RickiMinaj Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 [align=center]A dawn i SeeThe obliterating PainI felt it allYet i Can'tjust Can'tGet Over the PainOf the Ones I loveTruly and DeeplyAs Great FriendsDisappearingthey are right beforemy very ownReal EyesAnd then II see, that weMust Move onBut What ifWhat if i Can'tWhat If II Just Want toTo Live In the Past[/align][align=center]Version 2To see them all Going and Leaving me behindShowing me No Way nor a Path to followTaking there spirit's, their joy, their happiness away with themI feel like a Mouse, among the snakes, all along again, just waiting till someone comes back and holds my hand againSomeone to give me a shoulder to cry onsomeone who wont leave me all alone in the darknessPlease Be there for mePlease...Please...Please be there for me.[/align] This is a going away poem i wrote for a great friend on this sitesimplicity ninja In addition to all the other great members that Left. It truly was, and still is a Great tragedy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dad Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Great words gphaku. I know how you feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parting Shot Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Well-written, and a nice tribute to the two members. Though, I think Meti changed his mind and is staying, though I can't say the same for Simplicity.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Frostpaw Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Meti left?! That is tragic. It's too bad that Meti and Simplicity left. They were 2 awesome members. EDIT: Oh, it's a relief that Meti might have changed his mind. But still, Simplicity left... that's really tragic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RickiMinaj Posted June 27, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Meti left?! That is tragic. It's too bad that Meti and Simplicity left. They were 2 awesome members. nometi's still herei thought he left Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Frostpaw Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Yeah, I just read what Darth Browarod posted. I edited my previous post. Simplicity was an awesome member, and I will create a sig just in case if he ever comes back. If he does come back, I'll give him the sig. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RickiMinaj Posted June 27, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 updated with a new poemand color coded Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dad Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Me like, alot. Second version is more epic. Good job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KAJN Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 [align=center]AWWW I might be back but after a period of weeks or even months. I really am getting a little bored looking at the forum all white. Thanks for the emotional poem.~~~~~ Simplicity ~~~~~ [/align] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careless Whisper Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 ---Just then, the door bursted open and in walked a sallow man, dressed in blackened clothes. He walked to the center of the room, as the others made the way clear and silently, and compassionately, he said, "Sorry for bursting unannounced, I thought I heard some good poetry and I couldn't resist the erge to hear more." Meti smiled widely, happy to see his friends again.__________________________________________________________________________ lol..There's my comment. =.= Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RacecaR Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Very nice poem. Sounds like doctor who... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RickiMinaj Posted June 27, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 arigato, ill try to add a new poem tommorow. I promise ^^Thnx for the nice rates and commentsand come back soon simplicity ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dad Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 ooc: gphaku, souldn't you be sleeping? lol Who's doctor who? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 As Poetrician, I'll give my honest opinion. I respect your style, but this just makes the little critic-voice in my head go bite my hypothalamus. 1. Random capitalization is never good. 2. Repeating words over and over again is never good. 3. Colors are never good. 4. Mistypes are never good. If you feel that I'm criticizing something that shouldn't be criticized, my mailbox is open for flaming. I might just ignore you to death though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willieh Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 As Poetrician' date=' I'll give my honest opinion. I respect your style, but this just makes the little critic-voice in my head go bite my hypothalamus. 1. Random capitalization is never good. 2. Repeating words over and over again is never good. 3. Colors are never good. 4. Mistypes are never good. If you feel that I'm criticizing something that shouldn't be criticized, my mailbox is open for flaming. I might just ignore you to death though.[/quote']poetrician? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Yes, Poetrician. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyhe Posted June 28, 2008 Report Share Posted June 28, 2008 Yeah!With these poems,let us honor those who had departed from us for their immense contribution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RickiMinaj Posted June 28, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2008 Yeah!With these poems' date='let us honor those who had departed from us for their immense contribution.[/quote'] Yes, yes we should, and we should also wish good luck for them in the future Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoshIcy Posted June 28, 2008 Report Share Posted June 28, 2008 Wow... Version 2 has me in tears :( Great Poem Gphaku ^_^, and yes it really does have me in tears lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
v8561v Posted June 28, 2008 Report Share Posted June 28, 2008 Wow, that's nice, a great tribute to those members...I know, I have too friends who departed (no, they're not dead). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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