ragnarok1945 Posted January 16, 2009 Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 personally I feel your story length is just fine (you kept it interesting, so I didn't care how long it was) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J123 Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 Good Job.This chapter was nice ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Lightray Daedalus- Posted January 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 Thanks I'll have the next on saturday... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Lightray Daedalus- Posted January 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 Chapter 4 is up..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ғαlşє 0ρρяєşşịợи Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 chapter four is amazing, keep up the good work (xD) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fen. Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 Wow, what an interesting duel between siblings! Also, don't shorten the story at all. Keep it in tact, I wanna read ALL of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ragnarok1945 Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 ah, the sibling duels. At least they tend to be more friendly than others are supposed to be Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fen. Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 Not nesseceraly, sibling duels can be downright ugly. Take the duel Chazz had against his brothers and the one Cyrus had against Dark Zane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Lightray Daedalus- Posted January 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 What does it means?????????? I kinda didn't get it XD nvermind I understand now...XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ragnarok1945 Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 Not nesseceraly' date=' sibling duels can be downright ugly. Take the duel Chazz had against his brothers and the one Cyrus had against Dark Zane.[/quote'] well it depends on how your sibling relationship is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Lightray Daedalus- Posted January 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 well you will see ome more sibling relationship here later...and even one more deep relationship....(Sorry spoil) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fen. Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 well you will see ome more sibling relationship here later...and even one more deep relationship....(Sorry spoil)We ALL already know it's going to be Ryu and Akoura or whatever the hell her name is......It's obvious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ragnarok1945 Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 that's good to hear. I'll look forward to reading it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Lightray Daedalus- Posted January 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 well you will see ome more sibling relationship here later...and even one more deep relationship....(Sorry spoil)We ALL already know it's going to be Ryu and Akoura or whatever the hell her name is......It's obvious. Who Asuka?...I'm talking about familiar relationship....althought I promise it will be some sort of Guygirl stuff....XD that's good to hear. I'll look forward to reading it Ok hope you enjoy it then...XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jace Beleren Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 nice job ryubut there is a little grammer errors but still nicecant wait for chapter 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Lightray Daedalus- Posted January 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 Does anyone wonders how would be the next character......you already can know what his deck will be about... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ragnarok1945 Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 Does anyone wonders how would be the next character......you already can know what his deck will be about... We'd rather wait for you to reveal it yourself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Lightray Daedalus- Posted January 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 true...I'm starting to write it now....XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fen. Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 Can't wait for the next chapter, it sounds like a really good aqua battle, telling from the preview. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ragnarok1945 Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 true...I'm starting to write it now....XD Can we expect it before the weekend is over? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Lightray Daedalus- Posted January 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 I'll give myself sunday as the limit date.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ragnarok1945 Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 thanks. Then you go back to writing, we'll wait it out for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Lightray Daedalus- Posted January 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 I added chapter 5 Here and a Bonus...Enjoy it...XD [spoiler=[b]Episode 5[/b]]Ben is looking some second year guys having a practice duel, and then Rintaro comes… Rintaro: Hi Ben, what’s up? Ben: Oh, Hi Rintaro, I’m watching those two, they have been dueling for a while but it is pretty much ending… Rintaro: Who’s wining? Ben: Well…first you have Mahaska Asou, he have 1700 LP, then Saeki Oda, he seems to be an impressive duelist, but he is losing…. Rintaro: mmmm, look Asou will take his turn… Asou: Oda you are dead it is my turn; I activate “Polymerization”, this lets me fuse “Hero of the East” and “Divine Dragon Ragnarok”, to Fusion Summon, “Dragon Paladin” [Dragon Paladin: Level 5/LIGHT/Warrior-Fusion /ATK 1900/DEF 1500; Effect: “Hero of the East” + “Divine Dragon Ragnarok” Once per turn you can send your entire hand to the Graveyard, increase this card’s ATK by 300 for each card sent this way to the Graveyard, until the End Phase.]Now I send my left 2 cards to the Graveyard, and attack your “Deep Diver”…. (ATK 2500) Deep Diver is cut in two by Dragon Paladin’s Sword and Oda’s LP goes down from 2000 to 700(2000+1200-2500)(“A legendary Ocean” is on the field) Oda: Anyway you just let me win…I draw…because of the effect of “Deep Diver” I was able to put this monster on the top of my deck….I Normal Summon “Amphibious Bugroth MK-3” [Amphibious Bugroth MK-3: Level 4/Water/Machine /ATK 1500/DEF 1300; As long as "Umi" remains face-up on the field, this card can attack your opponent's Life Points directly.]. And since I control “A Legendary Ocean” and this is like having an “Umi” on the field the effect of my monster let attack you directly… Asou: Nooo I lost again! Amphibious Bugroth MK-3 launches a pair of torpedoes that hit directly to Asou, reducing his LP from 1700 to 0. Oda: Alright, I already beat each 3rd year and 2nd year student in the school, the hard work is over now I just have to beat the 1st year ones and I’ll regain my record... Turn 5. Invincible Water Deck, Roar of Levia! Asuka is running to the academy she oversleep and was late for school, when she was about to reach she falls on the ground and threw his books away…when she was trying to get up a blonde guy appears and offers to help her…Asuka couldn’t see him well at a first time coz the sun was in her eyes. The guy looked like an angel to her…Asuka blushes and stands, as the guy took the books from the ground and give them to her… Michael: Here these are yours…seems like you were to school… Asuka: *Blushed* Yea…yeah…Thanks for giving me them Michael: Oh it is not a problem; I’ll always be here to help beautiful ladies… Asuka:*What did he say...beautiful?*Ah I… In that moment the school ring sounds and Asuka noticed that she didn’t get to school yet… Asuka: Oh No…! I got to go…sorry and thanks for your help…am… Michael: Michael….my name is Michael…hope to see you again Asuka-san… Asuka turn around and run as she said goodbye to that Michael… Asuka: Ok thank you Michael…wait a minute…how do you know my name is… Asuka turned to Michael again but he has just disappeared…Asuka then has a warm feeling in his hear and was still blushed…she took his books hard and walk to the school… Meanwhile Ben and Ryu where standing in the classroom’s door when Rintaro and Natsume come talking …. Rintaro: Hey guys look my big brother has something to tell you… Natsume: Yeah well since you are my little brother’s friends I think I like that you will see my band play this weekend at the “Sen-Nen Soda Bar”, I think it will be good…I got this tickets so…what do you think… Ryu: Awesome, of course we can right Ben? Ben: Sure it will be fun…can you give another one for Asuka? Oh wait here she comes…hey Asuka, look Rintaro’s brother invite us to see his band play… Asuka was so lost in the memory of Michael that didn’t noticed Iwao coming in front of her… Iwao: Hey watch where you walk! Asuka: *Lost eyes* I’m sorry, Iwao-kun… Iwao: Uh? What happen to you…you have those eyes…again like the first time we met each other… Asuka seems to react to those words and reminded that the first time she met Iwao she fell some kind of attraction…the same thing has just happened with Michael… Ryu proceed to watch after Asuka in the moment he sees Iwao near of her… Ryu: You again? I thought we agreed with the duel we have that you won’t bother Asuka again! Iwao: I’m not doing anything to her…and for the duel…we didn’t end that duel remember any of us could win, but right now I got some stuffs in my mind that don’t let me go on and try to beat you yet….we will have our rematch never forget that… Iwao walks again and enter through the classroom door but stay there, he looks at Ryu and Feels some kind of anger on how he supports his friends…he then sit in his place and started to reorder his deck… Meanwhile…Oda is sitting in the informatics room checking out the profiles from the 1st year students… Oda: Alright let see who can be my first opponent this day…Oh look there will be an exhibition duel in the second period…it is just perfect…let see I’ll be there yeah…mmmm and my opponent will be this… Ryusaki….he doesn’t seem that strong…actually…It might be pretty boring…but well if that is what the big boss wants … Oda leaves the classroom and walks to the arena where he will have are match against not other but Ryu… Just in that moment the principal’s secretary comes into Ryu’s class and announce the event for the second period…Secretary: And now I’m going to choose one of you that will represent 1st year in your duel against one 2nd year student… Iwao stands up and yells… Iwao: why do you choose I got the best grades here you know that send one 1st year student against a 2nd one would be a suicide unless they are brilliant…so I should go there.. Secretary: You are Yamanaki ………Right? please this is only a friendly match that’s why we will choose any one of you…in this case…I’ll tick a name in the list to see which of you it will be…mmmm…Ryusaki… Ryu: Ah? Me...? After that the second period started, Ryu walked to the arena where all the students in the academy were watching the duel that was just about to start…in that moment ryu remembered what Ben and Natsume told Him about his new rival… *Ben: Well I couldn’t search too much yet but he seems to have been beaten 2/3 of the school stundents and has a record of more victories from his last year...so it is a tough Natsume: Actually I was beaten pretty easy by him he is a tough match* Ryu: Suddenly this doesn’t seem like a very friendly match… Oda was waiting for Ryu…and he shakes his hand… Oda: Let’s do a good duel…now let’s start. Both shuffled their decks and say… Oda and Ryu: Duel… Oda: I’ll take the first Turn, I normal Summon “Deep Diver” I face-up Attack Position [Deep Diver: Level 3/WATER /Aqua /ATK 1000/DEF 1100; Effect: If this card is destroyed by battle and sent to the Graveyard, at the end of the Battle Phase select 1 Monster Card from your Deck, and place it on top of your Deck.] Then I place a face down card and end my turn. Ryu: Seems like you won’t take it easy…my turn…Seems like you have a water deck I have Water monsters too…say hello too…say hello to my “Head Dragon – Blue Komuri”[Head Dragon – Blue Komuri: Level 4 /WATER /Dragon /ATK 1500/DEF 1100; Effect: When you control 2 or more monster for each card in your hand you can increase your Life points by 300 during you Standby Phase.], I’ll equip with “Dragon’s Golden Suit “[Dragon’s Golden Suit: Equip Spell Card - Increase Equipped Monster’s ATK by 800. When equipped monster destroys a monster by Battle, inflict Damage to your opponent equal to half the original ATK of the equipped monster. At the end of a turn you active this card destroy it.].Now I attack you with my monster… Deep diver is destroyed by a Water Shot from Ryu’s dragon; Oda’s LP goes down to 2750 (4000+1000-1500-750), including Dragon’s Golden Suit’s effect…Oda: Not bad at all, I must say…now that let me chain this card, “Umi’s Soul” [umi’s Soul: Trap Card- Active only when one of your monsters is destroyed. Add 1 “Umi” from your deck to your hand]…and then I put this card “A legendary Ocean” in my hand…then the effect of “Deep Diver” lets me put a monster on the top of my deck. Ryu: Oh he was one step in front of me this turn…I’ll set 2 cards and end my turn… Oda: Then I see…it is my turn…I Special Summon, “Water Worm” [Water Worm: Level 2 /WATER /Aqua /ATK 500/DEF 500; Effect: You can Special Summon this card when you have a WATER monster in your Graveyard, when this card inflict Battle Damage your opponent sent 2 cards from his deck to the Graveyard.], then I’ll active my field spell card…“A legendary Ocean” [A legendary Ocean: Field Spell Field- This card's name is treated as "Umi". Downgrade all WATER monsters in both player's hands and on the field by 1 Level. Increases the ATK and DEF of all WATER monsters by 200 points.] And finally…I release my “Water Worm” to advance summon “Levia-Dragon - Daedalus” [Levia-Dragon – Daedalus: Level 7 /WATER /Sea Serpent /ATK 2600/DEF 1500; Effect: Send "Umi" on your side of the field to the Graveyard to destroy all cards on the field except this card.] First the Field Spell creates a deep ocean when ruins can be seen around everyone. Then appears a ferocious dragon threatening to devour Ryu… Ryu: Noo that’s a terrible monster… Oda: And you must know why…I send my Legendary Ocean to the Graveyard and I will destroy all the cards on the field. The ocean starts to form a water sphere that Levia manipulates and throws to Ryu’s field…destroying everything… Ryu: No…I have to activate this…”Dragon’s Life Infusion” [Dragon’s Life Infusion: Quick Play Spell card-Active Only when 1 or more Dragon-type monsters on the field are destroyed and sent to the Graveyard. Increase your Life points by 1000 for each Dragon-type monster sent to the Graveyard this turn], I can save some life points when my dragon is destroyed… Ryu’s LP: 5000…Oda: That would change nothing…Now I’ll Play another more powerful monster…I release a level 7 Monster to Special Summon…my most powerful monster…arise, Fountain Turtle, Ocean Sustentor” The water that has just left when Levia’s effect dried everything reappears, A gigantic Turtle Island appears and roars…the maximum water monster has Just being summoned and ryu can only watch scared and paralyzed as he prepares to being attacked directly… Oda: And now…Your life Points…are mine!!!! To be continued. Next on: Yu-Gi-Oh! : New World GenerationRyu: I can barely handle Levia, to be against something that is stronger that him, in this moment I can only trust that if I want to win I'll have to risk everything I got. I'm giving all of me!!...Next time in Yu-Gi-Oh! : New World Generation; The Lord of the Ocean, Desesperate tactics. [spoiler=[b]Card of this episode[/b]]Oda's cards/b]Star/Atk/Def| Level 7/2600/1500 Type/Family | WATER/Sea Serpent/Effect Effect | Send "Umi" on your side of the field to the Graveyard to destroy all cards on the field except this card. [spoiler=Character's Section]I will full this space with character's information...this time I'll Post how they would look...I made this in an anime site but this must help you figure out how they are...next time I'll start some Bios...Kunewacha Asuka:Ryusaki Ryu:Ihara Rintaro:Ihara Natsume:Kunioshi Masato:Saeki Oda:Yamanaki Iwao:Matsumune Benkei. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fen. Posted January 25, 2009 Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 ooooo, I wonder who the Big Boss is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ragnarok1945 Posted January 25, 2009 Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 same here, and your duels remain superb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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