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My first trap card that actually works!


JG.

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Hi, i know you're thinking how the h*** a guy like me with 3 stars can not have made a trap card before. Well it's true 'cause in all my time here (since May 2008) i have only made monsters and maybe 1 or 2 spell and trap cards. But i decided to change that so i am now going to start making spell and traps aswell!

I do not know if the card i am going to post is overpowered or not so feel free to rate and comment! As usual constructive critisism is always welcome (but be prepared to get a razor-sharp reply!).

 

78876nf9.jpg

 

[spoiler=Effect]

This card can only be activated when your opponent has at least twice as many Life Points as you have. Your opponent takes 700 points of direct damage. Select 2 monsters your opponent controls. The selected monsters can not attack or be used in tribute. On your opponnets 2nd Standby Phase after activation, the 2 monsters are destroyed.

 

 

 

 

 

Picture Credit: The background is made by me on GIMP but the eye itself is found here.

The artist is g3cc0.

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There are some OCG Errors, heres a Fix

Card:

This card can only be activated when your opponent has at least twice as many Life Points as you have. Inflict 700 damage to your opponent's Life Points. Select 2 monsters your opponent controls. The selected monsters cannot attack or be used as a Tribute for a Tribute Summon. On your opponnets 2nd Standby Phase after activation, the 2 monsters are destroyed.

You don't have to say "points" its outdated, "cannot" is 1 word, it should say "or be used as a Tribute for a Tribute Summon".

 

About Card:

The pic is kinda... but not bad

There are a bit OCG Errors

it can be useful (If your opponent's Life Points are twice more than you) it can also be useless

OVERALL: 8.4/10

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I am sorry to say this silent hunter but your OCG is even worse! I'm not saying i'm the expert on OCG and grammar but i can see that my original OCG is better than your modification.

 

Inflict 700 damage to your opponent's Life Points.: You dont say Life Points any more. You just say "inflict xxx direct damage to..." yes i know i was wrong in the bit about points but i accept it.

 

The selected monsters cannot attack or be used as a Tribute for a Tribute Summon.: You do not have to say "... for a Tribute Summon." You can if you want but you dont have to (i think).

I do not think there is anymore i need to comment

 

And PLEASE, no one continue this argument. I want my thread to be filled with comments, not arguements.

 

Oh, and thanks for the rate and comment.

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