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Bloody Mary: My life story PG-13 Chapter 2 is up.

~Emo~

By ~Emo~
in Creative Writing

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~Emo~ Newbie

~Emo~

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Rated PG-13(Crude humor, Mild language, Terror)

This is my story about my small experiences With her. I will tell what really happened to me and I'll add fiction to make it a little more exciting.

 

 

Intro: Why Me?

 

It all started at a party, 2 years ago, The night my parents went missing. I was Talking to my best friend, Trever. "What's Kat doing in the bathroom?" I asked. "Some Ritual." "Which one?" "Bloody Mary."

 

" I heard that old legend." I said. "It's so stupid." Said Trever. "All fake, only suckers believe in this stuff." I said. I was very stupid back then, but i know better, now.

 

Please Rate.

"Why is she even doing this?" "Cause we are all giving her 5 bucks to do it." "WHAT?!?!" I shouted. "Shut-up you two," "she is starting." said Alicia.

 

Then we heard her start,"Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary....." "What time is it?" I asked. "12:00." said Alicia. "Are you kidding m....." "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

 

"Kay! Are you okay?" Then she walked out of the room... "Gotcha!" "Jerk!"

"You Suck!" "You really Scared us!" "Sorry" she said.

 

After we fell asleep, the cops woke us all up. "Boy your parents are gone, I'm afraid." "......." "oh crap.." "Do you know who did this?" "No tracks evidence, nothing." After that we all went to Trever's House. "I know who did this." "Who?" "Mary."

 

After this I realized After my Parents I was the only one left. The only one between her and her revenge. I knew She would come for me next.....

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Kale Newbie

Kale

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i have one word: weird....

 

a way to fix this would be to separate the dialogue into separate lines, and tell us who is saying it...

 

that way we can actually understand the point way easier.... ^_^

 

as this has no duel, i have no idea what kind of fan fic this is.... isnt a fan fic supposed to be about the Yu-Gi-Oh! tv show/anime? O.o

 

anyway, change the way you write your dialogue and describe a bit more, then it will be loads better.

 

hope i helped,

 

-Kale

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~Emo~ Newbie

~Emo~

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Chapter 1: People can lick too.

 

 

"Hey, Freddy!" A boy shouted. "Hey Kyle." I replied. "You won't believe this!" Kyle said. "What?" I said. "We are going to an all girl slumber party!" Kyle said.

 

 

"Great! Only one problem you forgot." I said. "What?" He said. "We are NOT girls!" I said. "Yeah. But we got invited cause one of those chicks like you." "Like I care." I sneered. "God. Ever since your parents died you've been such a freikn baby." He said.

 

 

"Don't matter, I ain't goin." I replied. "Aw come on!" said Kyle. "No!" I shouted. "Come on, are you gonna treat your best friend like this?" He said. "Listen I am just too busy to go." I said. "What you gonna do? Go to that online goth 4 goth chat room mess with all there heads?" He asked. "No, not tonight any way." I said.

 

"Same old Freddy." He said. "Listen, I gotta go, later." I said. "Oh no you don't" He said. He then pulled me back and tried to be more persuasive. "Listen, Kay is gonna be there and you know I like her man." He pleaded. "OK, I'll go on one condition." I said. "What?" he replied. "If Janis even touches me I am leaving!" I said "Why?" he replied.

 

"You know Janis is a goth and I ain't to fond of her spirit channeling." I said. "What if I told you Janis is the one that likes you?" he said. "WHAT???? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????" I said. "No."

 

"Oh Crap, lets go we are late." I said. "Alright." And we left. But we stopped by a phone both and I called and go permission from my 25 Year-old sis, Amber.

 

When we got there Janis was standing, looked like she was waiting for something. She winked a me as we approached the door. "Hey guys." Said Janis as she opened the door for us. There were about five other girls there: Amy, Janis, Aron, Katie, and Kay. " Hey Guys!" said Kay. We were at Kay's house In case you were wondering. "Hi." I said.

 

After awhile we watched the movie: The Hills have Eyes. I anticipated too leave due too every scary part Janis would Grab on too me. She was a little taller than me but not that much.

 

Right before we went to bed, Kay suggested something. "Kay what is it?" I asked. "I know what were gonna do." "What?" Said Kyle. "Bloody Mary." I felt numb all over, the fact that were doing that almost made my cry. I then brought Kay's dog Pugsly, A Lab in the room. I snuggled into Janis as I herd Kay say in the Mirror, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary. She then walks out of the room.

 

"See? Nothing to worry about." She said. After Every one fell asleep, the dog would cry and come lick my hand. After awhile it stopped. In the morning I heard a Drip-Drip noise. Kay screamed. On the wall it said: "people can lick too"

 

We went to the police and explained what we knew. They said we might have some one copying Urban legends. "Real copy Cat." I muttered. "Boy whats on your hand?" said the chief of police. "hu?" I failed to realize the dogs slobber was on my hand. "Lets let are scientist analyze this. "Boy," Said Doc.Russel. "Has some one been licking your hand?" "Just the dog." "This is not dog DNA this Female, Human DNA." "There were five girls at the house so..." "Your not getting this boy! This DNA is from a white Female teenager who's been dead over 70 years..." "Did Blood Mary Kill the dog?" I asked. "Boy, I don't know....

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