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Horror and blonde Jokes


♫Griffinsusername♫

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Ok here are some jokes that I heard from my friends:

 

1. So there was a person that was buying a new house. The neighbor said that the house was haunted. The first night in her new house, she heard n an ominous voice, "When the log rolls over we'll all be dead. So she walks in to the bathroom to wash her face to calm herself down and heard the same Voice say, "when the log rolls over, we'll all be dead" She looks in the toilet and sees 5 ants on a turd saying, "When the log rolls over, we'll all be dead"

 

2. There is a blonde that is checking into a hotel and the clerk says, "there is only 1 room but it is haunted" The blonde doesn't care and goes into her room. She is tired from her long day at work and doesn't turn the lights on and jumps on the bed so she can sleep. She hears a voice saying, "I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you." The blonde dies of shock and they find her body the next day. another blonde checks into the haunted room and is tired from his long day at work and doesn't turn the lights on and jumps on the bed so he can sleep. She hears a voice saying, "I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you." The blonde dies of shock and they find her body the next day. A brunnete checks into the haunted room and turns the lights on to find a young boy in the corner picking his nose saying, "I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you."

 

3. A man walks into a bar and tells the bar keeper, "Do you want to hear a blonde joke?" Bartender says that he is a blonde. the buff man next to him says, "well i am a blonde." the Biker to his left says, "Well I am a blonde." The Bartender says, "Now do you want to tell us that joke?" And the dude says, "well no. I don't want to explain it 5 times"

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Nice. Blonde:

 

3 men work on a scaffold.

 

Man 1: *opens lunch* Man, TUNA? I HATE TUNA! IF MAH WIFE GIVES ME TUNA AGAIN I'LL COMMIT SUICIDE!

 

Man 2: *opens lunch* God, ICE CREAM? I'M LACTOSE INTOLERANT! IF MAH WIFE GIVES ME ICE CREAM AGAIN I'LL COMMIT SUICIDE, TOO.

 

BLONDE: *opens lunch* Cookies? I HATE COOKIES! IF I HAVE COOKIES AGAIN, I'LL KILL MYSELF!

 

*The next day, Man 1, 2 and the Blonde have Tuna, Ice Cream and Cookies. They all die....@ the funeral.....*

 

Wife 1: If I knew he hated Tuna, I wouldn't have given it to him....

 

Wife 2: If I knew he was Lactose Intolerant, I wouldn't have given him Ice Cream.

 

Blonde's Wife: He packs his on lunch....

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