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Name that Comedian!


Supernewb

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Okay! I wanna see what you guys know about comedy! I'm gonna post some quotes from certain comedians and see if you can recognize them. There are no prizes, I just wanna see if you guys know what this funny stuff is!

 

1. Bill Gates. 85 BILLION dollars. There's a guy who could lose 80 BILLION dollars, and still have 5 Friccken BILLION dollars.

 

2. I dated one asian, she was very asian, she was a panda.

 

3. If there is a god, he made me three things. Suicidal, a Procrastinator, and ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER. I stand around every day thinking, "Life sulks, why do I even try... I might as well kill myself... but, I don't have any rope. I guess I'll get some later. Hey, look, that guy has a blue bike!"

 

4. Mad cow disease. I like the fact that we're blaming it on the cows.

 

5. My mama always told me, "A melon is bigger than a lampshade, but you can't use a doorknob as a toaster."

 

6.Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

 

See how fast you can answer!

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Let me get one thing across. I in no way said that these were the funniest, or the best. These are from some comedians that I like listening too. In case your wondering, here are the answers:

1. Louis C.K.

2. Jim Gaffigan

3. Big Daddy Taz

4. Jerry Seinfeld

5. Adam Sandler

6. George Carlin

 

Some of you may not think any of these are funny in any way, I don't know because I don't know your sense of humor. But, if you don't think these are funny and you listen to Dane Cook, you have serious problems. Dane Cook stole jokes from Louis C.K, so if you think Dane is funny, you should take a look at more Louis C.K. jokes cause you'll find some similarities. Jim Gaffigan is one hilarious guy, I just didn't want to take up much space with his better jokes, because they are long. Big Daddy Tazz is not very well known, but if you see his special on Comedy Central than you'll see that he is one funny guy. Jerry Seinfeld is JERRY SEINFELD. Need I say more? Than Adam Sandler started out in stand up comedy, and it helped his carreer and now how many comedies has he been in? He hasn't done stand up in a while, so it is kind of old. Last but not least, George Carlin. Yeah.

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