2 Yu-Gi-Oh Cards i made

[dgerr123]

Okay, today i am here to show you 2 cards i have made, 
 
This is the first one, this is actually the first card maker card i have ever made, Please leave some criticism on it if you may?

This is another one i made... Any criticism would be good thank you!
Its in need of a card image ... But ill get to that later... Ciao!

[dgerr123]

Bumpelybump

[BoricuaBeast]

Would be nicer if the beaver warrior just had piercing like enraged battle ox, or something like it gaining ATK for the beast-warriors in your grave or something. Chances of it destroying any beast monster with those stats are slim. Liking the concept though.
The Fusion: Major OCG error, but I get the message. Would like for it to have a pic tho.
Correct lore:
Original ATK & DEF = 0
"Once per turn, when this card is selected as an attack target, you can select 1 monster your opponent controls, except the attacking monster: This card's ATK & DEF become equal to the current ATK & DEF of the selected monster. If this monster would be destroyed by battle, destroy the selected monster instead."

[dgerr123]

Would be nicer if the beaver warrior just had piercing like enraged battle ox, or something like it gaining ATK for the beast-warriors in your grave or something. Chances of it destroying any beast monster with those stats are slim. Liking the concept though.
The Fusion: Major OCG error, but I get the message. Would like for it to have a pic tho.
Correct lore:
Original ATK & DEF = 0
"Once per turn, when this card is selected as an attack target, you can select 1 monster your opponent controls, except the attacking monster: This card's ATK & DEF become equal to the current ATK & DEF of the selected monster. If this monster would be destroyed by battle, destroy the selected monster instead."

Thanks for the criticism, but whats wrong with the OCG?

[dgerr123]

Bumpelybump Again

[burakyilan1]

Thanks for the criticism, but whats wrong with the OCG?

"Opponent" is used instead of "enemy"

"becomes equal to" would be better than "is now"

Also the text "original ATK & DEF" or "current ATK & DEF" would help clear confusion.

 

Also like  BoricuaBeast mentioned, the chances of your opponent having Beast-type monsters is very low and the chance of it destroying an opponents monster is even lower. Instead it could gain ATK for each Beast monster you control or in your graveyard or for every monster it destroys(not just beast).

 

And I must add, I loved the artwork.

[dgerr123]

"Opponent" is used instead of "enemy"

"becomes equal to" would be better than "is now"

Also the text "original ATK & DEF" or "current ATK & DEF" would help clear confusion.

 

Also like  BoricuaBeast mentioned, the chances of your opponent having Beast-type monsters is very low and the chance of it destroying an opponents monster is even lower. Instead it could gain ATK for each Beast monster you control or in your graveyard or for every monster it destroys(not just beast).

 

And I must add, I loved the artwork.

What about i start building a deck... or a whole enraged archetype about control switching which is also beast? To make use of it and to make a whole pretty unused mechanic used?

[dgerr123]

and also... BUMP

[dgerr123]

Bump

[dgerr123]

Bump

[dgerr123]

Bump

[Darthakin]

Dgerr, you need to STOP with constantly bumping. It's annoying as hell. 

I like the two cards, but you need to post copyman's lore. 

enraged beaver warrior lore should be: "This card gains 400 attack points for each "Beast" Type monster it destroys by battle"

mirroman:    Copycat + The Tricky.

"If this card is targeted by a monster for an attack, you can target one monster except the attacking monster, and change this card's attack and deffense equal to the targeted monster's attack and defence.

[dgerr123]

Dgerr, you need to STOP with constantly bumping. It's annoying as hell. 

I like the two cards, but you need to post copyman's lore. 

enraged beaver warrior lore should be: "This card gains 400 attack points for each "Beast" Type monster it destroys by battle"

mirroman:    Copycat + The Tricky.

"If this card is targeted by a monster for an attack, you can target one monster except the attacking monster, and change this card's attack and deffense equal to the targeted monster's attack and defence.

The problem is that the now your grammar is wrong to... Well... Ill try to fix it i guess... and by the way
BUMP! MEHEHEHEHEHHHHHHH

[Darthakin]

You're gonna get a warning if you keep doing that... 

I think....

[dandandalaxy]

Well everyone before me has covered everything and I've never done a review before. Mirror Man's quite strong it has a nice effect and tell me what type of image your looking for I could probably find one. But this card could become too strong if the opponent (not enemy like the other guy said) had a really powerful monster. But it would easily go down with moves like 'Fissure' and 'Smashing Ground' depending on its ATK and DEF.

 

You forgot the full stop for enraged beast warrior in its effect. Your Enraged Beast Warrior could become really strong especially against a crystal beast deck or any other beast type deck. 

 

Overall these cards are kinda awesome and soon you could be making really good cards and that archetype you're thinking of, it will probably work!