Jump to content

Jokes


Granty Boy

Recommended Posts

These are not directed at anyone.

Joor momma jokes:

Joor momma is so fat she thought a bus was a twinky

Joor momma went to the ugly contest and they said sorry no professionals

 

wierd stuff:

 

You sat on the tv and watched the couch

Sylvester the molester

You looked out the window and the police arrested you for mooning

 

I'll come up with more!

 

 

*plz no flames, spam,or bad language.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 63
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Why did the Blonde get fired from the Orange Juice Factory?

She can't "Concentrate".

 

A Blonde went on a date with her boyfriend at the Movies. However, at the credits, the boy passed out and fell on the floor. The Blonde immediately called 9-1-1.

"Hello? My Boyfriend died! WHADDADO?!?"

"Mam, calm down. First, make sure that he's dead."

There was a long silence. BAMN

"Okay, what next?"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Man: Doctor, I've broken my leg.

Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk properly again.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

A man walks into a pub.

He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?

She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

What do you call a cat with no tail?

A Manx cat.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do undertakers wear ties?

Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?

One.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Two men are sitting in a pub.

One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'

The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'

-------------------------------------------------------------------

What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?

Being raped.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?

Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


×
×
  • Create New...