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1 New Card Plus Revised Card


yopppsss

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Hello All! Today I will Be Hitting You Up With A Brand New Card And A Revised Battered Ultimate Soldier! Give Me ANY Thoughts You May Have Or Any OCG Fixes. Battered Ultimate Soldier I have COMPLETELY Changed The Effect And Stats, I Still Am Unsure If He Is Complete Or Not. Broken Ultimate Guardian Of Kalon I Have Not Posted At All Yet But Have Revised The Effect At Least Three Times. So Enjoy!

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Hey, me again :)
The first one has a much better effect from before. However, it's OCG (Official Card Grammar) is wrong. This would look better:
"If this card is destroyed by an opponent's card effect or destroyed by battle with a Machine-type monster and sent to the Graveyard, you can send the top card of your opponent's deck to the Graveyard.

As for the fusion: Horribly underpowered, and the double-type thing in the stats section is a big no-no.
This would be more proper:
Type: Machine/Fusion/Effect
Effect Lore: "While this card is on the field, it is also treated as Beast-type. Once per turn, you can discard 1 card and flip a coin. The following effect(s) will be applied based on the result:
*Heads: Inflict 1000 damage to your opponent. This card cannot attack the turn you use this effect.
*Tails: Destroy 1 card you control.
If this card is destroyed by an opponent's card effect and sent to the Graveyard, you can return this card to the deck, then send the top card of your opponent's deck to the Graveyard."

Note: I based the coin flip effect on one of the materials effect.

And yeah, don't forget to post your card's lore (effect text) next time. Not everyone can read that

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Thanks For The Heads Up I Will Post The Lore Next Time. I Will Fix The OCG On The First Card Right Away. I Love The Idea For The Second Card! It Was Still In The Works And Originally Was A Flip Type Monster But Couldnt Think Of A Flip Effect That Would Work Well. Your Flip Effect Will Work Great! Thanks!

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Strictly speaking Broken Ultimate Guardian of Kalon should be returned to the Extra Deck and not the regular deck. Otherwise the concepts are fun, though you really need to look at other (genuine) cards in order to learn the proper Card Game Grammar, just like BoricuaBeast said.

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Thanks For The Heads Up I Will Post The Lore Next Time. I Will Fix The OCG On The First Card Right Away. I Love The Idea For The Second Card! It Was Still In The Works And Originally Was A Flip Type Monster But Couldnt Think Of A Flip Effect That Would Work Well. Your Flip Effect Will Work Great! Thanks!

Hello... Don't capitalize every single word of a sentence... And also... The soldier should have "Opponent" instead of enemy!

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