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Sabre Toothed Tiger (My First Card)


dandandalaxy3

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Well, this is my first (published) card. I'm new to this forum and I've almost finished reading the rules so sorry if I broke one of the rules. :(
Anyway this is the card:

deYTIqo.jpg

Lore:
3 Level 5 Monsters
Once per turn, you can detach one material from this card, Special Summon 1 level 5 or lower monster from your Graveyard. That monster cannot attack your opponent directly and it's effect is negated. Once per duel, you can detach one material from this card, Special Summon 1 level 5 or lower monster from your Hand, Deck or Graveyard. That monster cannot attack your opponent directly.
 
I'm trying to make a 'Tiger' set which is based on 'Tiger' xyz monsters. I've made about 5 tiger monsters already and this is the first one that I'm publishing. I will probably publish the whole set soon (5 weeks at the latest).
All criticism accepted and I know that the OCG isn't perfect I'm not the best at that. I don't know which words your supposed to capitalize.
Thank you for looking at my first card!
 
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Yes you can bomp after 24 hours.

 

Before:
3 Level 5 Monsters
Once per turn, you can detach one material from this card, Special Summon 1 level 5 or lower monster from your Graveyard. That monster cannot attack your opponent directly and it's effect is negated. Once per duel, you can detach one material from this card, Special Summon 1 level 5 or lower monster from your Hand, Deck or Graveyard. That monster cannot attack your opponent directly.
 
Ocg Fixes:
3 Level 5 Monsters
Once per turn: you can detach one material from this card; Special Summon 1 level 5 or lower monster from your Graveyard, that monster cannot attack your opponent directly and it's effect is negated. Once per duel: you can detach one material from this card; special Summon 1 level 5 or lower monster from your Hand, Deck or Graveyard, that monster cannot attack your opponent directly.

 

What I Would Change:

3 Level 5 Monsters
Once per turn: you can detach one material from this card; Special Summon 1 level 5 or lower monster from your Graveyard, that monster cannot attack your opponent directly and it's effect is negated. Once per duel: you can detach one material from this card; special Summon 1 level 5 or lower monster from your Hand, Deck or Graveyard, that monster can attack your opponent directly.
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Minor OCG fix:

 

3 Level 5 Monsters
Once per turn, you can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card, Special Summon 1 level 5 or lower monster from your Graveyard, it cannot attack your opponent directly and it's effect is negated. Once per duel, you can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card, Special Summon 1 level 5 or lower monster from your Hand, Deck or Graveyard. That monster cannot attack your opponent directly.

 

My one problem with this effect is the swarm capacity. Because of the wording, you can activate both effects in the same turn, so you could, by getting 2 Level 4s, get a cheap Utopia off this - or even, if you already have 1 Level 5 on the field, you could get a second "Sabre-toothed Tiger" off it!  With 2600 ATK I think that's quite a punishing effect. Although I do realise I have a habit of over-restricting everything, I will say that I would advise making the following changes to the effect:

 

3 Level 5 Monsters
You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card, Special Summon 1 level 5 or lower monster from your Graveyard, it cannot attack your opponent directly and it's effect is negated. Once per duel, you can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card, Special Summon 1 level 5 or lower monster from your Hand, Deck or Graveyard. That monster cannot attack your opponent directly. You can only activate 1 effect of "Sabre-toothed Tiger" per turn, and only once that turn.
 

I would also personally add some extra cost due to the +1 you're getting off this summon (for example, a discard, so you get +0 instead), but that's probably just me. The ATK & DEF seem quite decent for a 3-Level-5s Xyz.

 

Other than that, this seems a very neat idea, and I can't wait to see more of these [brilliant "Tiger" cards]!

 

A note on any "Tiger" support you make: Just bear in mind that it will support cards like "Amazoness Tiger" and "Photon Sabre Tiger".

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