Corpse of Katie Vick joins cast of Total Divas

[Just Crouton]

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Fans of “popular” “reality” TV show Total Divas are abuzz today with the news that Katie Vick, the dead teenaged cheerleader sexually defiled postmortem by Kane, is joining the cast.

 

Vick, who has remained out of the WWE spotlight since being mounted in her casket by Triple-H wearing a Kane mask, is expected to appear on the show when it returns from a merciful mid-season hiatus.

 

Little is known about Vick, except that she was violated in the most depraved manner possible by Kane, whose necrophiliac urges may have stemmed from a tragic and mysterious fire at his childhood home.

 

Kane has adamantly denied any depraved wrongdoings with Vick, though most wrestling pundits argue he is merely trying to protect his corporate image.

 

It is believed that Kane dated Vick while he was in dentistry school, and committed unspeakable acts to her lifeless body following a car accident. These details are known because there is no depth to which WWE will not stoop for a storyline.

 

According to a press release from the E! Network, Vick will make her first appearance when Total Divas returns in January. A summary of the upcoming episode reveals: “TJ and Natalya squabble, Nikki acts like a spoiled princess, Katie lies around hoping not to get sexually defiled, and John looks like he regrets agreeing to be on the show.”