The Lone Ninja Posted June 24, 2008 Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 This is the chorus of a song I have been trying to writ let me know what ya think. "Just blink! You won't miss a thing, and its a sign that we're all the same.Just blink! Everyone does it, even if theres some who don't choose to show it.Just blink! If you do it well, and you do it right, you'll see what, I was trying to tell!" not copied of any song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soul Of The Heart Posted June 24, 2008 Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 Good letters. And Rhymes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted June 24, 2008 Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 The lines feel a little too long, for some reason. If I were you, I would have halved the lines, and threw in more "Just blink!". [spoiler=Umbra style (Probably worse)]Just blink! You won't miss a thingJust blink! It's a sign we're all the same.Just blink! Everyone does itJust blink! Even if there's some who don't choose to show it.Just blink! If you do it well, and you do it rightJust blink! you'll see what I was trying to tell! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Lone Ninja Posted June 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 hmm good Idea guys I thank you for your feedback! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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