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~lock, pleas ~


Esplin 9466 Primary

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1st :: Not enough of a good flow with her words...and word selection is basic and predicatble.

 

2nd :: Same flow problem.... and word selection is a problem here too...not many metaphors so far.

 

3rd :: Better, but the one lined stanzas do not make it good.

 

4th :: Alot better than the previous ones so far.. the word selection is better, but I would like to see some metaphors.

 

5th :: Needs stanza seperation, and don't use CAPs locks to emphasize words in a poem.

 

6th :: So far, alot better than any of the other ones, it gives detail, and alot of it.

 

7th :: Good, but still no metaphors....still the same problems as the first and second one.

 

8th :: Very different, but it's getting better.

 

9th :: Better, but not the best.

 

10th :: Nicely done, but still not the best.

 

11th :: Nice metaphors here...but still need more.

 

12th :: Alot of metaphors, but still not the best...too many..

 

13th :: Better...but still not the best..

 

 

 

 

I say, from what I have read...you have a long distance relationship with some girl who likes writing poetry about the day the two of you will eventually meet eye to eye. She writes you poems to show how much she loves you, though she has never seen you in real life, but maybe just a picture.

 

I say good luck with this relationshi; as there are so many ways this relationship can turn to dust.

 

You have my blessings.

 

Also, if you are wanting to read some good poetry from me, please PM me, and I'll show you some.

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Whoa.

 

You should be thankful that your girlfriend cares so much about you. :]

 

-Glasstinemo-fish.gif

 

For future referance' date=' im not interested in your opinion about our relationship,

Just what you think about the poem.

[/quote']

 

Oops.

 

I apologize.

 

Please forgive me for stating a positive comment about your relationship.

 

:[

 

-Glasstinemo-fish.gif

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