Absolute Light (Revisited)

[GoldenTide]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[krakonfour]

This will take an extremely long time, but I'll try anyway:

 

First of all: The art is pretty bad. It looks like someone took the time to paint it, but it has nothing to do on a card game. People fall asleep looking at these sorts of things printed onto their grandmother's tea-sets. 

 

Absolute Light Child: It's not even a tuner. Poor thing.

 

Absolute Light Distress: Heavily broken. It does what Nurse Reticule does, but with an entire archetype behind it, sitting on 2000 ATK and lets you gain life points on top of that. AND IT HAS ZERO DEF. You know what likes 0 DEF? Masked Chameleon for instant level 8 syncros.

 

Absolute Light Dreamer: Really? You gain 5000 just for banishing one Absolute Light from your grave? Normal summon Distress, then Special Summon this card, and you've just widened the LP gap by 6000. With a 6000 point difference, I can turn Ancient Sacred Wyvern into an OTK monster. 

 

Ancient Light Fear: Why? It has 2400 DEF, which is massively strong, but you add a clause where it can't attack... in a monster with 0 ATK?

 

Ancient Light Flowerbed: Bad card. You exchange a tribute for 1000 lifepoints and 2400 ATK. This archetype simple doesn't support tribute summons, so it's always going to be a -1. Plus, once it's on the field for the dubious advantage of 1000 LP, it just doesn't do anything. It's a vanilla beater waiting to be destroyed. You can't even special summon it back. 

 

 

Absolute Light Innocence: Gain 1000, then pay 2000. That's basically pay 1000 to get three monsters out of the deck. It's an Agent Venus like effect, except you can use it as many times per turn as you want. The only thing limiting this card is that it doesn't revive the "Children" from the Grave. But that's okay, because you've just made yourself a Number 54: Lion Heart. Right? That's what I'd make with three level 1's and an archetype that burns through your opponent's lifepoints with mnster card effects. 

 

Absolute Light Lilac, or Absolute Light Easy Card Advantage. You search any Absolute Light card from your deck when you gain life points.... which is basically every time an Absolute Light monster is summoned, including Lilac itself. In fact, you can use this card and Light Spring for an instant 3 material Rank 8 monster... or a 12800 DMG OTK... then search Dreamer with the last Spring summoned.... you get it. Completely broken.

 

Absolute Light Marriage: This card comes to you from the producers of Four Weddings and Little House on the Prairie. It's not BAD, it's just... average. It'll do for a level 4 tuner.

 

Absolute Light Mermaid: Absolutely useless. The number of FIRE monsters worth playing this card against is nil, and with 1500 ATK, the only archetype which suffers from it (Fire Fists/Kings) just walk right over it. 

 

Absolute Light Moonlight: No. I am not giving up TWO MONSTERS for 2000 lifepoints and 2800 atk. Look at Light and Darkness Dragon. Look at this card. No. 

 

Absolute Light Kaiser Sea Horse is not played Today for a reason. 

 

Absolute Light Peace: WHY. Seriously, you are intentionally making people look at your deck and say: that three card combo can OTK in one turn, any turn, the rest is horrendous crap that's there t fill in 40 cards. Peace is level 2, does a bit of healing, which no-one cares about these days in the face of actually destroying your opponent's cards and stopping their plays, and stops you from attacking. It's extremely strong and yet does nothing. 

 

Ansolute Light Porter: A pretty bad searcher.... and the cards it adds are worthless. 

 

Absolute Light Spring: One of the few non-crap cards of the archetype, that's actually.... horrendously broken in the archetype. There's that combo with Lilac that summons all 3 of them in the first turn, there's that thing where it has 8 levels but 3500 ATK (Blue Eyes White Dragon is crying) and there's that other thing where it does nothing on the field except sit around as a vanilla beater. It's boring, it's broken and it doesn't follow any of the card creation guidelines. 

 

Absolute Light Timekeeper: Umm. I'm not sure about the wording. Is it 2 turns from the moment this card is summoned, or two turns from the moment the DARK monster is summoned, and it's an effect that is applied for the rest of the Duel?

 

Absolute Light Waterfall: A Vanilla level 4 tuner is better. This one has low attack and can't be used for an XYZ summon.

 

I'll do the rest another time.

[GoldenTide]

This will take an extremely long time, but I'll try anyway:

 

First of all: The art is pretty bad. It looks like someone took the time to paint it, but it has nothing to do on a card game. People fall asleep looking at these sorts of things printed onto their grandmother's tea-sets. 

 

Absolute Light Child: It's not even a tuner. Poor thing.

 

Absolute Light Distress: Heavily broken. It does what Nurse Reticule does, but with an entire archetype behind it, sitting on 2000 ATK and lets you gain life points on top of that. AND IT HAS ZERO DEF. You know what likes 0 DEF? Masked Chameleon for instant level 8 syncros.

 

Absolute Light Dreamer: Really? You gain 5000 just for banishing one Absolute Light from your grave? Normal summon Distress, then Special Summon this card, and you've just widened the LP gap by 6000. With a 6000 point difference, I can turn Ancient Sacred Wyvern into an OTK monster. 

 

Ancient Light Fear: Why? It has 2400 DEF, which is massively strong, but you add a clause where it can't attack... in a monster with 0 ATK?

 

Ancient Light Flowerbed: Bad card. You exchange a tribute for 1000 lifepoints and 2400 ATK. This archetype simple doesn't support tribute summons, so it's always going to be a -1. Plus, once it's on the field for the dubious advantage of 1000 LP, it just doesn't do anything. It's a vanilla beater waiting to be destroyed. You can't even special summon it back. 

 

 

Absolute Light Innocence: Gain 1000, then pay 2000. That's basically pay 1000 to get three monsters out of the deck. It's an Agent Venus like effect, except you can use it as many times per turn as you want. The only thing limiting this card is that it doesn't revive the "Children" from the Grave. But that's okay, because you've just made yourself a Number 54: Lion Heart. Right? That's what I'd make with three level 1's and an archetype that burns through your opponent's lifepoints with mnster card effects. 

 

Absolute Light Lilac, or Absolute Light Easy Card Advantage. You search any Absolute Light card from your deck when you gain life points.... which is basically every time an Absolute Light monster is summoned, including Lilac itself. In fact, you can use this card and Light Spring for an instant 3 material Rank 8 monster... or a 12800 DMG OTK... then search Dreamer with the last Spring summoned.... you get it. Completely broken.

 

Absolute Light Marriage: This card comes to you from the producers of Four Weddings and Little House on the Prairie. It's not BAD, it's just... average. It'll do for a level 4 tuner.

 

Absolute Light Mermaid: Absolutely useless. The number of FIRE monsters worth playing this card against is nil, and with 1500 ATK, the only archetype which suffers from it (Fire Fists/Kings) just walk right over it. 

 

Absolute Light Moonlight: No. I am not giving up TWO MONSTERS for 2000 lifepoints and 2800 atk. Look at Light and Darkness Dragon. Look at this card. No. 

 

Absolute Light Kaiser Sea Horse is not played Today for a reason. 

 

Absolute Light Peace: WHY. Seriously, you are intentionally making people look at your deck and say: that three card combo can OTK in one turn, any turn, the rest is horrendous crap that's there t fill in 40 cards. Peace is level 2, does a bit of healing, which no-one cares about these days in the face of actually destroying your opponent's cards and stopping their plays, and stops you from attacking. It's extremely strong and yet does nothing. 

 

Ansolute Light Porter: A pretty bad searcher.... and the cards it adds are worthless. 

 

Absolute Light Spring: One of the few non-crap cards of the archetype, that's actually.... horrendously broken in the archetype. There's that combo with Lilac that summons all 3 of them in the first turn, there's that thing where it has 8 levels but 3500 ATK (Blue Eyes White Dragon is crying) and there's that other thing where it does nothing on the field except sit around as a vanilla beater. It's boring, it's broken and it doesn't follow any of the card creation guidelines. 

 

Absolute Light Timekeeper: Umm. I'm not sure about the wording. Is it 2 turns from the moment this card is summoned, or two turns from the moment the DARK monster is summoned, and it's an effect that is applied for the rest of the Duel?

 

Absolute Light Waterfall: A Vanilla level 4 tuner is better. This one has low attack and can't be used for an XYZ summon.

 

I'll do the rest another time.

 

This will take an extremely long time, but I'll try anyway:

 

First of all: The art is pretty bad. It looks like someone took the time to paint it, but it has nothing to do on a card game. People fall asleep looking at these sorts of things printed onto their grandmother's tea-sets. 

 

Absolute Light Child: It's not even a tuner. Poor thing.

 

Absolute Light Distress: Heavily broken. It does what Nurse Reticule does, but with an entire archetype behind it, sitting on 2000 ATK and lets you gain life points on top of that. AND IT HAS ZERO DEF. You know what likes 0 DEF? Masked Chameleon for instant level 8 syncros.

 

Absolute Light Dreamer: Really? You gain 5000 just for banishing one Absolute Light from your grave? Normal summon Distress, then Special Summon this card, and you've just widened the LP gap by 6000. With a 6000 point difference, I can turn Ancient Sacred Wyvern into an OTK monster. 

 

Ancient Light Fear: Why? It has 2400 DEF, which is massively strong, but you add a clause where it can't attack... in a monster with 0 ATK?

 

Ancient Light Flowerbed: Bad card. You exchange a tribute for 1000 lifepoints and 2400 ATK. This archetype simple doesn't support tribute summons, so it's always going to be a -1. Plus, once it's on the field for the dubious advantage of 1000 LP, it just doesn't do anything. It's a vanilla beater waiting to be destroyed. You can't even special summon it back. 

 

 

Absolute Light Innocence: Gain 1000, then pay 2000. That's basically pay 1000 to get three monsters out of the deck. It's an Agent Venus like effect, except you can use it as many times per turn as you want. The only thing limiting this card is that it doesn't revive the "Children" from the Grave. But that's okay, because you've just made yourself a Number 54: Lion Heart. Right? That's what I'd make with three level 1's and an archetype that burns through your opponent's lifepoints with mnster card effects. 

 

Absolute Light Lilac, or Absolute Light Easy Card Advantage. You search any Absolute Light card from your deck when you gain life points.... which is basically every time an Absolute Light monster is summoned, including Lilac itself. In fact, you can use this card and Light Spring for an instant 3 material Rank 8 monster... or a 12800 DMG OTK... then search Dreamer with the last Spring summoned.... you get it. Completely broken.

 

Absolute Light Marriage: This card comes to you from the producers of Four Weddings and Little House on the Prairie. It's not BAD, it's just... average. It'll do for a level 4 tuner.

 

Absolute Light Mermaid: Absolutely useless. The number of FIRE monsters worth playing this card against is nil, and with 1500 ATK, the only archetype which suffers from it (Fire Fists/Kings) just walk right over it. 

 

Absolute Light Moonlight: No. I am not giving up TWO MONSTERS for 2000 lifepoints and 2800 atk. Look at Light and Darkness Dragon. Look at this card. No. 

 

Absolute Light Kaiser Sea Horse is not played Today for a reason. 

 

Absolute Light Peace: WHY. Seriously, you are intentionally making people look at your deck and say: that three card combo can OTK in one turn, any turn, the rest is horrendous crap that's there t fill in 40 cards. Peace is level 2, does a bit of healing, which no-one cares about these days in the face of actually destroying your opponent's cards and stopping their plays, and stops you from attacking. It's extremely strong and yet does nothing. 

 

Ansolute Light Porter: A pretty bad searcher.... and the cards it adds are worthless. 

 

Absolute Light Spring: One of the few non-crap cards of the archetype, that's actually.... horrendously broken in the archetype. There's that combo with Lilac that summons all 3 of them in the first turn, there's that thing where it has 8 levels but 3500 ATK (Blue Eyes White Dragon is crying) and there's that other thing where it does nothing on the field except sit around as a vanilla beater. It's boring, it's broken and it doesn't follow any of the card creation guidelines. 

 

Absolute Light Timekeeper: Umm. I'm not sure about the wording. Is it 2 turns from the moment this card is summoned, or two turns from the moment the DARK monster is summoned, and it's an effect that is applied for the rest of the Duel?

 

Absolute Light Waterfall: A Vanilla level 4 tuner is better. This one has low attack and can't be used for an XYZ summon.

 

I'll do the rest another time.

 

This will take an extremely long time, but I'll try anyway:

 

First of all: The art is pretty bad. It looks like someone took the time to paint it, but it has nothing to do on a card game. People fall asleep looking at these sorts of things printed onto their grandmother's tea-sets. 

 

Absolute Light Child: It's not even a tuner. Poor thing.

 

Absolute Light Distress: Heavily broken. It does what Nurse Reticule does, but with an entire archetype behind it, sitting on 2000 ATK and lets you gain life points on top of that. AND IT HAS ZERO DEF. You know what likes 0 DEF? Masked Chameleon for instant level 8 syncros.

 

Absolute Light Dreamer: Really? You gain 5000 just for banishing one Absolute Light from your grave? Normal summon Distress, then Special Summon this card, and you've just widened the LP gap by 6000. With a 6000 point difference, I can turn Ancient Sacred Wyvern into an OTK monster. 

 

Ancient Light Fear: Why? It has 2400 DEF, which is massively strong, but you add a clause where it can't attack... in a monster with 0 ATK?

 

Ancient Light Flowerbed: Bad card. You exchange a tribute for 1000 lifepoints and 2400 ATK. This archetype simple doesn't support tribute summons, so it's always going to be a -1. Plus, once it's on the field for the dubious advantage of 1000 LP, it just doesn't do anything. It's a vanilla beater waiting to be destroyed. You can't even special summon it back. 

 

 

Absolute Light Innocence: Gain 1000, then pay 2000. That's basically pay 1000 to get three monsters out of the deck. It's an Agent Venus like effect, except you can use it as many times per turn as you want. The only thing limiting this card is that it doesn't revive the "Children" from the Grave. But that's okay, because you've just made yourself a Number 54: Lion Heart. Right? That's what I'd make with three level 1's and an archetype that burns through your opponent's lifepoints with mnster card effects. 

 

Absolute Light Lilac, or Absolute Light Easy Card Advantage. You search any Absolute Light card from your deck when you gain life points.... which is basically every time an Absolute Light monster is summoned, including Lilac itself. In fact, you can use this card and Light Spring for an instant 3 material Rank 8 monster... or a 12800 DMG OTK... then search Dreamer with the last Spring summoned.... you get it. Completely broken.

 

Absolute Light Marriage: This card comes to you from the producers of Four Weddings and Little House on the Prairie. It's not BAD, it's just... average. It'll do for a level 4 tuner.

 

Absolute Light Mermaid: Absolutely useless. The number of FIRE monsters worth playing this card against is nil, and with 1500 ATK, the only archetype which suffers from it (Fire Fists/Kings) just walk right over it. 

 

Absolute Light Moonlight: No. I am not giving up TWO MONSTERS for 2000 lifepoints and 2800 atk. Look at Light and Darkness Dragon. Look at this card. No. 

 

Absolute Light Kaiser Sea Horse is not played Today for a reason. 

 

Absolute Light Peace: WHY. Seriously, you are intentionally making people look at your deck and say: that three card combo can OTK in one turn, any turn, the rest is horrendous crap that's there t fill in 40 cards. Peace is level 2, does a bit of healing, which no-one cares about these days in the face of actually destroying your opponent's cards and stopping their plays, and stops you from attacking. It's extremely strong and yet does nothing. 

 

Ansolute Light Porter: A pretty bad searcher.... and the cards it adds are worthless. 

 

Absolute Light Spring: One of the few non-crap cards of the archetype, that's actually.... horrendously broken in the archetype. There's that combo with Lilac that summons all 3 of them in the first turn, there's that thing where it has 8 levels but 3500 ATK (Blue Eyes White Dragon is crying) and there's that other thing where it does nothing on the field except sit around as a vanilla beater. It's boring, it's broken and it doesn't follow any of the card creation guidelines. 

 

Absolute Light Timekeeper: Umm. I'm not sure about the wording. Is it 2 turns from the moment this card is summoned, or two turns from the moment the DARK monster is summoned, and it's an effect that is applied for the rest of the Duel?

 

Absolute Light Waterfall: A Vanilla level 4 tuner is better. This one has low attack and can't be used for an XYZ summon.

 

I'll do the rest another time.

 

This will take an extremely long time, but I'll try anyway:

 

First of all: The art is pretty bad. It looks like someone took the time to paint it, but it has nothing to do on a card game. People fall asleep looking at these sorts of things printed onto their grandmother's tea-sets. 

 

Absolute Light Child: It's not even a tuner. Poor thing.

 

Absolute Light Distress: Heavily broken. It does what Nurse Reticule does, but with an entire archetype behind it, sitting on 2000 ATK and lets you gain life points on top of that. AND IT HAS ZERO DEF. You know what likes 0 DEF? Masked Chameleon for instant level 8 syncros.

 

Absolute Light Dreamer: Really? You gain 5000 just for banishing one Absolute Light from your grave? Normal summon Distress, then Special Summon this card, and you've just widened the LP gap by 6000. With a 6000 point difference, I can turn Ancient Sacred Wyvern into an OTK monster. 

 

Ancient Light Fear: Why? It has 2400 DEF, which is massively strong, but you add a clause where it can't attack... in a monster with 0 ATK?

 

Ancient Light Flowerbed: Bad card. You exchange a tribute for 1000 lifepoints and 2400 ATK. This archetype simple doesn't support tribute summons, so it's always going to be a -1. Plus, once it's on the field for the dubious advantage of 1000 LP, it just doesn't do anything. It's a vanilla beater waiting to be destroyed. You can't even special summon it back. 

 

 

Absolute Light Innocence: Gain 1000, then pay 2000. That's basically pay 1000 to get three monsters out of the deck. It's an Agent Venus like effect, except you can use it as many times per turn as you want. The only thing limiting this card is that it doesn't revive the "Children" from the Grave. But that's okay, because you've just made yourself a Number 54: Lion Heart. Right? That's what I'd make with three level 1's and an archetype that burns through your opponent's lifepoints with mnster card effects. 

 

Absolute Light Lilac, or Absolute Light Easy Card Advantage. You search any Absolute Light card from your deck when you gain life points.... which is basically every time an Absolute Light monster is summoned, including Lilac itself. In fact, you can use this card and Light Spring for an instant 3 material Rank 8 monster... or a 12800 DMG OTK... then search Dreamer with the last Spring summoned.... you get it. Completely broken.

 

Absolute Light Marriage: This card comes to you from the producers of Four Weddings and Little House on the Prairie. It's not BAD, it's just... average. It'll do for a level 4 tuner.

 

Absolute Light Mermaid: Absolutely useless. The number of FIRE monsters worth playing this card against is nil, and with 1500 ATK, the only archetype which suffers from it (Fire Fists/Kings) just walk right over it. 

 

Absolute Light Moonlight: No. I am not giving up TWO MONSTERS for 2000 lifepoints and 2800 atk. Look at Light and Darkness Dragon. Look at this card. No. 

 

Absolute Light Kaiser Sea Horse is not played Today for a reason. 

 

Absolute Light Peace: WHY. Seriously, you are intentionally making people look at your deck and say: that three card combo can OTK in one turn, any turn, the rest is horrendous crap that's there t fill in 40 cards. Peace is level 2, does a bit of healing, which no-one cares about these days in the face of actually destroying your opponent's cards and stopping their plays, and stops you from attacking. It's extremely strong and yet does nothing. 

 

Ansolute Light Porter: A pretty bad searcher.... and the cards it adds are worthless. 

 

Absolute Light Spring: One of the few non-crap cards of the archetype, that's actually.... horrendously broken in the archetype. There's that combo with Lilac that summons all 3 of them in the first turn, there's that thing where it has 8 levels but 3500 ATK (Blue Eyes White Dragon is crying) and there's that other thing where it does nothing on the field except sit around as a vanilla beater. It's boring, it's broken and it doesn't follow any of the card creation guidelines. 

 

Absolute Light Timekeeper: Umm. I'm not sure about the wording. Is it 2 turns from the moment this card is summoned, or two turns from the moment the DARK monster is summoned, and it's an effect that is applied for the rest of the Duel?

 

Absolute Light Waterfall: A Vanilla level 4 tuner is better. This one has low attack and can't be used for an XYZ summon.

 

I'll do the rest another time.

I never said I wanted this to be a thing, I hope this never sees the light of day (No pun intended)

There were traps, but for some reason, it wouldn't post...