Yu Gi OH Dark Duelers! prolouge

[Zayne13]

My better atemt at yu gi oh fan fic

By mom, by dad! said Drake Tahaki as he rushes out the door to get to school. Drake Tahaki is a first year high school student and the best duelist in his home town. He has brown hair and green eyes. His best Friend Lilly is The younger sister to Naye Derin the king of games. Hi Drake! Hey Lilly! Oh...Drake wait up! Can't gotta get to school.Well me to. said Lilly! Ya so! Well lets walk together. Oh fine get up here said Drake. (Lilly rushes up the hill to get to Drake.) Finaly! said Drake.

Hey you two! Oh grate It's Jalo! said Lilly sarcastically. Shut up! said Jalo! Hey don't talk to her like that! said Drake angerly. What are you gonna do about it? said Jalo. I'll duel you! If I win you apoligize If you win

you can talk to us however you want. Fine! said Jalo. BLAST! said Jalo and Drake. Drake-2000 Life Points Jallo-2000 Life Points.

I'm first said Jalo. Draw! (five cards shoot out of a black glove.) Grate said Jalo. Goon BLAST! ATK 1000

Good Move. said Drake. Ok then. Mideval Hero Royal Knight Blast! ATK 1300. Attack! (Jalo loses 300 Life Points. Drake has 2000 Life Points Jalo has 1700 Life Points) Ah who cares its only 300 Life Points. said Jalo. You don't have to do this! said Lilly. It's fine. I'm winning anyway. Don't worry. said Drake. Enough talk. let's Blast. said Jalo. Right. said Drake. Draw! Vice Dragon Blast! said Jalo. DEF 1600. Thats it. said Jalo. Ok then. Draw! Perfect my favorite card! I sacrifice Royal Knight. Now Mideval Hero Black Knight Blast! said Drake. ATK 2000. Attack Vice Dragon. (Jalo loses 400 Life Points. Drake-2000 Life Points Jalo-1300 Life Points) Oh No! Draw! crud! I surrender! Huh? asked Drake confused.Thats right. said Jalo. Well ok if your sure. said Drake. I win! Oh and I think you owe someone an apology. Screw you. said Jalo. Oh okay so does that mean you want another duel? asked Drake. Oh no! I'm sorry Lilly. said Jalo scaresly.

To Be Continued In...Yu Gi Oh Dark Duelers!

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Hope you liked it.

[shiko11]

Ok dude, no offense, but your grammar really needs work.

If you're looking for a rating, I give it a 5/10. The storyline needs a little bit of work.

BUT, I'm not one to judge, according to how I'm working on my first fan fic.

keep at it tho! 8)

 

This has been Shiko11, Over And Out

[CrabHelmet]

The other one was better. Why? Because it had line breaks.