[Written] How can we make Shapesnatch even remotely usable?

[bumpalumpa]

I think the really old Level 5 Normal Monsters with craptastic attack need some use, even if it's in a dumb idea. 

EDIT: If you can tell which cards I'm referencing you get a cookie

 

Lady of Pity

Spellcaster/Pendulum

Level 5/LIGHT

Scale 4

Pend Effect: You cannot Special Summon monsters, except Normal Monsters. All Level 5 or higher Normal Monsters with 2000 or less original ATK gain 1000 ATK. You can Normal Summon Normal Monsters with one less Tribute.

Monster Lore: A traveling woman that helps even the weakest of fighters improve themselves. She is always willing to sacrifice herself to let others shine.

1000 ATK/2100 DEF

 

Horrible Pendulum Beast of Horror

Beast/Pendulum

Level 5/DARK

Scale 7

Pend Effect: You cannot Special Summon monsters, except Normal Monsters. Once per turn, you can pay 800 Life Points, add 1 Level 5 or higher non-Pendulum Normal Monster with 2000 or less original ATK to your hand.

Monster Lore: A horrible beast of horror, it is very horrible. The power of the horrible beasts grants it its horrible power, because it is very horrible. It is so horrible that people run in horror from the horrible beast. How horrible.

1950 ATK/2050 DEF

 

Bow Tie With Horrible Power

Spell/Equip

Equip only to a Level 5 or higher Normal Monster with 2000 or less original ATK. When the equipped monster destroys an opponent's monster by battle and sends it to the Graveyard, you can Special Summon the destroyed monster on your side of the Field, but its effects are negated and its ATK becomes 0.

 

Dark Witch Sweeper

Spell/Quickplay

Tribute a Level 5 or higher Normal Monster with 2000 or less original ATK. Destroy up to 2 Spell/Trap cards your opponent controls.

 

Force That Feeds on Flames

Trap/Continuous

Level 5 or higher Normal Monsters with 2000 or less original ATK cannot be destroyed by battle. When you take Battle Damage in a battle involving a Level 5 or higher Normal Monster with 2000 or less original ATK that you control, you can target one Level 5 or higher Normal Monster with 2000 or less original ATK you control, that target gains ATK equal to the damage you took until this card leaves the field.

 

Champion's Millenium Shield

Pyro/Fusion/Effect

Level 5/FIRE

"Flame Champion" + "Millenium Shield"

This card is always treated as a Normal Monster. Must first be Fusion Summoned. You can Fusion Summon this card by banishing the above Fusion Material Monsters from your hand, side of the Field, or Graveyard (you do not use "Polymerization"). Your opponent cannot target Level 5 or higher Normal Monsters with 2000 or less original ATK you control for card effects or attacks, except this one.

1900 ATK/3000 DEF

 

Shapesnatching Morinphen

Fiend/Fusion/Effect

Level 5/DARK

"Shapesnatch" + "Morinphen"

This card is always treated as a Normal Monster. Must first be Fusion Summoned. You can Fusion Summon this card by banishing the Fusion Material Monsters from your hand, side of the Field, or Graveyard (you do not use "Polymerization"). Once per turn, you can target one monster your opponent controls, change control of that monster until the End Phase, but it cannot attack.

1550 ATK/1700 DEF

 

Spirit of the Underdog

Warrior/Fusion/Effect

Level 5/Light

2 Level 5 or higher Normal Monsters with 2000 or less original ATK

This card is always treated as a Normal Monster. Must first be Fusion Summoned. You can Fusion Summon this card by banishing the Fusion Material Monsters from your hand, side of the Field, or Graveyard (you do not use "Polymerization"). Once per turn, during your Standby Phase, you can draw 1 card, reveal it. If it is a Normal Monster, you can draw one more card. Otherwise, shuffle both cards into the Deck.

 

Keeper of the Ancient Rules

Spellcaster/Xyz/Effect

Rank 5/EARTH

2 Level 5 Normal Monsters with 2000 or less original ATK

This card is always treated as a Normal Monster. You can Xyz Summon this card using a non-effect Fusion Monster as Xyz Materials. Once per turn, you can Special Summon 1 Level 5 or higher Normal Monster with 2000 or less original ATK from your Deck.