Master Red Posted October 11, 2008 Report Share Posted October 11, 2008 This is the prologue for my first fan-fic. It's set in the time between GX and 5D's (thereby the name, 5/2=2,5 :P), as you soon will see the times are hard but I won't be revealing much why. That is for later chapters to reveal.If you want a character in the story, PM me a message containing the following:*The characters Name and Age.*Appearance.*A bit about the charaters personality and background.*A complete decklist (this has to follow the current ADVANCED ban-list).alternatively:* is the character a part of Olivion or Armageddon (or maybe s/he is an outcast)? (if you don't put this in I will decide this myself). [spoiler=Prologue]There was a sudden crash and a building fell down in the distance. “So the Spirit Barrier has fallen again” she thought and watched as the dust from the old drywalls covered a large area of the ruin-like Domino city. A sudden gust of wind made her long blonde hair flitter in the air, some of it getting stuck in the corner of her mouth. She closed her eyes and smiled, enjoying the cool breeze, then she removed the hair from her mouth and got back up on her bike. The girl was quite young, not older than seventeen, she was wearing a pinkish piquet shirt with a yellow tie and a jeans skirt. She had a brown-beige bluebonnet on her head and an old leather backpack that seemed to be filled up with something quite heavy. As she came to a slope she had to concentrate very hard on the steering so that she wouldn’t hit one of the many potholes and fall. The yellow rusty old bike chinked and clanked as it came down the slope and the front wheel seemed to be poorly attached to the frame. Suddenly the bike came to a stop and the girl flew off, luckily she fell down on the grass which somewhat softened her fall. “Ugh!” The girl sat up and pressed the hands to the back of her head, trying to ease the headache she had gotten from the fall. She clenched her eyes shut and tears were forming in the corner of her eyes. She got up from the ground and wiped the tears away, seeing that her bike was completely trashed. The front wheel was crooked and it seemed to be no air left in it either. She sighed and cursed quietly as she picked the bike up and started to lead it beside her. She had clearly hurt her right leg badly since it didn’t really support her, this caused her to limp very badly. She had some bruises on her body and her clothes were dusty and had grass stains on them. “HALT!” She stopped and looked up, seeing a man in his upper twenties standing before her. “What do you want?“ she asked coldly, eyeing him up and down. He had red hair and quite tall, she couldn’t see his eyes since he wore a pair of shades that covered them. He was dressed in a moth-eaten trench coat, a pair of green pants and army boots. He grinned and pointed at her, “You have some nerve to be trespassing on Armageddon’s land, little girl” he said, talking to her like she had no idea of where she was or what she was doing. Like she was just a helpless little dumb girl. “I’ve been here before” she responded and started to dig around in her backpack, “But last time I was here this wasn’t Armageddon’s land either. It was inhabited by normal people and not brainwashed little freak shows like you” she continued, still very coldly. “And besides, I have met with Armageddon’s corrupted little foot soldiers before, they are of no match for me. Just cowards that instead of fighting for their rights, joins the enemy, thinking that it will keep them safe.” The man stopped grinning and took his hand down, he looked a bit annoyed and insulted. “You say that you have encountered Armageddon’s before, eh?” he said looking at her. When she didn’t respond he continued, “That must mean you’re a duelist” he eyed her up and down. “But you don’t seem to be with the Oblivions.. An outcast maybe?” he said, mostly to himself and then he started laughing. “You think you can take me on?”, “Well” he continued, still laughing “I’ll make you a deal, if you beat me I’ll let you pass. If not.. well, let’s just say that you don’t want to loose this duel.” He grinned and picked up a duel disc, which he loaded his deck into. She grinned, “Idiot, thinking you’re better than me just because you’re a man.” she thought and she picked up her own duel disc from her backpack. “Sure, I’ll duel you” she said to him and smiled, she then strapped her disc at her arm and picked up her deck. “I-I guess that you load you deck here..” she said insecurely and inserted her deck. The man grinned at her and shook his head a little, making her sure of the fact that he had fallen for her little dumb-girl act. “Ladies first” the man said, making a sarcastic bow to her. She smiled and nodded, “Seems like someone is very eager to be crushed by a girl” she thought to herself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jovi Siagian Posted October 11, 2008 Report Share Posted October 11, 2008 Add more spaces. Make your story become easier to be read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Red Posted October 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2008 I tried that but I just thought it looked ugly, I want a more book-ish kind of feeling and if you double space everything it looks.. bleh :/ But that is just my oppinion :) What do you think of the story people? I'm not continuing this without knowing if it's worth it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jovi Siagian Posted October 12, 2008 Report Share Posted October 12, 2008 I haven't seen any Duel, so I don't want to judge it yet. And perhaps you can't make it look like books. You can read books while you are lying down on your bed. But you can't do that using computer (maybe you can with a laptop, but it's still annoying, isn't it?). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Red Posted October 12, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2008 I will make the duel start in the first chapter.. this was just the prologue ^^However, I cannot start witch the next part before I have figured out what he will play :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jovi Siagian Posted October 12, 2008 Report Share Posted October 12, 2008 Oh, yeah. If you want it to be like a "book", see Chaotix®'s Yu-Gi-Oh! Crossroads of Redemption. Its format is just like yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Red Posted October 12, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2008 yeah I've read that and I think it's good ^^ I've edited the text with some more spaces now.. is it better ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jovi Siagian Posted October 13, 2008 Report Share Posted October 13, 2008 Much better ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Red Posted October 14, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 14, 2008 yay I made it better xD now I have to think of chapter 1 humm-a-humm-a-humm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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