Seth Posted July 13, 2008 Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 Hey all! I have dsecided to start a fan fic! This will be my first ever so don't be too harsh. First of all I will introduce the characters![spoiler=Characters][spoiler=Main Protagonists]Eric Hansen11 Years Old (11/30)Water DeckHas bluish-green eyes. Straight dirty blonde hair that goes down to the bottom of his neck.[spoiler=Appearance] Michael Taylor11 Years Old (10/26)Darkness/Zombie DeckHas dark brown eyes. Short dirty blonde hair that he usually spikes up with gel at the front. Gregory Waplack11 Years Old (11/24)Dragon DeckHas hazlenut brown eyes. Wavy brown hair hair that is cut about average length. Adam Kieran11 Years Old (9/12)Light DeckHas very dark brown eyes. Dirty blonde hair that is a bit longer than the average cut. [spoiler=Main Antagonists]Hisoka??? (from the spirit world)Spellcaster Deck[spoiler=Appearance] Ryo12 Years Old (01/01)Fire DeckHas pale green eyes. Neck length hazlenut hair. Kazuki12 Years Old (01/10)Wind DeckHas pale green eyes. Neck length red hair. Jet Daichi19 Years Old (02/03)Dragon Deck (BEWD/REBD)Has emerald colored eyes. Brownish-blonde hair. Looks kind of like a mix between Seto Kaiba and Jack Atlas. Now onto the fanfic! [spoiler=Episode 1 - Opening Duel! Tag Team]Eric excitedly strode down the sidewalk over to his friend Michael’s house. He was excited because he had just found out that the YCO (Yu-Gi-Oh! Card Organization) had scheduled a tournament here in Topaz City! He couldn’t wait to tell Michael the good news! He turned the corner and began to run as fast as he could, he was just too excited! ********* Michael: So theirs really going to be a tournament here?Eric: Yeah! And the winner will be named the junior Topaz King!Just as Michael and Eric were about to walk out the door to tell their friend Gregory about the tournament, the phone rang.Mike’s Mom: Michael, could you get that?Michael: Yeah…He picked up the phone.Michael: HelloAdam: Hey, mike?Michael: Yeah, what’s up?Adam: We need some help, you know Ryo and Kazuki?Michael: Mhm, what about them?Adam: Well they’re kind of here and they’re looking for a duel.Michael: And you can’t duel them?Adam: Well, Greg’s here with me but we both don’t have our duel disk or our decks! We weren’t expecting anyone was going to challenge us to a duel!Michael: I see… Hey Eric! Got your duel disk?Eric took his backpack off and wipped out a duel disk.Eric: Of course!Michael: So where are you guys?Adam: Over by the field.Michael: Got it, we’ll be right over there! That's all for today, and no that wasn't the complete episode of episode 1! Just a sample of whats to come! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teh Joker Posted July 13, 2008 Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 The first chapter is short but it's pretty good and maybe you should try making the chapters a tad bit longer and cant wait for the duel to start.I likez it ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seth Posted July 13, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 Thanks Joker-kun! Like it says that was just the beginning of the first chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yogg-Saron Posted July 13, 2008 Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 Yay, I am one of the stars! :P Good chapter, I will be watching this fan-fic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadowGX Posted July 13, 2008 Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 I like it, I'll be watchin' it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted July 13, 2008 Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 No descriptions make Charlie go crazy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seth Posted July 13, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 Thanks to everyone!@Charlie-dono: what? And if anybody wants to help me with this fanfic, help would be appreciated! I suck at coming up with good duel ideas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted July 13, 2008 Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 We only have rough ideas of what the characters are doing and how they react to the environment around them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seth Posted July 13, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 I seem aby ideas to help it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotalObelisk Posted July 13, 2008 Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 It is short but that's not a problem, what your lacking is descriptions. Sure you can say 'bob went into the house' or 'bob walked down the street' but it helps the reader if you give them details, especially if these details will be used later. You might also want to describe their actions and what not, for example 'bob raised his duel disk' or 'bob drew a card and summoned it to his field'... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Καsτοr Posted July 13, 2008 Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 TotalObelisk is right. It needs a tweak of description. Other than that, this is great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted July 13, 2008 Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 That's exactly what I said. And have been telling people for a while now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seth Posted July 13, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 I want to add more description, but it's hard to using a script style of writing. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotalObelisk Posted July 13, 2008 Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 Simple solution, don't use script form. It looks very plain and usually I give up halfway through reading them (I'll totally fail as an actor :p), it's best to use a plain text like I use in my fan-fic...Length doesn't matter by details will... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seth Posted July 14, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 14, 2008 I wanted to do a normal story, but every did there's script style, so I gave it a go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.