The Cake is a Lie - Poem by Umbra

[Umbra]

I tried not to make too many actual references to Portal in this one. Make them more sublime and hidden beneath metaphors and strange wordings.

 

And before you complain: It's not supposed to rhyme. At all. Anyways, here it is. Enjoy.

 

All she ever said

all she made me believe

were lies

All I remember

are her words

her orders and her commands

 

I'm just the last of many

to fall for her lies

she turns us crazy

with her voice

and her speeches

 

The other ones

have told their stories

written in blood

they give advice

that I can trust

because they are not her

 

She made me

kill my friend

toss her into the pit

of roaring flames

she went down without a word

but in my heart she was screaming

 

I make my way

through this maze

I know I will find her

and take her down

I have escaped from her control

and I'm ready to fight back

 

Now I found her

it was worth it

I broke her heart

but I will break more

[RestLess-BoTics]

Wow.

That's pretty emotional.

 

Excellent job, Umbra. You're another very talented poet. :)

 

-Glasstin

[Umbra]

Wow.

That's pretty emotional.

 

Excellent job' date=' Umbra. You're another very talented poet. :)

 

-Glasstin[img']http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee204/glasstin10/emo-fish.gif[/img]

 

I guess so. (Although I'm far from the best poet on this site, both geographically and talentwise) Thank you.

[Guest JoshIcy]

Not bad at all... Your others were better imo. But try to stay away from starting lines in subject connecting words, (dont know the name). [Of, That, To...] all terms that connect a subject.... Before I go on, let me know if you want more of my 2cents lol

 

@below: I do understand your style, and it does have a nice flavor. Everything works, and has its spot in what your doing. Emotion is there, everything is. Tbh yes, go for what works but look for that extra spark in each line and see how you can make it "yours" and not a sentence.....

[Umbra]

I think that's enough, Icy. That of which you speak is just a writing style that I personally like. I can understand if you don't.

[Frlf]

Question: Cake is her friend dead or its the lier? >.<

 

Its nice tough >:]. Sweet poems you make Umbra >:]

[Umbra]

Question: Cake is her friend dead or its the lier? >.<

 

Its nice tough >:]. Sweet poems you make Umbra >:]

 

Assuming you talk about the 4th verse' date=' I knew it would be hard from the start for people who haven't actually played Portal.

 

[spoiler=Spoilers for the Portal plot']

At a late point in the game, you come across an object called the Weighted Companion Cube. It's a little box with pink hearts on the sides. You use it as a tool during that particular part of the game, until you eventually are ordered to kill it by tossing it into a pit of fire. The cube is referred to as her "friend" which she killed. And the last two sentences refer to the repeated statements in Portal that "the weighted companion cube cannot speak".

 

 

[Arekku_Koro]

Lol. I love portal. 10/10. Maximum hillarity.

[Umbra]

Lol. I love portal. 10/10. Maximum hillarity.

 

Then I suppose you got the 6th verse aswell?

[Arekku_Koro]

Lol. I love portal. 10/10. Maximum hillarity.

 

Then I suppose you got the 6th verse aswell?

 

Yes. ^_^

[Umbra]

Lol. I love portal. 10/10. Maximum hillarity.

 

Then I suppose you got the 6th verse aswell?

 

Yes. ^_^

 

Consider yourself lucky then; Haven't you played Portal, you have missed a part of life.

[Guest xbon]

Very good poem!!!!

10/10

(the below tag is a spoiler) :O

[spoiler=The Friend's name]

The friend that she's talking about in the fourth verse is

 

 

...

 

...

 

...

Companion Cube, a friend you get in one of the middle-last puzzles.

 

[Umbra]

Thank you. And yes, I was refering to the CC.

[Careless Whisper]

Not bad at all... Your others were better imo. But try to stay away from starting lines in subject connecting words' date=' (dont know the name). [Of, That, To...'] all terms that connect a subject.... Before I go on, let me know if you want more of my 2cents lol

 

@below: I do understand your style, and it does have a nice flavor. Everything works, and has its spot in what your doing. Emotion is there, everything is. Tbh yes, go for what works but look for that extra spark in each line and see how you can make it "yours" and not a sentence.....

 

I think that's enough' date=' Icy. That of which you speak is just a writing style that I personally like. I can understand if you don't.[/quote']

 

I personally agree with Icyblue...But I also understand that Umbra has his own style, just like everyone else.

 

Icy: As requested via PM, you asked me to say if you are being harsh? Well I do not say that it is harsh when you give constructive critisism towards other members as long as you understand and respect the fact that some members have different styles from your own.