Zack Blaze Posted August 11, 2008 Report Share Posted August 11, 2008 This is my First Fan Fic so I know its not good. Characters Name: Leo BarrigonGender: BoyBest Card: Dark Metal StratosRole Play: Main CharactersType of Deck: WarriorAge: 15 Name: Shea ParkinsGender: GirlBest Card: Sorcerer of Dark WishesRole Play: Leo's Best FriendType of Deck: SpellcasterAge: 15 Name: Zeek WallingsGender: BoyBest Card: Cirelia - Lord CrisisRole Play: Leo's EnemyType of Deck: CrisisAge: 15 Name: Terri BarringtonGender: GiirlBest Card: Faction Hero Gamma KnightRole Play: Leo's SisterType of Deck: Faction HeroAge: 12 All of the Cards used in this Fan Fic are cards made by me. Our story begins with Leo dueling his sister at home. Leo has 2100 LP left and Terri has 1400 LP left. It is Leo's turn. There are only 2 cards face down in his Spell and Trap card zones. Terri has Faction Hero Cannon Knight (lv. 5 / ATK 1800 / DEF 1900) in ATK position Leo - Ill play my Spell card "Dragons Restrict". At the cost of 2000 LP I can summon any Dragon from my hand. And I Pick "Dark Metal Stratos" with an ATK of 2700. And I'll activate my Spell card "Dragon Claw" which gives my dragon a 500 ATK boost making him strong enough to wipe out the rest of your LP. Terri - No! Mom - Kids there are letters that came for you today. Find out what the Letter says in Episode 1. Now I am going to tell you The Story that is going on. Leo is a 15 year old kid who tried to get into this major Yugioh Tournament but kept failing. finaly he wins and is waitng for the letter to come in the mail to see if he got accepted or not. His sister on the other hand is only 12 and is not old enough to get in yet. So she is trying to get into a younger tournament and she is waiting for a letter to come to see if she is accepted or not. So she devises this plan to win every time. She marks her cards so she cant lose! Leo finds out about it and trys to make her go confess. but she wouldn't. So he devises a plan to make her lose. He finds the best 12 year old duelist and makes him go into the tournament she is in. (you will learn about him Later) He beats her and then one year later she is going to get back into the tournament again. Shea Parkins is a friend of Leo's. They met at a local Tournament when they were 8 years old. They have been friends ever since. And Zeek Wallings is Leo's Worst Enemy. He is the one who always beats him in the Qualifying match. This year Leo beats him and hopes he makes it into his tournament. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyhe Posted August 11, 2008 Report Share Posted August 11, 2008 The beginning was unexpected.Before beginning a story, give it some background, which is the story's backbone. Your chapters need to be longer,jus look at the fanfics of this site for examples. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zack Blaze Posted August 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2008 Ok thanks for the advice. I just thought I shoul make the Prolouge short. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyhe Posted August 11, 2008 Report Share Posted August 11, 2008 Ok thanks for the advice. I just thought I shoul make the Prolouge short.That's where you're wrong.The prologue ought to provide the before-story of everything.It must capture the reader's attention right from the start. (it's like smoking & drugs, only more legal & less fatal) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zack Blaze Posted August 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2008 ok i edited the Prolouge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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