Brinolovania Posted June 9, 2014 Report Share Posted June 9, 2014 I felt sudden inspiration, so I updated a set I made back in 2011. I probably messed up some of the OCG, but whatever. Oh, the names don't mean anything. They're just random stuff I came up with 3 years ago. [spoiler=Monsters] [spoiler=Lore] If this banished card is returned to your Graveyard: You can target one level 4 or lower monster your opponent controls; take control of that target until the End Phase. It's effects are negated and it cannot attack. Each player can only use the effect of "Otherworld Phantom - Azral" once per Duel. (Fun fact: I designed this card, which is a blue ghost thing named Azral from another world, before Zexal was announced. I'm psychic) [/spoiler] [spoiler=Lore] When this card is Normal Summoned: You can banish 1 "Otherworld Phantom" monster from your deck. That monster cannot be returned to the Graveyard during the turn this effect is activated. You can target one of your banished "Otherworld" monsters; return that target to the Graveyard. This effect of "Otherworld Phantom - Rectalin" can only be used once per turn. [/spoiler] [spoiler=Lore] If this banished card is returned to your Graveyard: You can target 1 monster your opponent controls; destroy that target. [/spoiler] [spoiler=Lore] If this banished card is returned to your Graveyard: You can target one Spell/Trap card your opponent controls; destroy that target. (Fun fact: I had to change this card's name when I updated it. It's original name was Pzanrt. I don't know how I thought that was pronounceable) [/spoiler] [spoiler=Lore] Can only be used for the Synchro Summon of an "Otherworld Demon" monster. You can banish this card and one "Otherworld Phantom" monster in your Graveyard; Special Summon an "Otherworld Demon" Synchro monster from your Extra Deck whose level is equal to the combined levels of the banished monsters (this Special Summon is treated as a Synchro Summon). Once per turn: you can increase this card's level by 1, until the End Phase. [/spoiler] [spoiler=Lore] If this banished card is returned to your Graveyard: you can target one of your banished "Otherworld Phantom" monsters; Special Summon that target. It's effects are negated and it is destroyed during the End Phase. You can only activate the effect of "Otherworld Phantom - Nizaryt" once per turn. [/spoiler] [/spoiler] [spoiler=Synchros] [spoiler=Lore] "Otherworld Phantom - Juzarech"+1 or more non-tuner monsters When this card is Synchro Summoned: target one of your banished "Otherworld" monsters; return that target to the Graveyard. Once per turn: you can discard one card and target one "Otherworld" monster in your Graveyard; Special Summon that target, and if you do, banish this card. If this card is banished in this way: return it to the Graveyard during the End Phase. When this banished card is returned to the graveyard: draw 1 card. You can only activate each effect of "Otherworld Demon - Delwerz" once per turn. [/spoiler] [spoiler=Lore] "Otherworld Phantom - Juzarech"+1 or more non-tuner monsters When this card is Special Summoned: Target 1 "Otherworld" monster in your Graveyard; Special Summon that target. If this card would be sent to the Graveyard, it is banished instead. When this banished card is returned to the Graveyard: Special Summon this card. You can only activate each effect of "Otherworld Demon - Unritar" once per turn. [/spoiler] [/spoiler] [spoiler=Spells and Traps] [spoiler=Lore] Target one "Otherworld Phantom" monster in your Graveyard, and one that is banished; the first target is banished, and the second is returned to your Graveyard. [/spoiler] [spoiler=Lore] Send one "Otherworld Phantom" monster from your Deck to the Graveyard, and return one of your banished "Otherworld Phantom" monsters to your Graveyard. [/spoiler] [spoiler=Lore] Target one of your banished "Otherworld" monsters; return it to your Graveyard. You can only activate one "Otherworldly Portal" per turn. [/spoiler] [/spoiler] [spoiler=Changes] 6/9/14 -Fixes to several OPT clauses -"Destroy during EP" clause added to Nizaryt -Stat changes -Various OCG fixes [/spoiler] So yeah, CnC pl0x. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Stomper Posted June 9, 2014 Report Share Posted June 9, 2014 Nice cards - I'll go one at a time and go through syntax/grammar issues as well. Azral should read as follows. Also, it's not OP, so it can be a once-per-turn thing - Once per turn, if this banished card is returned to the Graveyard, you can activate this card's effect to Target 1 Level 4 or lower monster your opponent controls; take control of that Target until the End Phase. It cannot declare an attack and its effects are Negated. Rectalin is good. How about - When this card is Normal Summoned: You can banish 1 "Otherworld Phantom" monster from your deck, face-up. Once per turn, you can Target one of your banished "Otherworld" monsters, except a monster Banished this turn by the effects of "Otherworld Phantom - Rectalin"; return that target to the Graveyard. Evagela is good but it is lacking in terms of power for its effect. Try giving it 900/1700 ATK/DEF. If this banished card is returned to your Graveyard, you can target 1 monster your opponent controls; destroy that target. Parznat has a cool effect, but should probably have 800 DEF. I don't know why, but it would just seem more legitimate to me. If this banished card is returned to your Graveyard, you can target on Spell/Trap card your opponent controls; destroy that target. Juzarech is interesting, though I think this effect is clearer - If this card is used in a Synchro Summon, the other Synchro Material Monsters are "Otherworld Phantom" monsters in your Graveyard, also Banish all monsters used as Synchro Material Monsters in that Synchro Summon. Once per turn, you can increase this card's level by 1 until the End Phase. Ooh a little girl! Nizaryt is also cool. Once per turn, if this banished card is returned to your Graveyard, you can target one of your banished "Otherworld Phantom" monsters; Special Summon that target. Its effects are negated, also, it is Banished during the End Phase. Also, "Unlimited Edition" doesn't exist :P so maybe leave it blank? The reason I changed the syntax is because the way you had it set up, the opponent could not use the effects if it were a mirror match. I was also thinking that perhaps you should add an effect of "When this card is banished by your opponent's card effect", in the following way: Evagela: If this banished card is returned to your Graveyard, you can target 1 monster your opponent controls; destroy that target. When this card is banished by your opponent's card effect, Draw 1 card. Parznat: If this banished card is returned to your Graveyard, you can target on Spell/Trap card your opponent controls; destroy that target. When this card is banished by your opponent's card effect, they must discard 1 card. Think about it man :) EDIT: THE OTHER CARDS! Delwerz: "Otherworld Phantom - Juzarech" + 1 or more non-Tuner monsters When this card is Synchro Summoned: Target one of your banished "Otherworld" monsters; return that Target to the Graveyard. Once per turn you can discard one card to target one "Otherworld" monster in your Graveyard; Special Summon that target, and if you do, banish this card. If this card is banished by its own effect: return it to the Graveyard during the End Phase. When this banished card is returned to the graveyard: draw 1 card. Each effect of "Otherworld Demon - Delwerz" can only be activated once per turn. "Otherworld Phantom - Juzarech" + 1 or more non-Tuner monsters When this card is Special Summoned: Target 1 "Otherworld" monster in your Graveyard; Special Summon that target. If this card would be sent to the Graveyard, it is banished instead. When this banished card is returned to the Graveyard: Special Summon this card. Each effect of "Otherworld Demon - Unritar" can only be activated once per turn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brinolovania Posted June 9, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 9, 2014 [spoiler=Responses in bold] Nice cards - I'll go one at a time and go through syntax/grammar issues as well. Azral should read as follows. Also, it's not OP, so it can be a once-per-turn thing - Once per turn, if this banished card is returned to the Graveyard, you can activate this card's effect to Target 1 Level 4 or lower monster your opponent controls; take control of that Target until the End Phase. It cannot declare an attack and its effects are Negated. Thing is, he's basically a free Mind Control. Although I suppose it only targets level 4 or lower stuff...I'm not sure about changing it, I might later. I'm also not sure that your grammar correction is totally accurate. I know it needs a : in there somewhere, and "target" and "negated" don't get capitalized. Rectalin is good. How about - When this card is Normal Summoned: You can banish 1 "Otherworld Phantom" monster from your deck, face-up. Once per turn, you can Target one of your banished "Otherworld" monsters, except a monster Banished this turn by the effects of "Otherworld Phantom - Rectalin"; return that target to the Graveyard. See above. Face-up isn't needed, banished isn't capitalized. Evagela is good but it is lacking in terms of power for its effect. Try giving it 900/1700 ATK/DEF. If this banished card is returned to your Graveyard, you can target 1 monster your opponent controls; destroy that target. I guess I could bump up her DEF a bit, but she doesn't really need big stats. Her entire purpose is to blow up monsters, not attack them. Parznat has a cool effect, but should probably have 800 DEF. I don't know why, but it would just seem more legitimate to me. If this banished card is returned to your Graveyard, you can target on Spell/Trap card your opponent controls; destroy that target. But, but, he's the only one of the main deck monsters who has decent stats! I'll change it, though. Juzarech is interesting, though I think this effect is clearer - If this card is used in a Synchro Summon, the other Synchro Material Monsters are "Otherworld Phantom" monsters in your Graveyard, also Banish all monsters used as Synchro Material Monsters in that Synchro Summon. Once per turn, you can increase this card's level by 1 until the End Phase. The wording I used is intentional so that you don't HAVE to use his effect, and you can synchro normally with him. Ooh a little girl! Nizaryt is also cool. Once per turn, if this banished card is returned to your Graveyard, you can target one of your banished "Otherworld Phantom" monsters; Special Summon that target. Its effects are negated, also, it is Banished during the End Phase. A "banished during the End Phase" clause doesn't make that much sense to me 'cause it'll just set up the thing you summon to get it's effect off. Destroyed during the End Phase sounds good, though. Also, "Unlimited Edition" doesn't exist :P so maybe leave it blank? IDK what I was doing with that...w/e, too lazy to change. The reason I changed the syntax is because the way you had it set up, the opponent could not use the effects if it were a mirror match. I was also thinking that perhaps you should add an effect of "When this card is banished by your opponent's card effect", in the following way: True. I'll change it to "You can only use the effect of "X" once per turn (The "Once per turn, you can..." syntax lets you use multiple copies of the card in one turn, which I don't want on some of them) Evagela: If this banished card is returned to your Graveyard, you can target 1 monster your opponent controls; destroy that target. When this card is banished by your opponent's card effect, Draw 1 card. Parznat: If this banished card is returned to your Graveyard, you can target on Spell/Trap card your opponent controls; destroy that target. When this card is banished by your opponent's card effect, they must discard 1 card. Think about it man :) Hm...I dunno. It'd be pretty pointless, because any intelligent opponent wouldn't be banishing your monsters for you. I might try it later though, at least on Evagella and Parznat 'cause their effects are pretty bland. EDIT: THE OTHER CARDS! Delwerz: "Otherworld Phantom - Juzarech" + 1 or more non-Tuner monsters When this card is Synchro Summoned: Target one of your banished "Otherworld" monsters; return that Target to the Graveyard. Once per turn you can discard one card to target one "Otherworld" monster in your Graveyard; Special Summon that target, and if you do, banish this card. If this card is banished by its own effect: return it to the Graveyard during the End Phase. When this banished card is returned to the graveyard: draw 1 card. Each effect of "Otherworld Demon - Delwerz" can only be activated once per turn. "Otherworld Phantom - Juzarech" + 1 or more non-Tuner monsters When this card is Special Summoned: Target 1 "Otherworld" monster in your Graveyard; Special Summon that target. If this card would be sent to the Graveyard, it is banished instead. When this banished card is returned to the Graveyard: Special Summon this card. Each effect of "Otherworld Demon - Unritar" can only be activated once per turn. I'm assuming you didn't finish commenting on these? [/spoiler] Thanks for the feedback :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brinolovania Posted June 10, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2014 Bump. And here I thought the cardmaking sections were still quite active? Looking around here more, I guess I just thought that 'cause I never visit this area of the site. Also, I might update a couple cards tomorrow. Some of the effects are really bland (Evagella and Parznat especially). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brinolovania Posted June 11, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 11, 2014 Bumpity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Stomper Posted June 11, 2014 Report Share Posted June 11, 2014 That's mass-bump. :P not okay bro - try adding some changes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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