Careless Whisper Posted June 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 Heck no...I just do this to show my appreciation and feelings to Stephanie, and because I'm bored...lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careless Whisper Posted June 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 Updated*....2 New Stanzas...Hope you like them... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoshIcy Posted June 20, 2008 Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 love the style everything is near perfect, I like it too much to notice possible errors... ugh this makes me think too much Its near killing me, but thank you Meti Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careless Whisper Posted June 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 lol..Love and Torture your minds..that what I love to do...lol'Â Â -"Thanks Icyblue...I'm gonna end this when I get to 16 Stanzas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careless Whisper Posted June 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 *Updated,,,New verse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted June 20, 2008 Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 This poem makes me feel as if you don't speak English as a first language. (If you do, please don't take offence, if you don't, then I got it right.) There are odd grammar errors and spelling errors. Also, there are strange wordings that really ruin this poem, along with words that either feel really abstract or just plain wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careless Whisper Posted June 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 I think you just don't understand the fact that I'm purposely making this poem very abstract, it requires alot of thinking, and it doesn't looks good from an obvious point of view, but when you take time to think about it, the rhythm is changing every stanza with my own manipulation... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoshIcy Posted June 20, 2008 Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 Sadly some lines dont work well, but I get where you tried to do it..... the "atom" analogy wasn't a good choice imo.... I get the rhythm and what you tried but keep most lines simplistic and not so... (cant find the term a more feeling)... I'm sure you understand.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted June 21, 2008 Report Share Posted June 21, 2008 Meti: Regardless of what you tried to make with it, it does not look good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careless Whisper Posted July 23, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2008 *UBER BUMP!!!!* Because I finished the Poem! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Death Metal Posted July 23, 2008 Report Share Posted July 23, 2008 Glad to see your back, meti. Nice poem, but it needs work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careless Whisper Posted August 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2008 bump the abstractness of this poem... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silencerleader Posted August 17, 2008 Report Share Posted August 17, 2008 Nice poem Meti -_- Very nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careless Whisper Posted August 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2008 Thanx for spamming Silencer... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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