elamental hero's Posted April 3, 2008 Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 hi here is my new fan fic.hope you enjoy chapter 1 the rise of the dark hunters. One day there was a great duelist called mehric mehric started off as a good duelist until he turned evil.But yugi and his freinds and jaden and his freinds will not let him get a egypitain god card.So he found one in the shadow relm and who ever lost a duel against mehric they would become his servant and a dark hunter.Now there is a new duelist who is called Ash he wanted a duel with mehric but it was to dangrous.Until he found mehric.Ash:duel me mehric.mehric:has you wish.ash -8000 lp (5 cards)mehric-8000 lp(5 cards)Ash:i start.He drew and smiled he put 2 face downs and summoned spear dragon(atk:1900 Def:0)and end.mehric:i draw.He smiled.mehric:and i summon luster dragon#2 and acttivate brain control.Ash:NO!!!!!!mehric:and i activate double summon and special summon so i get my egypiation god card and 2 more luster dragons and attck all of them direcetly.Ash:Argh!!!!!!!!!!!Ash (0 lp-3 cards)mehric (8000 lp-0 cards)Ash was loosing his mind and became a dark hunter!Mehric's power was true and they went back to the shadow relm to make a plan.Yugi:Jaden come here there is mehric taking ASH!!!!!!!!Jaden:oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Joey:it is to late.jesse:not unless we breack his spell.kiaba:he is breaking the rules of the kiaba corp dueling competion.Mokobua:he is stealing there cards so he can win.Kiaba:What about knoa.Tea:he is gone for good yugi finished him off.Yugi:yeh i did.The millneim puzzle started to glow.Yugi:that means mehric has got even more power full.So ash's mind got whiped out and served for mehricYugi:so next he is going to send the servents to jesse but that might not be defernet.Joey:me and yugi will see mehric all of you guy split up and find the dark hunters.So they went off to investigate.mehric:Ash go with steven and michael to jesse and duel him i want his crystal beast deck.And they went off to find jesse.Ash:Jesse duell me now for your cards.Jesse:noThen Ash got his crystal beast topaz.Jesse:not my Topaz fine i will duel then.Ash:we will have 4000 life points.Jesse:ok.Jesse:i start and i activate double summon i summon crystal beast emrald turtle(atk:800 Def:2000) and crystal beast ruby green(Atk:3000 Def:900)and end.Ash:i draw and i summon luster dragon(atk:2400 Def:1200) by activating special summon a monster and i activat brain control and crontrol your crystal beast ruby green and attack you directly.Jesse:NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!So ash took the cards.Jesse:no there my familleySo jesse started to cry.Ash:stop being a cry baby. To Be Continuedcoming soon chapter 2...hope you liked that any comments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkrai777 Posted April 3, 2008 Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 Very Good! Some advice!Make the first letter of a card name in capital so it stands out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elamental hero's Posted April 3, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 ok you can join the fan fic chapter 2 is coming out now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkrai777 Posted April 3, 2008 Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 Love to. I 've noticed on both of our fan fic threads we've just been talking to each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elamental hero's Posted April 3, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 okay here comes chapter 2 any way who are you going to be i'm Ash you can make up a character Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkrai777 Posted April 3, 2008 Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 I'd like to be Rich (A guy I just made up), if thats ok with you. Do I need to state his personality or anything? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SephirothKirby Posted April 3, 2008 Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 How many fanfics do you have going? I like how Marik cheated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elamental hero's Posted April 3, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 don't no Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SebastiaanZ Posted April 3, 2008 Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 Seriously you all have to be joking, right? This is worse. You can't call this a serious fanfic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Diviner Posted April 3, 2008 Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 This is kinda bad try and write better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baritone_rob05 Posted April 3, 2008 Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 very bad grammer. Make it Easier to read! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elamental hero's Posted April 4, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2008 sorry about the bad grammer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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