「tea.leaf」 Posted October 11, 2008 Report Share Posted October 11, 2008 I had to write this essay for English, and it's due on Monday. The conclusion paragraph is absolutely terrible, and I'd like some major help with it. Here it goes: Literary Analysis of The Great Gatsby Everyone loves a good party. Free food, kicking music, and the opportunity to meet up with some old friends or new acquaintances; what more could one ask for? In F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby, parties are major events, yielding minute details and exposing secret intentions of each character. Nick Caraway, the narrator throughout the novel, vividly recollected a party he attended hosted by Jay Gatsby. By meticulously recounting the exotic delicacies and fine music of Gatsby’s party, Nick ultimately expresses a scene of excessiveness and artificiality. The food of Gatsby’s party reveals extreme wastefulness. “Every Friday five crates of oranges and lemons arrived from… New York. Every Monday these same oranges and lemons [Gatsby’s] back door in a pyramid of pulpless [sic] halves.” Gatsby’s weekend parties consume massive quantities of food, and Nick’s language here especially emphasizes the over-consumption by likening it to a mechanical process. His image of fruits-go-in-husks-come-out paints a picture of a machine, whose only function is to consume and make waste, a purposelessness institution that consumes and yields nothing. Nick also points out Gatsby’s excessiveness with his description of the “crowded” food “glistening” on the buffet table. The repetitive use of positive adjectives almost induces a feeling of “overdose” for the reader. A similar feeling is communicated by Nick’s description of Gatsby’s “stocked” bar, equipped with “a real brass rail.” Of course, no party would be complete with only food, and Gatsby does not fail to deliver when it comes to music. Gatsby’s musical entertainment wasn’t a simple “five-piece affair” according to Nick, but rather “a whole pitful [sic] of” instruments, an ensemble so large than Nick can hear their “music from” his own house, playing “yellow cocktail music” while Gatsby’s guests party on. Live entertainment at private events is uncommon as it is, and Gatsby blew beyond that by hiring a full orchestra. Nick accentuates this excessiveness even more with his repetitions of “and” to drag and slow the sentence. This gives the entire description a more corpulent feeling, and really emphasizes the size of the orchestra. Despite the glamorous aspects that Nick describes of Gatsby’s party, a few key details reveal many pretentious and artificial undertones. The girls at Gatsby’s party made “enthusiastic greetings” when they didn’t even “know each other’s names,” with introductions forgotten on the spot.” With this Nick exposed the superficial and disingenuous aspects of Gatsby’s guests, who probably only attend to take advantage of Gatsby’s overindulgent generosity and flamboyant festivities. Since practically none of the guests know each other, it’s probably even likelier that they don’t know Gatsby either. Aside from the guests, the reader might notice that Nick never mentioned Gatsby ANYWHERE in this excerpt, except one when referring to his garden. By leaving out Gatsby, Nick disassociates the entire event from and thus impresses on the reader that Nick doesn’t think Gatsby throws these events for his own amusement, but rather for the sake of flaunting his wealth before others. Summed up, these “minor” details in Nick’s recollection of Gatsby’s party display what Nick really thinks of Gatsby and his guests: empty and fake. Although Gatsby’s party seems grand and generous at first glance, Nick’s commentary reveals the true, hideous nature of the event. However, on can easily sympathize with Gatsby, despite his less-than-honorable intentions. After all, Gatsby was only trying to find his place in an upper class that rejects “new” money. I know... I've probably written better stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrabHelmet Posted October 11, 2008 Report Share Posted October 11, 2008 I read up to the word "were" in the second line and stopped reading. Present tense please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
「tea.leaf」 Posted October 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2008 Fixed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted October 11, 2008 Report Share Posted October 11, 2008 The conclusion of an essay is to provide a message that should stick with the reader. Yours just "drops off". Give it s'more oomph. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
「tea.leaf」 Posted October 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2008 The conclusion of an essay is to provide a message that should stick with the reader. Yours just "drops off". Give it s'more oomph. My conclusion paragraphs tend to do that. Please elaborate on what I should add, given the details that I've provided in the essay. How about any structural errors with the essay itself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted October 11, 2008 Report Share Posted October 11, 2008 The conclusion of an essay is to provide a message that should stick with the reader. Yours just "drops off". Give it s'more oomph. My conclusion paragraphs tend to do that. Please elaborate on what I should add' date=' given the details that I've provided in the essay. How about any structural errors with the essay itself?[/quote'] Well, none of your paragraphs have a real conclusive sentence. If you can't think up of one, sum up what each sentence says in 2 to 3 words, and put those together into one sentence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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