Careless Whisper Posted May 12, 2008 Report Share Posted May 12, 2008 [align=center]--Just thought I'd share this little free verse poem with you all.--_______________________________________________________ Life is Light.Death is Darkness.Many live in a state of Eternal Dusk.Many might have seen Light at one time, but It is forgotten.Many look into the Darkness with their Ultraviolet Vision and see Gray as Light.Like a drop of Poison in the Pristine Water, It corrupts the whole.Yet in the Land of Eternal Dusk, Poison falls like Rain.Tears are shed when the Poison first touches the Many’s skin.But as the Many grow, they harden their Skin from Poison.At first, it seems good. No more hurt. No more pain.However, some of the Young may find that they cannot feel Color anymore,Who was a Friend to them and also a Friend of Light.Color has faded to Gray to them and continues further into the Darkness. The Young do not want This.The Butterflies of Light, who sometimes come and play in the GrayHave shown them a glimpse of Color.The Young want to feel how they used to, when their Skin wasn’t so hard.Sometimes the Young fly over to the Light with their Friends.The Young can feel the Rain in the Light.They wince, but as eyes open, their Skin feels softer.It is a strange feeling to the Young,But some of the Young don’t like the Rain, because it makes the Poison hurt more.And yet, some of the Young like the Friends and Rain more than they hate the pain.Many around these Young think them Foolish, because they are softening their Skin. However, these Young have found Friends in the Butterflies.The Butterflies tell Stories of their Father, who gives them Light and Color.These Young say would like to see the Butterflies’ Father.The Butterflies tell the Young that they must first let their Father’s Rain first Clean them.The Young are afraid of the pain of Poison, but they Believe the Light will be Better.So as they are Washed Completely by the Rain,Their hard Moth Wings melt away.And in Radiance, they are replaced with Butterfly Wings.The feel Lightness is the Radiant Light.They take flight with their Brothers and Sisters and travel toward the Light to meet HimDusk has turned to Dawn and the Light of the Son has risen over the mountain.If you one of the Young and not yet grown hardened in Darkness,Please fly with me to play in the Rain.There is much Color in the Light.Come meet my Father.He is Life and Light.He is Love.________________________________________________________ --Please, discuss and comment. This took me all night to get right.--[/align] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ultimate Ryan Posted May 12, 2008 Report Share Posted May 12, 2008 *claps* BRAVO!!! *clapsnice poem san-meti Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hioco Posted May 12, 2008 Report Share Posted May 12, 2008 erm hi nice poem but...THIS IS THE GRAPHICS SECTION!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyber Altair Posted May 12, 2008 Report Share Posted May 12, 2008 erm hi nice poem but...THIS IS THE GRAPHICS SECTION!!! Q4T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careless Whisper Posted May 12, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 12, 2008 ..oops...Didn't notice that..Sorry, can someone move this to the correct section then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careless Whisper Posted May 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 Bump. I'm gonna take this poem with me on the "Poet of the Year" seminar, this will really strike their attention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoshIcy Posted May 21, 2008 Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 some parts, despite being a free verse poem sound longer than they could be. i could easily see this as a short comic selling like 100'000 copies though ^_^. the overall poem, maybe it was because of the alignment, i couldnt get my eyes hooked onto it. good though and saddening like it should, a small glimpse of nostalgia and hope. but i get the awful feeling that this was rushed. how many times did you look it over? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careless Whisper Posted May 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 I looked over it like 50 times before getting it finaled Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoshIcy Posted May 21, 2008 Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 I looked over it like 50 times before getting it finaled lol, i like it just the same 9/10 ^_^... maybe the sense of "Lost" is the intent as i read this. i can relate to the second stanza too, alot of kids in hawaii grow up knowing that feeling..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careless Whisper Posted May 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 Thank you Icy. It means alot to me that this appeals to you so much. I started to cry when I first read it to myself, because it made me think of all the friends that I had to leave behind in the past. This is more of the Christianity side, so it's kind of ironic for me to write somethin like this, because I'm an agnostic, someone who doesn't care about religion at all, someone who is unsure of what to believe but will not seek the answers. This is an ironic thing for me to write. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoshIcy Posted May 21, 2008 Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 Thank you Icy. It means alot to me that this appeals to you so much. I started to cry when I first read it to myself' date=' because it made me think of all the friends that I had to leave behind in the past. This is more of the Christianity side, so it's kind of ironic for me to write somethin like this, because I'm an agnostic, someone who doesn't care about religion at all, someone who is unsure of what to believe but will not seek the answers. This is an ironic thing for me to write.[/quote'] lol me too, alot of what i write is religious, even though like yourself I am agnostic. it just seems to express the emotion properly. and i do like it, because i basically had to leave one realm for another and leave all my friends behind... but alas, my point is adressed anything else... lets continue in pm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikaeo Posted May 21, 2008 Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 wow, i must say i loved this poem, what it says to me is that people harden themselves from kindness because it is easy, but when they allow the kindness to enter their lives, even thoguh it might be difficult, they end up loving life more, kinda. great poem, 9.6/10 (i havent read poetry in a while, this might make me start again) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careless Whisper Posted May 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 That's good. Because, this will not be the last of my poetry. Lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RestLess-BoTics Posted May 21, 2008 Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 I think it's incredible. How long did it take you to write this? -Glasstin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careless Whisper Posted May 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 Took me a few weeks, when I finished getting it as long as I wanted to get it, I looked over it nearly 50 times, correcting and changing stuff so it was catchy and so it tells a very good story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RestLess-BoTics Posted May 21, 2008 Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 Took me a few weeks' date=' when I finished getting it as long as I wanted to get it, I looked over it nearly 50 times, correcting and changing stuff so it was catchy and so it tells a very good story.[/quote'] Wow, weeks? I thought these things take about a few days at most... :|Lol... And all by yourself?Again, great work! -Glasstin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careless Whisper Posted May 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 Well, maybe not all by myself, I had alittle help from my friend Scott. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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