Careless Whisper Posted September 27, 2008 Report Share Posted September 27, 2008 Through silence, I am Foretold, that a being of power, shall keep the world at hold. Truth not what might become, for the being's strength will undone, the damages that progress, through the universe and it's best. Now with the prophesy now told, with the power creating man of bold. For now just only the Captain's keep, within Silence an Eternal creep. For now only ravens of blood and gore, shall quoth thy raven "Nevermore." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deucalion Posted September 27, 2008 Report Share Posted September 27, 2008 2nd line should be "foretold", title should be "Prophecy". No particular double meanings or references apart from an obvious Edgar Allen Poe reference on last line. The stanzas vary widely, the rhyming format follows ABCB for the first line, doesn't follow in the next stanza, and last 3 are the oh-so-original AA format. Language is cliched. I'd do some witty line designed to crush you, but I can't be bothered. For now, I'll settle with "need to improve." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skyfi Posted September 27, 2008 Report Share Posted September 27, 2008 Great poem Meti :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Death Metal Posted September 27, 2008 Report Share Posted September 27, 2008 Truth not what might become' date=' for the being's strength will undone, the damages that progress, through the universe and it's best. [/quote'] Re-write this part (kinda messes up the "flow") and the poem will go from great to excellent ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tiger Posted September 27, 2008 Report Share Posted September 27, 2008 I like it :) Nice job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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