"D.D. Fiend Berserker" Please rate!

[Radiant F.U.R.Y.™]

[spoiler=Effect]When this card would be sent to the Graveyard, it is removed from play instead. When this card is removed from play, except by its own effect, half the original ATK and DEF of this card and Special Summon it to your opponent's side of the field in face-up Attack Position. This card can not be released for an Advanced Summon or a card effect.

 

 

image from Wolfberserker

[Radiant F.U.R.Y.™]

BUMP

[N00B Hunter]

You have been neg-repped for your 110 minute bump. Bumps may only happen at intervals of 24 hours, please understand the rules for posting. I would expect that much from a Level 3 Member. You can earn the rep back, though..

 

The card is very interesting. It needs to be removed from play outside of the Graveyard in order to have its effect, a potentially useful one, to be used. Alright, I like that. But it has no merit (being removed from play from the field isn't exactly a piece of cake in the current TCG) as a real card, and would be the kind of card used in a booster pack to keep the small timers coming. You know, the ones that look good on the surface, but actually don't really work? That's this guy. So as a single, I don't see much promise. But if you put it in a booster set, then this is a great publicity card.

 

The Phrasing isn't top-notch, plus it uses "Advance Summon" and "released". Sorry, I've NEVER seen a card in the TCG that uses the words "Advance Summon"... sure, I know it's supposed to be the new OCG in January. But guess what? It's December!!! Haha! I'll rewrite the effect here, and bold what's off-beat:

"This card cannot be Tributed for a Tribute Summon. When this card is sent to the Graveyard, it is removed from play instead. When this card is removed from play, except by its own effect, decrease its original ATK and DEF by half to Special Summon it to your opponent's side of the field in face-up Attack Position. If this card was summoned this way, this card cannot be Tributed for Tribute Summon."

 

Now, the italics are for something I'm not sure about. You see, either "Fiend Beserker" (which is a weird name, I'll get to that later) can NEVER be Tributed for a Tribute Summon, or he/she/it can only not be Tributed for a Tribute Summon when he/she/it has been re-summoned. If it's the first option, use the first sentence (keep it at the beginning too.), but if it's the second option, then use the sentence at the end. Remember, DON'T MOVE ANYTHING. Removing sentences is fine, but there is an order to which effects go. This one either goes at the beginning or the end, depending on whether the effet is constant, or only applies if the secondary effect is in use.

 

Finally, "Fiend Beserker". Well, there's a problem here. You should know that the best ways to describe things is (if it's a subject, like a monster) "[adjective] [noun]" such as "Sandy Bucket-eater" or with "[cool name here]", like "Laham Jat". This rule can waver, but not if you have a title before the name. "D.D." is a title, believe it or not.

And guess what else? "Fiend" isn't an adjective. "Fiendish" is an adjective. You could go with "Fiendish Beserker", sure. But also remember that "D.D." stands for something. "Different Dimension Fiend Beserker" and "Different Dimension Fiendish Beserker" both sound bad to me. The name should roll off the tongue. Like "D.D. Guide", "D.D. Dynamite", "Different Dimension Master", etc.

"D.D. Beserker" is a fine name. Personally, this thing seems more like an Humanoid "Abomination" than a "Beserker", but it's your card. Just at least "Fiend" into some kind of adjective!!

 

I've always been a fan of flashy cards that don't really do much, almost as much as I am a fan of well-made cards that do a lot (almost). Very nice job here, at least from my perspective. However, if you were trying to make a card that was well thought-out, you haven't done so well. I see this is the first card of your "RNDM" set. What does that stand for, I wonder? Rain of Doom? Haha, very nice though. I enjoyed looking at it.

 

By the way, your signature is a little off. It's C-R-O-P-P-I-N-G, with 2 of the letter "p", otherwist it's pronounced crowe-ping. :mrgreen:

[Radiant F.U.R.Y.™]

As always, N00B Hunter, you have given me some advice worth thinking about. You are right...I do know better than to bump so soon. My impatience got the best of me today. I also knew about D.D. being short for "Different Dimension." It never crossed my mind, though, just how it sounded together. I guess this is my day of many brain farts. Oh and RNDM is "random." I just needed a filler name b/c I wasn't making this into a set.

 

I probably will change the name to "D.D. Berserker."

 

This will be the new effect:

"This card cannot be Tributed for a Tribute Summon. When this card would be sent to the Graveyard, it is removed from play instead. When this card is removed from play, except by its own effect, decrease its original ATK and DEF by half and Special Summon it to your opponent's side of the field in face-up Attack Position. If this card was summoned this way, this card cannot be Tributed for a card effect."

 

I hope that's correct. Anyway, you can look for this card to be updated within the next week or so.

 

--TY for pointing out the typo in my sig. I plan on changing it out completely in a week or two, so for now, I offer "crowe-ping" ^_^

[Professor Cobra]

Change to cannot, excellent is nice. 9/10

[╬「Selatcia」╬]

Summoned

 

opponent's side of the field = opponent's field

________________________

 

8.5/10