Daisuke28 Posted June 20, 2008 Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 Hello! This is my first card, I tried to do it The most balanced I can... Please tell me if it is too overpowered. Second image by brokentrain, Devianart =)! My OCG Isin´t very good, cause Im not english, but Ill Try to do my best =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIBONE LUIS Posted June 20, 2008 Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 bad OCG it should be"As long as this card remains face-up on the field all warrior-type monsters gain 500 ATK points, and decreases their DEF by 300.When this card is destroyed discard 1 warrior-type from your hand, then this card is added to the top of your deck. Also the card's name should be wroten as "Keomon, Bringer Of The Dark World", the last 3 parts needed to be in CAPS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisuke28 Posted June 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 Thank you very much =), Ill Fix it now =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisuke28 Posted June 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 Fixed, How is it now? =) And remember, it is my first card made =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zorc Necrophades Posted June 20, 2008 Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 I think it's pretty cool, 8/10. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIBONE LUIS Posted June 20, 2008 Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 i like it good concept 9/10...keep up the good work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisuke28 Posted June 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 Thank You both, and Thank you Tibone Luis, For helping me with the OCG! =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantasy Dreamz Posted June 20, 2008 Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 your ocg is bad.......... and for the last effect, it doesnt give option so if this card is destroyed, you had to discard a warrior to bring it to the top of the deck............. this you can lose a duel easily with this........... and the fact that its a warrior itself boost it to 2700 atk........ overpower (sorry).. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisuke28 Posted June 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 Thanks For telling me ! Ill Fix it in a moment =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisuke28 Posted June 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 Fixed, Is it better now? =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantasy Dreamz Posted June 20, 2008 Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 thats better..... more balance.......... but still have ocg errors..... ill say... 7/10*good for any warrior deck... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIBONE LUIS Posted June 20, 2008 Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 I'd sa that's a finished product my friend 9.5/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantasy Dreamz Posted June 20, 2008 Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 "While this card is on the field, increase the ATK of all Warrior-Type monsters you control by 500 and decrease their DEF by 300. When this card is destroyed, you can send 2 Warrior-Type monsters from your hand to the Graveyard to place this card on top of your Deck." *maybe this is more correct... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisuke28 Posted June 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 Fixed =D! And added a new card, It may have OCG Errors, dont blame me xP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarrentheLight Posted June 20, 2008 Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 The second card seems bad as a Dark World card, and the effect seems broken. Good concept, but it's more for a Warrior deck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIBONE LUIS Posted June 20, 2008 Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 yup OCG errors....*sigh*..."During each of your standby phases" just to start off with and some commas are unneeded..and its called th level of the monster not the "stars" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisuke28 Posted June 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 Fixed =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIBONE LUIS Posted June 20, 2008 Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 still to many commas..sorry for all of the criticizing...the begginin of every part of a cards name should be capitalized Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
╬「Selatcia」╬ Posted June 20, 2008 Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 Pic on the second card could be better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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