Frlf Posted May 5, 2008 Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 [align=center]Welcome to my fan-fic..''The Fan-Fic''[/align] [spoiler=Main Characters][spoiler=Iro]Name: IroAge:16Attitude: He doesn't think what he makes, serious, and aggresive.Deck: Monsters: 18 3 Ojama Green3 Ojama Yellow3 Ojama Black3 Snipe Hunter1 Sangan3 Cyber Dragon1 Spirit Reaper1 Morphing Jar Spells: 13 1 Mystical Space Typhoon1 Heavy Storm1 Snatch Steal2 Creature Swap2 Ojamagic1 Lightning Vortex2 Smashing Ground1 Pot Of Avarice1 Premature Burial2 Shield & SwordTraps: 11 3 Sakaretsu Armor1 Call Of The Haunted1 Ring Of Destruction1 Torrential Tribute2 The Transmigration Prophecy3 Solemn Judgment Fusion: 1 1 Ojama King [spoiler=Introduction to the Fan Fic]This fan-fic is about in the year 4000. You will think: ''Woa, its the future with robots, technology, and that boring things'' Well, no.. this Fan-Fic is about after world war 3.. The world is half destroyed and all is controled by ''The Violet Eye''.There are million of human colonies, because, ''The Violet Eye'' aren't humans, they are evolved humans that where in cards pegasus sealed them in and evolved by the years.(1st Season of Yugioh, Pegasus could seal people in cards) ''How The Seal Was Broken'' you may ask.. Well, when the last Duel Monster's World's Tournament was over, the winner won all the Sacred Beasts (Slifer, Obelisk, Ra, Hamon, Uria, and Raviel).. and he becamed crazy and overpowered by those cards..One day, The cards anger and destroyal power possesed the winner and they destroyed the millenary articles, and Sacred Beasts dissapeared by this act.. Now, at the Colonies, this 16 year old human, who is the heir of Yaiden Yuki, has the Duel Monster's passion in his blood, so he was born and raised looking at the corrupts playing Duel Monsters. The humans couldn't play Duel Monsters, because ''The Violet Eye'' were feared some human might beat them in a duel, because when you loose the duel in this transtorned world, you.. go to ''The Stars''. Once a year.. Members of ''The Violet Eye'' had a contest of Duel Monsters, and the winner would be their new leader.. So, Iro, secretly gets a costume and will enter this contest, with a lot to win, and not a lot to loose.. Also, dueling sistem is different, spirits are alive, and no dueling disks... when you use a card.. you just call it and its summoned (the card morphs into the creature) .. and when its destroyed.. it really is destroyed.. if you win, you take all cards (from the graveyard) and if you loose.. well you are dead.. [spoiler=chapter #1] [align=center]Its early in the morning, aproximatedly 5 AM, Iro wakes up hearing a terrible sound.. [/align][align=left]Iro: Woa! Who is it!? ???: Wake up. Iro: Who is it? Where are you? ???: All your questions will be answered, but you need to go to the crater where you where your father was killed... [/align][align=center]Iro goes to the crater, he sees nothing..He stands there waiting for 2 hours, but nothing happened. [/align][align=left]???: You past the test. Iro: Woa, you again? Where are you? What Test? ???: I am here, and no where, i was testing you to see if you can save your race and your people. Iro: What are you talking about? ???: You, Iro, from the human colonies, can save your race, beating ''The Violet Eye'' leader in a duel. Iro: What are you talking about?! I haven't played duel monsters , its illegal, i don't have a deck, and im a human! [/align][align=center]The voice becames lower and lower with an echoe... [/align][align=left]Iro: You know you can do it, look at your back, there is the key... there is the key... [/align][align=center]Iro turns back, there is a shiny box, glowing, he opens it, and there is a deck.. [/align][align=left]Iro: I must be dreaming... Spirits? A deck? [/align][align=center]Iro returns to his home for ''The Violet Eye'' not to notice his aucience in that morning...[/align][align=left]Iro's Mom: Iro, were where you?! i was so woried they took you to another colonie! Iro: I am fine, its just that, its just... Iro's Mom: What happened? Iro: I met a spirit, i think it was dad, he led me to the crated dad died, and suddenly, this appeared... [/align][align=center]He shows his mom the box [/align][align=left]Iro's Mom: What?! Get that away! You want us dead? Iro: I know, but i think i can do something for us, maybe, i can. Iro's Mom: No you can't, you don't even know how to play these, and we are humans, we can't have this things! Iro... understand your father tried once, now he is... dead. Iro: I know, and i will destroy the one who killed my father! Iro's Mom: Shut up! You can't! Who gaved you this idea? That guy Ron? Iro: No! I told you! A spirit gaved this to me! Iro's Mom: No you! Spirits do not excist! [/align][align=center]Iro tries to run away, with the box hidden in his jacket, but he is stopped by a Violet's Eye guard. [/align][align=left]Guard: Where you thing you are going, dirty human? Iro: Don't talk to me like that! Guard: Oh, how dare you! [/align][align=center]The guard takes out a card and elecrtocutes Iro. [/align][align=left]Iro: AHH! you lucky i can't do nothing... Guard: Try me! [/align][align=center]Iro makes sure nobody is near the area... [/align][align=left] Iro: Well, i will try you... Guard: Yeah? How? [/align]Iro takes out his deck [align=left]Guard: A dueling deck! Iro: Yes! Now you try me! Guard: Oh well, you want to meet your father? hah, i will do it easier for you![/align][align=center] Will Iro beat the guard? Will Iro became human's last hope? Will Iro break out ''The Violet Eye''? Let's see it on the next chapter![/align] [spoiler= Chapter #2] [align=left]Iro: Game! I will start. I put 2 face-downs and a defence position face down monster. Guard: Hah! My turn! I use my card Card Destruction! Discard all your cards and draw the same number as the discarded ones! Now, time for you to loose! Iro: How's that? You got no monsters! Guard: With this! I summon Megarock Dragon! Iro: Wait, he has no Attack Points! Guard: Thats now, when i summon this monster i remove from play Earth monsters from the grave and boosts his attack x700 for each monster! Iro: Wait! You have 4 Earth monsters in your graveyard, that means.. 2800 attack!? Guard: Thats right! Now attack his facedown monster! Iro: Uhhh!! Wait a second, i activate my trap card! Sakaretsu Armor! Your monster is destroyed! Guard: How you!! [/align][align=center]Iro: 4000 Life PointsGuard: 4000 Life Points[/align][align=left] Guard: Well i finish my turn placing a face down... Iro: Draw! I activate Heavy Storm! Guard: What? No! You will destroy my face down! Iro: Thats right! And guess what? My other face down was Ojamagic! I add all 3 Ojamas to my hand! Guard: No! Iro: Then i will flip my face down! its Spirit Reaper! and i Put in attack Position my Ojama Black! Also my Sword & Shield! Guard: What? No! Iro: Ojama Black! Spirit Reaper! Attack him directly! [/align]Iro: 4000 Life Points Guard: 2800[align=left]Iro: I end my turn puting tow face downs. Guard: Okay, no more mercy! I put up my Hammer Shot destroy your Ojama Black! Iro: Uhg.. Guard: Now i put my Moai Interceptor Cannons! And Brain control! And also Sword & Shield! Iro: No! Guard: Attack Directly! [/align][align=center]Iro: 1800 Life Points Guard: 2800 Life Points[/align][align=left][/align][align=left]Iro: Well, activate call of the haunted and revive my Ojama Black. Guard: Im done for now, i put a face down first. Iro: Well, well, i think its your time to loose, hah, so funny.. Guard: How can it be? Iro: With this! First Lightning Vortex! destroy your monster Iro: I use Polymerization! Iro: I summon you, Ojama King! Guard: How would i loose? he has 0 attack points? Iro: Simple! i got another spell card Shield and Sword! Guard: So i guess... its over Iro: Better luck next time... oh wait there will be no next time! Ojama King... attack directly his Life Points! Guard: Oh, you are strong... [/align]Guard becomes many shiny litttle fragments that fly to heaven[align=left] Iro: I'll better get going. I think i will need to go to the revelion camps, the leader, Yankee, they told me he is awsome.. [/align]Will Iro get to the revelion? Will ''The Violet Eye'' discover his plans? to now... see the next chapter! [spoiler=Chapter #3]Iro spends all night looking for the revelion camp, with no resultsIro: Oh man, i will never find this camp..[align=center] Suddenly a guy appears and knocks out Iro with a cardIro wakes up[/align][align=left]Iro: Uh.. where am i????: Who are you? Who sent you? Iro: Tell me your name and i will tell you mine! ???: Humph, patethic. Iro: Who are you to tell me like that! ???: Humph, i am Yankee, the leader of the revelion. And if you don't want us to eliminate you, answer the question. Who are you? Who sent you? Iro: I'm Iro, from the colonies. I escaped yesterday after beating up a guard. Yankee: And, ''Iro'' how could you have beaten a guard? Iro: With this! [/align] Iro shows Yankee his deck [align=left]Yankee: Get this guy to the dungeon. Iro: What?! Why?! Yankee: Well, you are from the colonies as you say... Iro: Yes, i am... Yankee: And why you have a Deck? Nice try...[/align] Two guys appear and grab Iro from his shoulder [align=left] Iro: Wait! A.. spirit.. gaved it to me! Yankee: Yes, and i'm Splice...[/align] Suddenly, the same spirit that Spirit: Yankee, remember me... War of Relar... year 3992... Yankee: Leave Iro, he speaks the truth... Iro: At last. Well so, what does the revelion exactly does? Yankee: We actually try don't getting killed... Iro: And your plan? What about the plan to destroy ''The Violet Eye''? Yankee: We got none... Iro: What?! Why?! Yankee: What should we do? Destroy our reduced army? Leave the sacred land? Iro: Sacred Land? Whats that? Yankee: Here... duels aren't bugged. We can duel for fun. But there is no fun living actually... Iro: So... duel for fun? Yankee: Yeah Iro: Well, what about. We duel! Yankee: (Sarcastic) Yeah sure... you dueling me? Iro: Why you won't?! Yankee: I need to see if you are good to see if i can spend some seconds destroying you... Iro: What? Well give me someone to duel and test me if im good! Yankee: Well, i will. Come here Ryan![/align] Suddenly, ryan appears. [align=left]Ryan: So, Iro... Duel! Iro: Sure! Duel![/align] Will Iro defeat Ryan? Will Iro convince Yankee to make a plan? See it on the next chapter! Chapter #4 coming soon... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yankee Posted May 5, 2008 Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 Hmmm, very interesting idea, and pretty well written. Pretty nice.I look forward to seeing more from this ^.^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ultimate Ryan Posted May 5, 2008 Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 nice ^_^ good job frlf! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frlf Posted May 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 Thx both.. i also accept some ideas / suggestions.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted May 5, 2008 Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 Only bad thing I've noticed is the spelling, which isn't perfect, if you see what I mean. But well, who is? I like the plot, very much. Keep writing. And also, as a side-note, the card game is called Duel Monsters, not yugioh. (You are in the anime world, you have to adapt to it) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyhe Posted May 5, 2008 Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 ah,an apolycaylipic future,mutant humans & duel spirits as a theme.good series with a bright future ahead.Will the god cards be in here?and why the "Violent Eye" is called like that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frlf Posted May 6, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 6, 2008 Chapter #2 is up, and i added his deck. Chapter #3 tomorrow and Lord Whye, its the Violet Eye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ruby Posted May 7, 2008 Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 It's ok...but you need to seperate the differences of the dialogue and the stage directions...^_^ use size, color, and bold differences... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frlf Posted May 7, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 Narration i put it on the center :/ didin't you noticed xD? Oh well i can take an ''Ok'' from you ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ruby Posted May 7, 2008 Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 yes...but it's kinda hard to read with it like that...it'd be better setting it to bold...or a different color...nd changing size to small... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frlf Posted May 7, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 yes...but it's kinda hard to read with it like that...it'd be better setting it to bold...or a different color...nd changing size to small... Done.. Bold.. thx for suggestion ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ruby Posted May 7, 2008 Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 another neat trick, is to colorize the characters names Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ultimate Ryan Posted May 7, 2008 Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 another neat trick' date=' is to colorize the characters names [/quote']Agree!BTW aren't ojamas ATK/0 DEF/1000? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frlf Posted May 7, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 tought i used sword and shield -_-.. thx for reminding meh ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priestess Slifer Posted May 7, 2008 Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 Hey I loved it ^.^ Can't wait for the next chapter :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frlf Posted May 7, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 Hey I loved it ^.^ Can't wait for the next chapter :3 Thx thx ^_^.. at last a positive comment xD chapter #3 tomorrow scince im tired from playing basketball and playing guitar all day -_- (tuesday is not my day, i hate it) and also another basketball game tomorrow -_- (halp meh!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ultimate Ryan Posted May 7, 2008 Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 nice ^_^ good job frlf! Yeah cause this is soooooo negative >_< I left positive comment... you no remember your Rival??? The 1 who edged you to doing your best??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyhe Posted May 11, 2008 Report Share Posted May 11, 2008 Chapter #2 is up' date=' and i added his deck. Chapter #3 tomorrow and Lord Whye, its the [b']Violet Eye[/b]oh my bad,but still,why are they called like that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frlf Posted May 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 11, 2008 I completely forgot my fan fic =O.. im so sorry.. i will get up at least chapter #4 by tomorrow.. scince i got a lot on MS Word.. ^_^ Violet Eye: I thing that poped up on my mind.. from World of Warcraft.. Chapter #3 up.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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