My first card

[perfectchaoslemon]

I have a feeling that this card is overpowered because of the defense effect, even though it can only be used once. If it is, I'll try making a few more to see if they're any better. Anyways, rate and comment.

 

 

Beast / Effect:

 

This card cannot be special summoned. You can only normal summon or set this monster when your opponent's lifepoints are less than yours. This card's attack is equal to half of your lifepoints while its defense is equal to half of your opponent's lifepoints. When this monster is attacked in face-down defense position, you may pay 1000 lifepoints to increase this monster's defense by 2000 until the end of your opponent's battle phase. If this card is targeted by a trap or magic card, it is immediately destroyed.

 

 

credit for the picture goes to icewolf's_dark_place at freewebs.com

[Bankz]

5.7/10

[╬「Selatcia」╬]

A bit overpowered. Interesting effect though. 7.5/10

[vorrokhero1]

overpowered...

[Silas Angel]

[spoiler=suggestions to improve^_^]

"This card cannot be Special Summoned. You can only Normal Summon or Set this monster when your opponent's Life Points are less than yours. This card's ATK is equal to half of your Life Points while its DEF is equal to half of your opponent's lifepoints. When this monster is attacked in Face-down Defense Position, you can pay 1000 Life Points to increase this monster's DEF by 2000 until the end of your opponent's Battle Phase. If this card is targeted by a Trap or Spell card, it is immediately destroyed."

Special Summoned, Normal Summoned, and Set are always Capped. As are Life Points; they are never "lifepoints" When referin to the stats, put ATK and DEF instead of attack and defence. "May" is always "Can". Battle Phase is always Capped. "Trap" and "Spell" are also. It is never "Magic", always "Spell".

 

 

 

great card.. awesome idea! I love it: 8.2/10 ^_^

[TR_Headshot]

ok card 7/10

[RacecaR]

Balance is a bit radical. Your giving him pretty powerful powers, and pretty harsh lashbacks. The main issue would be OCG... Official card grammar. May I suggest this, since you are new. http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/showthread.php?tid=50712

 

Anyways, for a beginner, this is a good card. Especially out of other noobie's first cards I've seen.

[cassia]

I think it is too overpowered. Still pretty good. 8.8/10

[Saturn of Elemia]

This card has a good idea in it. The picture reminds me of Gaia's Liege from MTG (which is one of my favorite cards, but I digress). This card is best used in a Life gain deck or early in the duel. Some OCG errors. Overall, this is a really good card for your first attempt.

 

I give this card a 6/10. You have potential. I cannot wait to see more from you.

[=aTaLiG=]

a little overpowered...6/10..

[perfectchaoslemon]

I took everyone's advice, it's a little less overpowered now (at least I hope so). I'm a little more concerned about OCG now.

 

 

Fiend / Effect:

This card cannot be Special Summoned. You can only Normal Summon or Set this monster when your opponent's Life Points are less than yours. This card's ATK is equal to half of your Life Points and its DEF is equal to half of your opponent's Life Points. After every Battle Phase, when this monster attacks another monster or is attacked by another monster, decrease its ATK and DEF by 500. If you or your opponent gain or lose Life Points, the ATK and DEF of this monster are not affected. When this card is attacked in Face-Down Defense Position, its DEF is decreased by 1000 until the end of your opponent's Battle Phase. When this card is targeted by a Spell or Trap card, this monster is immediately destroyed.

 

I hope this works =/

[~ Chidori-Kun]

6/10` I don't like the effect