other cards that do this, such as "Mighty Warrior"']to your opponent equal to half the destroyed monster's ATK.[/acronym] When this card is destroyed: Inflict damage to your opponent [acronym='Again, write it more like this']equal to half this card's DEF.[/acronym]

i fixed it ;D

[Zazubat]

Oh, I must have forgotten something in the fix, it is suppose to be: "When this card destroys a monster by battle" not just destroy, so change that part. Anyway, the card seems decent now.

[NaZgUly]

thx :D