Benraino Posted December 18, 2008 Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them breaks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azerty-of-KoL Posted December 18, 2008 Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 Copypasta> http://bl.net/forwards/mnms.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crystal Beast 123 Posted December 18, 2008 Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 That's exactly what I do with Goldfish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bakura Vessal Posted December 18, 2008 Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 Lol. My M&M's go through a strict training prosiciure, except I squash em with cars. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spiff! Posted December 18, 2008 Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 The Candy Critic.check it out.they have done everything imaginable to M&Ms Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonisanoob Posted December 18, 2008 Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 i loled Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Digital.Simplicity. Posted December 18, 2008 Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 This is awesome i so have to try this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speznats Posted December 18, 2008 Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 thats sort of like the torture tests i do for gun companys like glock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pikachu Posted December 18, 2008 Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 This is way worse than the domino effect(Thread + Lulz) x M&Ms = Over 9000 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Death Metal Posted December 18, 2008 Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 i loled Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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