Revenant Card series wee

[Tr4gic]

[Loleo]

Cool! For the "If this card were to be sent to the GY" effect where are you sending the Warrior from? Hand, deck, or field.

Does knight summoning Creeper use up your normal summon? If it does why would you ever activate the effect to normal summon it from your hand?

For the XYZ monsters does the Catalyst token need to match the Rank?

For the First XYZ first effect do you mean to lower the ATK and DE of all monsters your opponent controls by 300 and inflict 300 damage because monsters can't "Take damage"

For the Draw 4 discard 1 effect it should probably be draw 4 discard 3 and the reveal the kept card if it is a level 5 or lower fiend you can Special Summon it.

 

[Pommelo]

Aight, some comments here @Tr4gic

Monarch Asmodeus - Xyz... doesn't work like that. You can't make a Rank 8 Xyz and ask players to use a Level 5 monster and a Token that is Level 4, Xyzs require monsters of their same Level, and you can add an alternative method of Summoning, like Beatrice, Lady of the Eternal. In truth, Tokens absolutely cannot become material for a Xyz Monster, because Tokens cannot exist outside of the field, and materials aren't treated as being on the field. This card is far more suited to be a Synchro monster since you can use Tokens for that (heck, you can even make Tuner Tokens if needed). First bulleted effect makes no sense. Deal 300 dmg to each opposing creature? The hell, this is not MtG, pal xD. You can reduce the opponen'ts ATK by 300, or inflict damage to your opponent equal to the number of monsters they control x 300 to name a couple of examples, but not this.

Paladin - Same case as the above for the summoning. Other than that, drawing 4 cards and discarding one is immensely overpowered. Loleo gave a good suggestion. And yeah, you don't "play" cards, you activate/Summon/set etc, but "play" is a term you should avoid in your cards.

Marksman - Alright, simple and effective. A bit in the weak side of the spectrum, you can buff it a LITTLE.

Caster - Like the other cards, has grammar issues, but is a fine card overall.

Knight - Pay 100, summon from Deck. This is a big no, that kind of effect often comes with a heavy cost, most Level 4 monsters that do anything of the sort would tribute themselves or another card you control, discard or pay much more LP.

Creeper - Has the same basic effect as the others, so you can give this guy something else.

~~~~~

That's it from my part. Remember that, while my comments might sound harsh, they're made with the full intention to be constructive so you can become a better card maker. Please treat the criticism in a positive way. See ya around :D

[Loleo]

1 hour ago, Rayfield Lumina said:

Aight, some comments here @Tr4gic

Monarch Asmodeus - Xyz... doesn't work like that. You can't make a Rank 8 Xyz

I didn't notice it was a rank 8!

and ask players to use a Level 5 monster and a Token that is Level 4, Xyzs require monsters of their same Level, and you can add an alternative method of Summoning, like Beatrice, Lady of the Eternal. In truth, Tokens absolutely cannot become material for a Xyz Monster, because Tokens cannot exist outside of the field, and materials aren't treated as being on the field.

I forgot we had this conversation recently

This card is far more suited to be a Synchro monster since you can use Tokens for that (heck, you can even make Tuner Tokens if needed). First bulleted effect makes no sense. Deal 300 dmg to each opposing creature? The hell, this is not MtG, pal xD. You can reduce the opponen'ts ATK by 300, or inflict damage to your opponent equal to the number of monsters they control x 300 to name a couple of examples, but not this.

Paladin - Same case as the above for the summoning. Other than that, drawing 4 cards and discarding one is immensely overpowered. Loleo gave a good suggestion. And yeah, you don't "play" cards, you activate/Summon/set etc, but "play" is a term you should avoid in your cards.

Marksman - Alright, simple and effective. A bit in the weak side of the spectrum, you can buff it a LITTLE.

Caster - Like the other cards, has grammar issues, but is a fine card overall.

Knight - Pay 100, summon from Deck. This is a big no, that kind of effect often comes with a heavy cost, most Level 4 monsters that do anything of the sort would tribute themselves or another card you control, discard or pay much more LP.

Well to be fair the summoned monster is pretty weak it's a OPT at the start of your turn (so it is slow) and it might use up your normal summon.

Creeper - Has the same basic effect as the others, so you can give this guy something else.

Agreed

~~~~~

That's it from my part. Remember that, while my comments might sound harsh, they're made with the full intention to be constructive so you can become a better card maker. Please treat the criticism in a positive way. See ya around :D

 

[Tr4gic]

oops. 2 things though, i looked it up on the wiki and it said tokens can be used as materials and also the creeper is meant to be the basic card of the batch o hats why I didnt give it an effect

also the marksmen is supposed to be weak cuz his buff

 

just double checked with tokens your right

 

btw cool art

 

5 hours ago, Rayfield Lumina said:

drawing 4 cards and discarding one is immensely overpowered

is 2 cards better??

[Pommelo]

27 minutes ago, Tr4gic said:

btw cool art

ty :D

28 minutes ago, Tr4gic said:

is 2 cards better??

You got to consider this: effects that draw + discard are very powerful. You might thing that a drawing effect can be balanced by discarding, like, I draw 5, I discard 5 and lulz. This is not true because adding resources to the GY is very important in today's game, so you're doing 2 good things in one: draw cards and thinning the deck, then once you have the bunch in your hand you select which to keep in hand and send the exact resources you want to the GY. That's why, for instance, Graceful Charity is banned to hell. If you give an effect of sorts to a Xyz Monster that you can activate it twice total by detaching, then we got a problem. On top of everything, it has that auto Fiend Special Summoning. In resume, I'd say draw 1 discard 1 sounds fair, if you want to push it to the limit, 2/2, but that's walking on the rope xD.

[Tr4gic]

Right thanks, im not really caught up on meta lol

[Loleo]

16 hours ago, Rayfield Lumina said:

ty :D

You got to consider this: effects that draw + discard are very powerful. You might thing that a drawing effect can be balanced by discarding, like, I draw 5, I discard 5 and lulz. This is not true because adding resources to the GY is very important in today's game, so you're doing 2 good things in one: draw cards and thinning the deck, then once you have the bunch in your hand you select which to keep in hand and send the exact resources you want to the GY. That's why, for instance, Graceful Charity is banned to hell. If you give an effect of sorts to a Xyz Monster that you can activate it twice total by detaching, then we got a problem. On top of everything, it has that auto Fiend Special Summoning. In resume, I'd say draw 1 discard 1 sounds fair, if you want to push it to the limit, 2/2, but that's walking on the rope xD.

I'm not entirely convinced either way

Draw 4 3 to bottom of deck is the generic link 4 Saryuja's thing. So weaker than that. I think for the monster like this I would play it as Draw 2, Discard one of the drawn cards then you can Special summon the other if it is a fiend. As we said this is going to become a Synchro? So if we keep the statline and make it a HOPD effect I think that would be best (On the second effect only?)

[Tr4gic]

alr alr but one thing, i have no idea what an HOPD is T-T

[Pommelo]

Just now, Loleo said:

I'm not entirely convinced either way

Draw 4 3 to bottom of deck is the generic link 4 Saryuja's thing. So weaker than that. I think for the monster like this I would play it as Draw 2, Discard one of the drawn cards then you can Special summon the other if it is a fiend. As we said this is going to become a Synchro? So if we keep the statline and make it a HOPD effect I think that would be best (On the second effect only?)

Nobody said it's becoming a Synchro lol, I just said the card was much more suited to be a Synchro since it require materials with uneven levels, and Tr4gic never replied to that particular xD. Now, things change if it's truly becoming Synchro. Since the effect could be at Synchro Summoning only, it can be stronger. Take T.G. Hyper Librarian as reference for instance, that bast*** lets you draw 1 card per other Synchro Summon (hence why it's limited). Draw 2 + discard and SS the other sounds good only if at Synchro Summon.

Just now, Tr4gic said:

alr alr but one thing, i have no idea what an HOPD is T-T

lmao. Welp, they're clauses

HOPT: Hard Once per turn. It mentions the card's name, e.g. "You can only use each effect of X once per turn". Doing that, you prevent that card itself or ther copies of it to re-activate the effect. It's a harder clause than the classic "Once per turn, you can do X"

OPD: One per duel

[Tr4gic]

Just now, Rayfield Lumina said:

Nobody said it's becoming a Synchro lol, I just said the card was much more suited to be a Synchro since it require materials with uneven levels, and Tr4gic never replied to that particular xD. Now, things change if it's truly becoming Synchro. Since the effect could be at Synchro Summoning only, it can be stronger. Take T.G. Hyper Librarian as reference for instance, that bast*** lets you draw 1 card per other Synchro Summon (hence why it's limited). Draw 2 + discard and SS the other sounds good only if at Synchro Summon.

lmao. Welp, they're clauses

HOPT: Hard Once per turn. It mentions the card's name, e.g. "You can only use each effect of X once per turn". Doing that, you prevent that card itself or ther copies of it to re-activate the effect. It's a harder clause than the classic "Once per turn, you can do X"

OPD: One per duel

ohhhhh ok makes sense

[Loleo]

Just now, Rayfield Lumina said:

OPD: One per duel

Well I just realized there is no such thing as a Soft OPD because that would just mean once while this card is face-up on the field.

[Tr4gic]

right. I think I got it. im gonna look up how synchros work and ill be back with the rework

ok for the synchro i just would put "1 "Crystal(token type)" Tuner + 1 non-Tuner "Fiend" monsters

[Loleo]

2 hours ago, Tr4gic said:

right. I think I got it. im gonna look up how synchros work and ill be back with the rework

ok for the synchro i just would put "1 "Crystal(token type)" Tuner + 1 non-Tuner "Fiend" monsters

You can just say "1 'Catalyst token' + 1+ non-Tuner Fiend monsters" 

Just name specifically the catalyst token allow for more than 1 non-Tuner and Fiend doesn't need to be in quotes because it is a type.

[Dokutah]

as mention before the Xyz monster is better suited to be change into synchro monster due to main deck monster having low levels and token generation (and yes token cannot be use for Xyz monster) that being said if you still wanna have Xyz monster though (especially since all the xyz it still has detach gimmick of Xyz monster) you can try to chalenge your self making it double featuring both Xyz and Synchro like Mecha Phantom Beast or Virtual World Archetypes but of course that means you have to had main deck monster that manipulate levels since all of them less than 8.

also the Xyz Needs to list the material this way: "2 Level 8 "Revenant" Fiend monster" since proper Xyz require 2 (or maybe more) non-token material with the same Level

Asmodius: hmmmm the closest we have to irl "damage the monster" probably like Rocket Warrior anime effect or Alien archetype stat reducing counters. welp lets make it simple by intrepeting it as stat reduction. 300 reduction in both stat is pretty small  but it is permanent lingering reduction. its just the second option of popping S/T is much more impactful. honestly 2 mat rank 8 with only 2500 ATK can have much better effect especially since the material is xenophobic

Paladin: almost same case as asmodius but the 2nd option is ridiculously powerful. its soo powerful that i need to teach you the infamous Yugioh (kinda official) advantage math~ so bear with me for a sec...

````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

okay for detach 1 you get to draw 4 with discard 1 and if you lucky you can summon 1 fiend monster with level 5 or lower.

in advantage math any thing you lose from your field , attached on xyz , or hand  (either sent to GY, detached, Banished, or shuffled back to deck) is count as minus with the number of minus is based of the number of cards lost

(example: discard 1 card to GY is -1, discard 2 cards is -2)

of course the opposite is pluses, draws, special summon, stuff that put extra things on hand and your field more than the number of cards you had before

from this we know that:

> detach and discard each is minus, so [discard 1] + [detach 1]= 2, there fore its -2

> drawing and special summon is plus. albeit its special case in which we dont count the summon  for now since its already part of the draw (also bit too confusing for you) so we count only draw this time, [Draw 4]= +4

so now we have a -2 and +4. now we subtract the plus with minus for our final answer, 4 - 2= 2 therefore this card at its best its +2 (well its technically +0 but that math is too complicated lel, get the basic right first lel)

sounds like small number right? but the thing in yugioh even a +0 can create big and hardly fair advantage. pot of greed is +1 and that card is banned. so...paladin +2 is....yesh dangerous

```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

and thats conclude our class! its recess time~

main deck monster in general: welp it has this anti-destruction effect that send warrior types. but my question is...it sent from where exactly?  you need to specify from where

Marksmen: the effect is fitting for casual level i guess? i do hope more ngl

Caster: currently the only ones that create the token and its a under-stat-ed level 5. protection is nice but you can either make this level 4 or if you keep the level 5 you might need to bump the stat higher. i prefer the former

Knight: the summon effect almost amazing honestly.....but, its very slow. the way its worded that the effect activate before the draw Phase of your turn which makes the effect trigger the next turn  after the turn you summon this...making it even slower than trap card and thus kinda bad

Creeper: the ones knights summon. dont have much to comment tbh