Set One & Two of the "of the Burning Sun" Archetype (10/15?)

[Forest Fire]

[spoiler Set One][spoiler Icarus of the Burning Sun]

Lore: You can Tribute Summon this card in face-up Attack Position by Tributing 1 face-up level 4 or higher Winged Beast-Type monster you control. This card cannot be destroyed by card effects. During each of your Standby Phase: Place 1 Burn Counter on this card. This card gains 200 ATK for each Burn counter on it. When the 5th Burn Counter is placed on this card: Banish this card and all other monsters with an ATK that is less than this card's ATK on the Field. You can then Special Summon 1 monster from your hand or Graveyard, except "Icarus of the Burning Sun", whose Level equals the number of monsters banished by this effect, ignoring it's summoning conditions.

[spoiler Notes] You don't have to tribute summon this guy, but it is there so you can do this.Yes, you only get him for 5 of your turns, but if you can keep him and his counters on the field, the reward is well worth it. Yes, you could get burned (see? Burn counters?) but then you get to summon a monster equal to the number of destroyed by his effect. Icarus can't be summoned back by his own effect though, but he is counted so if your opponent has 5 monsters, that's a level 6 right there not including any of your monsters and you get to ignore the monsters summoning conditions. [/spoiler][/spoiler]

 

 

[spoiler Meleager of the Burning Sun]
Lore:You may Tribute Summon this card by Tributing a Beast or Beast-Warrior-Type monster you control.  During each of your Standby Phases: Target 1 face-up card that does not have a Burn Counter on it; Place a Burn Counter on that card. If you cannot: Send this card to the Graveyard. A monster with a Burn counter on it that was applied by this card gains this effect,

* Each time this card attacks, you take damage equal to this cards level multiplied by 150. 

[spoiler Notes] You don't have to tribute summon this guy, but it is there so you can do this. Any way, this one applies burn counters only to monsters without them and then... well destroys himself, but because of how his effect is worded, a card with a burn counter gains an effect that punishes the cards owner for attack with it.[/spoiler][/spoiler]

 

[spoiler Clotho of the Burning Sun]

Lore:You can Special Summon this card (from your hand) by discarding 1 other Gemini Monster. While this Special Summoned card is on the field or while this card is in the Graveyard, it is treated as a Normal Monster. While this card is face-up on the field; except during the turn it was Special Summoned, you can Normal Summon it to have it be treated as an Effect Monster with this effect.

* Once per turn: You can place a Burn Counter on a face-up card. When a Spell/Trap Card(s) is sent to the Graveyard, while it had a Burn Counter on it: The turn player discards 1 random card from their hand. If Monster Card was discarded by this effect: Inflict damage to that player equal to half the discarded monster's ATK.

[spoiler Notes] I decided to mess around with Geminis and I think I'm gonna be making more of them. Her burn counters applied to Spells or Traps cause the turn player to have a 1/3 chance of taking damage and if they have a really powerful ATK monster in their hand, there is a chance that not only will they lose it, but take half it's ATK as damage.[/spoiler][/spoiler]

 [spoiler Amaterasu of the Burning Sun]
Lore: When this card is Tributed for the Tribute Summon of a "Burning Sun" Monster, it is considered to be every Type. When this card is Tributed, you may add a Level 4 or lower "of the Burning Sun" monster card from your deck to your hand; Shuffle your deck afterward. [spoiler Notes] I really didn't know what to do with the second part of her effect, so I scrapped it and made it so that with two of her, you could summon 2/3 of the bosses. You still need Hydra for Clotho though (i'm pretty sure), but she helps get him to the hand. [/spoiler][/spoiler]

 

[spoiler Hyperion of the Burning Sun]

Lore: This card is also LIGHT. This card cannot be Special Summoned or Set. This card must be Tribute Summoned by Tributing a Level 5 or higher FIRE monster you control. When this card is Tribute Summoned, place a Burn counter on it. Every card without a Burn counter on it at the End Phase of the turn this card was Tribute Summoned is Banished; you take damage equal to the number of cards banished x100. At the End Phase of each turn, place a Burn counter on a Monster card. If a monster with a Burn counter on it, whose name doe not include "of the Burning Sun", would be Banished or destroyed; Target that card, you may discard a card from your hand, if you do; The controller of the target takes damage equal to the target's ATK points and you take damage equal to half the damage dealt. On each of your Standby Phases; You may discard a number of cards from your hand, if you do; this cards Level is decreased by 1 for each card discarded. When this card is Level 0, Banish it and any Burn counters on the field, a target player takes damage equal to the number of Burn counters Banished x200. [/spoiler]

 

 [spoiler Spawning the Eight Volcanoes]
Lore: Each time a Spell Card is activated: Place 1 Burn Counter on a face-up card on the field. Once per turn: You can remove all Burn Counters on the field to inflict 400 points of damage for each removed Burn Counter.

[spoiler Notes] Some more Japanese inspiration, this time from Kagu-tsuchi . You see, this when this kid Kagu was born, his birth killed his mom, so his dad killed him by chopping him into eight pieces and like scattered them or something and from that came eight volcanoes.[/spoiler][/spoiler]

 

[spoiler Incineration]
Lore: If your opponent has a card with a "Burn Counter" on it, and they control another card(s) that do not have "Burn Counters" on them, you may Banish 1 of those cards. 

[/spoiler]

 

[spoiler Calling the Sun]
Lore: Search your Deck for a "Burning Sun" monster and place it on top of your Deck.[/spoiler]

 

[spoiler Hydra of the Burning Sun]
Lore: This card is treated as a Normal Monster while face-up on the field or in the Graveyard. While this card is face-up on the field, you can Normal Summon it to have it be treated as an Effect Monster with this effect.

*Once per turn: You can remove 2 Burn Counters from anywhere on field; roll a six-sided die and apply the appropriate effect:

* 1: Destroy this card;

* 2, 3 or 4: Destroy 1 card on the field;

* 5 or 6: Destroy 2 cards on the field."[/spoiler][/spoiler] 

 

[spoiler Ifrit of the Burning Sun]

Pendulum Lore: This card must first be placed in your Pendulum Zone and may then be Normal Summoned by Tributing a face up Pyro-Type you control. 

Monster Lore: While in the deck, this card is treated as a Level 4 Monster. If this card would be Tributed to Tribute Summon a "of the Burning Sun" monster, it is treated as every Type. [spoiler Notes] So basically I only put this here to tell all of you that I purposefully left his Pendulum Effect Blank to balance out the card.[/spoiler][/spoiler]

 

[Forest Fire]

actually got the spoilers to work

[Forest Fire]

NO!!! NOW THEY WON'T WORK AGAIN!! GAH!!

ok. ok. they work again.

[Forest Fire]

For some reason anything after Amaterasu just gets lumped in to "nbsp" what the heck? 

and nothing happens to it here. wtf? 

[Forest Fire]

ok, so i can't really see a way to connect these cards (except with the whole burn counter thing) so... any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. 

[Forest Fire]

Edit: In number order. Minus 06 cause I'm waiting for card art. >^.^<

[The15thWing]

Alright, the idea of a Hampering Counter system is pretty good, and I like that, however, this Archetype feels severely underpowered.

 

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Icarus:

This is actually a really cool card, and even without an Archetype of his own, would be pretty cool to have. While he doesn't have the best stats, the effects make up for it, while being quite balanced.

 

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Meleager:

While he has a decent effect for spreading counters, he has one thing I don't understand:

"If you can't place a counter, this card is destroyed."

However, this effect is optional. Did you mean to make it so, you MUST use his effect every turn? Also, the burn damage is pretty decent.

 

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Clotho:

 

The Special Summon for this card seems impossible, but I'm going to guess you meant:

"You can Special Summon this card by discarding 1 "Gemini" Monster"

That's actually really powerful, but wouldn't see much use inside of this archetype, as she is the only Gemini in the set other than Hydra. Her effect however, is my favorite of the Archetype.

 

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Amaterasu:

Her effect makes sense in that you use her to summon Icarus, but I think you should also make her part Beast-Warrior, which would increase her usability in the Archetype. Or, in fact, you could add this:
"When this card is Tributed for the Tribute Summon of a "Burning Sun" Monster, it is considered to be every Type." Also, her secondary effect is a bit too situational.

 

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Akewa:

 

I feel kinda similar about her, like Amaterasu. Make her able to count as either the Tribute Conditions, and you're fine. Her secondary effect is pretty cool.

 

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Eight Volcanoes:

 

This card makes little sense to me. When it is Banished, it then negates the effect of a spell, however, that's the only time you can use the discarding effect? The discard effect seems to be not at all worth the wait, and the card is kinda odd. I think it should be something more like:

"When this card is Banished, inflict damage to your opponent equal to the number of "Burn Counters" on the field x300."

 

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Incineration:

 

This card is actually really broken, even though I can see you were unaware. This card, as it is right now, in decks that don't actually use Burning Sun cards, Banishes 1 card on the field for free. That's a bit broken, so you'll want to add something like: "If your opponent has a card with a "Burn Counter" on it, and they control another card(s) that do not have "Burn Counters" on them, you may Banish 1 of those cards."

 

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Phases of the Moon:

 

There are not currently any "of The Moon" cards in this Archetype, other than this one, so I can't really judge it, as it has no current use.

 

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Hydra:

 

Woah! Okay, this is possibly the strongest card in your Archetype, as it currently has the ability, to, for the price of a single Counter, destroy 1-6 cards on the field. It also has no Once Per Turn limit, so it can actually destroy something around 7 cards on average. I really recommend nerfing this to Once Per Turn, and maybe make a limit, such as, when you roll the dice, 1 and 2 are 1 card, 3 and 4 are 2 cards, and 5 and 6 are 3 cards. This makes it much more balanced.

 

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*Phew* Long post is long. Tl;Dr, mostly, your Archetype is underpowered, other than Hydra, but with a couple touches they can be much better. One thing this set could REALLY use is a card that lets you Normal Summon 1 "Burning Sun" in addition to your Normal Summon for the turn.

[Forest Fire]

thanks for the advice 

edit: scraping the moon thing

[Forest Fire]

Edits:

-Clotho's Summoning

-Meleager now makes it so you must place a counter on a card that doesn't have one

-Scrapped Akewa

-Edited Amaterasu so she summons 2/3 of the bosses

-Nerfed Incineration

-Nerfed Hydra

-Scrapped the Moon idea

-added Calling the Sun

[Forest Fire]

missed bump yesterday. here's today's bump:

Bump

[Yemachu]

Most effects that are "quoted" have been, are a little bit different from the original, since I applied some Card Grammer fixes. In some cases this might cause the effect to be somewhat different from the original, but I don't think this is that much of an issue. Also I left out "Greed's Seizing Aparition" from my review, because I believe it is unrelated to the other cards in the set. Now without futher ado, let the review begin.

 

[spoiler="Icarus of the Burning Sun"]Level: 10
ATK: 2000
DEF: 2800
Attribute: FIRE
Type: Winged Beast / Effect
Lore: You can Tribute Summon this card in face-up Attack Position by Tributing 1 face-up level 4 or higher Winged Beast-Type monster you control. This card cannot be destroyed by card effects. During each of your Standby Phase: Place 1 Burn Counter on this card. This card gains 200 ATK for each Burn counter on it. When the 5th Burn Counter is placed on this card: Banish this card and all other monsters with an ATK that is less than this card's ATK on the Field. You can then Special Summon 1 monster from your hand or Graveyard, except "Icarus of the Burning Sun", whose Level equals the number of monsters banished by this effect, ignoring it's summoning conditions.

As a somewhat easy to Summon Level 10 monster, it can aid in Xyz Summoning Rank 10 monsters. "Assault of the Fire Kings" can bring it quickly to the field, but destroys it during the End Phase as well as negating your monster's effect. Assuming no other ATK modulating effects are in place, monsters with an ATK of 3000 or more are safe from this card's banishing effect. This is a somewhat high ATK for the current meta-game (as far as I am aware). But I have a feeling that this effect might often take effect, as it requires this monster to be on the field for quite some time; which can be hard considering its initial ATK and the amount of cards that can get rid of it without actually destroying.
[/spoiler][spoiler="Clotho of the Burning Sun"]Level: 9
ATK: 2800
DEF: 2400
Attribute: FIRE
Type: Spellcaster / Gemini
Lore: You can Special Summon this card (from your hand) by discarding 1 other Gemini Monster. While this Special Summoned card is on the field or while this card is in the Graveyard, it is treated as a Normal Monster. While this card is face-up on the field; except during the turn it was Special Summoned, you can Normal Summon it to have it be treated as an Effect Monster with this effect.
• Once per turn: You can place a Burn counter on a face up Spell or Trap card. A Spell or Trap card with a Burn counter on it gains this effect.
• When this card is sent to the Graveyard, the turn player must discard a random card from their hand, if the card was a Monster card, the player is dealt damage equal to half that monsters original ATK (if the monsters ATK is less than 500, the player is dealt 500 points of damage).

I removed the quotes from its Summoning effect ("by discarding 1 other "Gemini" monster"), because I think it is not supposed to use cards like "Gemini Elf" and "Gemini Imps" as a cost for its summoning; but I can be mistakening (quotes indicate that it is a {part of a} monster's name). The effect of this card is quite unusual, and I am not sure whether it works with the rules ("copied" effects tend to wear off before they hit the Graveyard). Therefore I would suggest to word the effect a little bit different, though it should function almost the same: "• Once per turn: You can place a Burn Counter on a face-up Spell or Trap Card. When a Spell/Trap Card(s) is sent to the Graveyard, while it had a Burn Counter on it: The turn player discards 1 random card from their hand. If Monster Card was discarded by this effect: Inflict damage to that player equal to half the discarded monster's ATK.". The main difference here is that it is still this card's effect, as well as only 1 card gets discarded when mass-destroying cards.
 
Although this card does not have an effect the turn you Special Summon it, it is still a formidable beatstick at 2800 ATK. That is quite a bit and might just be enough reason to just put it in a Gemini Deck. So I would say it does not even really need its effect, but I have a few suggestions. If you however go with one or more of them,  you might need to lower its ATK and DEF a little bit; as I have the idea it would otherwise become overpowered.
 
Rather than the turn player, let the destroyed card's controller discard a card. Your opponent most likely wants to destroy your cards anaway, but it also gives you a reason to put Burn Counters on your opponent's cards. In this case you might also want to drop the damage, as it would already cause your opponent to lose 2 cards; added damage becomes a bit much. Another possibility is to let the effect place Burn Counters on monsters as well, this can help "Icarus of the Burning Sun" and thus adds some synergy to the archtype. But keep the destruction effect to the Spell/Trap Cards only.
[/spoiler][spoiler="Meleager of the Burning Sun"]Level: 8
ATK: 2700
DEF: 2350
Attribute: FIRE
Type: Warrior / Effect
Lore: You can Tribute Summon this card in face-up Attack Position by Tributing 1 face-up Beast or Beast-Warrior-Type monster you control. Once per turn: You can place a Burn Counter on a card that does not have a Burn Counter on it; If you cannot, send this card to the Graveyard. A monster with a Burn counter on it that was applied by this card gains this effect,
• Each time this card attacks, you take damage equal to this cards level multiplied by 150.
 
As "The15thWing" already pointed out, its effect is a little bit weird concerning the part where this card sends itself to the Graveyard when it cannot place a Burn Counter on a card. The way it is worded now, you are allowed to choose to activate its effect; this effect can actually not even activate when all cards on the field have a Burn Counter on them. Therefore you should almost never have to worry about this card's effect that sends itself to the Graveyard (unless your opponent plays a card like "Emergency Provisions"). I guess you intended this effect to automatically activate during the Standby Phase or something. In that case the effect would become something like: "During each of your Standby Phases: Target 1 face-up card that does not have a Burn Counter on it; Place a Burn Counter on that card. If you cannot: Send this card to the Graveyard.".
 
Also your "Icarus of the Burning Sun" could have benefit from this card's effect to get the first counter, if it wat not for the 1500 points of damage you would take each time it attacks. Therefore I would suggest to exclude "Burning Sun" monsters from the damaging effect, as it counterproductive otherwise.
[/spoiler][spoiler="Amaretsu of the Burning Sun"]
Level: 4
ATK: 1500
DEF: 1000
Attribute: FIRE
Type: Warrior / Effect
Lore: When this card is Tributed for the Tribute Summon of a "Burning Sun" Monster, it is considered to be every Type. When this card is Tributed, you can add 1 Level 4 or lower "Burning Sun" monster card from your deck to your hand; Shuffle your deck afterward.
 
Shuffling your deck after searching it is often implicit, but explicitly declaring alters which cards can be used in response (you can only chain to the last thing to occur, shuffling in this case). But that aside, this is the only card in the archtype, which actually makes it an archtype: declaring a set of monsters by a part of their names. It does not really do something Special, it can get the stronger monsters on the field more easily. As well as replacing itself when it is tributed. Due to it somewhat low stats, and the fact that there is not really an easy way to get it on the field to immediatly tribute it, I think it can stay as it is now.
[/spoiler][spoiler="Hydra of the Burning Sun"]
Level: 4
ATK: 1500
DEF: 1200
Attribute: FIRE
Type: Wyrm / Gemini
Lore: This card is treated as a Normal Monster while face-up on the field or in the Graveyard. While this card is face-up on the field, you can Normal Summon it to have it be treated as an Effect Monster with this effect.
•You may remove one Burn counter from anywhere on the field, if you do roll a die and apply one of the following effects based on the result.
•1-2: Destroy 1 card on the field
•3-4: Destroy 2 cards on the field
•5-6: Destroy 3 cards on the field
 
Although this monster has a somewhat low ATK and DEF, it can be extremely devestating; something which is generally not a good thing (by standards of the forum). By removing 1 Burn Counter you are certain to destroy at least 1 card up to a max of 3 (except when there are not enough cards, which causes non of the cards to be destroyed I believe). But what if there is not just 1 Burn Counter on the field? Since its effect has no limitations on how often it can be activated, you can remove Burn Counters until there are no more left, or your opponent no longer controls any cards (unless you want to destroy your own cards that is). This seems a little bit overpowered, even for a Gemini Monster. "Snipe Hunter" (a somewhat similar card) has a higher cost to activate its effect, is limited to monsters only, targets and is not even certain of destroying a card. "Dark Master - Zorc"'s effect is somewhat more powerful, but it is harder to summon and has quite a risk as well: destroy all monsters you control. 
 
It might not surprise you that I think this card needs to be watered down a little bit. The inclusion of a "once per turn"-clause is a given here. Increasing the cost by a Burn Counter or two might also work. Lastly I would suggest to reduce each destruction by 1 down a bit, with a higer chance to destroy just 1 card. With everything in place the effect can become something like: "Once per turn: You can remove 2 Burn Counters from anywhere on field; roll a six-sided die and apply the appropriate effect:
• 1: Destroy this card; 
• 2, 3 or 4: Destroy 1 card on the field;
• 5 or 6: Destroy 2 cards on the field."
[/spoiler][spoiler="Calling the Sun"]
Type: Spell
Lore: If you Normal Summon/Set this turn: You can discard a card from your hand; Normal Summon a "Burning Sun" monster from your hand or Graveyard.
 
Monsters are typically not Normal Summoned from the Graveyard; they are often Special Summoned. Another point is that you still need to tribute monsters for the Normal Summon. I would also like to point out that this card has a counterpart which is somewhat easier to activate and less restricting: "Double Summon". Although that card does not let you Normal Summon from the Graveyard.
 
Also this card's cost acts a bit like "Machina Fortress", where you can just retrieve the card which you discarded. Considering a non-limited existing card ("Double Summon") is more versatile, I think you can actually make this card somewhat more powerful. I do however not really have an idea to make it more powerful, without either copying an existing card or completely changing its effect. A completely different effect, based on its name: "Search your Deck for a "Burning Sun" monster and place it on top of your Deck." (somewhat similar to "Deep Diver").
[/spoiler][spoiler="Spawning of the Eight Volcanoes"]Type: Spell / Continuous(?)
Lore: Each time a Spell is activated; place 1 Burn Counter on this card. When the 8th Burn Counter is placed on this card: Banish this card; then inflict damage to your opponent equal to the number of Burn Counters on the field x300.
 
This card's effect is not really all that special or powerful. The primary usage for this card would probably be fuel for the effect of "Hydra of the Burning Sun" rather than inflict effect damage to your opponent; which is what its own effect does. Futhermore, the damage output is not all that high, especially when you consider that the card that probably has the most Burn Counters leaves the field to inflict damage and therefore you miss out on 8 Burn Counters (2400 points of damage).
 
To make this card somewhat more usefull (and add synergy to the archtype), I would suggest to change the effect to something like the following: "Each time a Spell Card is activated: Place 1 Burn Counter on a face-up card on the field. Once per turn: You can remove all Burn Counters on the field to inflict 400 points of damage for each removed Burn Counter.". This effect is similar to that of "Tempest Magician", only dealing little less damage and requiring more specific counters. Now you can keep dealing damage with this card, which probably wont be your most prominent damage output, as well as help your other "Burning Sun" cards.
[/spoiler][spoiler=Incarnation]Type: Trap
Lore: If your opponent controls a card with a Burn Counter" on it and a card without a Burn Counter on it: You can target 1 card your opponent controls; banish that target.
 
There are easier ways to get rid of your opponent's cards, but it works with the other counter generating cards. Also when choosing the card to banish, you'd be best of leaving the 1 with a counter on the field; since we can use those counters for other purposes. Since some of your "Burning Sun" cards want Burn Counters on them, you probably will barely place them on opposing monsters.
 
With a slight alteration to this card's effect, you can make it somewhat more tempting to place the Burn Counters on your opponent's cards. My suggestion is as follows: "Target 1 card with a Burn Counter(s) on it; banish that target, then distribute Burn Counters among face-up cards equal to the number of Burn Counters that were on the target." This way you do not lose your precious Burn Counters and this card becomes somewhat more usable.
[/spoiler] 
The archtype in whole seems rather like a few random cards with somewhat similar effects put together, than an actual archtype. However with some of the suggested changes you should be able to fix this. 
 
As for your question in some of the notes ("can/may... what's the difference?"), the word "may" is used primarily on older cards; whereas "can" is mostly used nowadays (and is the one I go with). I cannot give you the exact difference (other than them having different characters), but the word "may" has a somewhat more questioning nature (at least in my perception); as if it sometimes might not work. If you want a better answer, you should google it, or ask konami for their reasoning. For some other wording related issues, you might want to take a look at this guide by "Zazubat" (it is a bit long). 
 
I hope my vision/suggestions are of some usage to you.

[Forest Fire]

changes have been made to basically every card.

[Forest Fire]

a friend of mine suggesting nerfing hydra so that 1 and 2 would result in it's destruction... would that make it underpowered tho?

[Yemachu]

a friend of mine suggesting nerfing hydra so that 1 and 2 would result in it's destruction... would that make it underpowered tho?

Since you first need to summon it twice (or once if you control a "Superalloy Beast Raptinus"), and have to remove 2 Burn Counters  (which are quite rare); I think its effect would become underpowered when it has a 1 in 3 (instead of 1 in 6) chance to destroy itself. But that is just my take on the case. 

 

Also the effect of your "Meleager of the Burning Sun" seems like placing a counter is mandatory, although no moment is specified on which it activates. I have already suggested a fix in my previous post, but here it just for convenience: "During each of your Standby Phases: Target 1 face-up card that does not have a Burn Counter on it; Place a Burn Counter on that card. If you cannot: Send this card to the Graveyard.". While it is up to you what you do with its effect, I would advise you to do something about it; because it a bit unclear as it is right now.

 

I hope it helps.

[Forest Fire]

ok. one edit done.

[Forest Fire]

ok so i finally found an art i liked for the last monster in this set. sorry torm, but the art i had you edit lost it's appeal to me. so here's the newest addition to the archetype: Hyperion

[Forest Fire]

oops just realized i forgot to change the title. 

[Forest Fire]

edit: closed set one into a spoiler and started set two with a bang.

[Forest Fire]

lowered Ifirt's stats

[Forest Fire]

bump

[Forest Fire]

bump

[The15thWing]

2 New cards, I see.

 

Hyperion is rather unique, and rather potent if used correctly, yet stays balanced due to a lack of protection and Tribute Summon requirements. His nuke effect takes a while, and his burn effect is a double-edged sword, however, they are still both very useful.

 

Ifrit is actually really awesome, but as the Archetype relies on Tribute Summons, I would say he seems somewhat at odds. The Tribute Summon effect is rather neat, but it should be in his Pendulum Text, as that's when he can Tribute Summon himself. The effect for him meeting the Tribute Requirements should stay in his Monster Effect part.

 

Pretty cool additions.

[Forest Fire]

thanks for advice. edit to come

[Forest Fire]

btw. edited 

[Forest Fire]

bump