Yu-Gi-Oh! : Lustrous Spirits [PG-13]

[.Rai]

[center][img]http://i53.tinypic.com/21mcfm1.jpg[/img]
[/center]

[color=#000000][size=3][u][b]Arc 1 : Book of Life[/b][/u][/size][/color]

- [color=#0000FF][u][url="http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/252831-yu-gi-oh-lustrous-spirits-pg-13/page__gopid__5277121#entry5277121"][color=#000000][b]Prologue: Gateway of the Six[/b][/color][/url][/u][/color]
- [color=#0000FF][u][url="http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/252831-yu-gi-oh-lustrous-spirits-pg-13/page__gopid__5326022#entry5326022"][color=#000000][b]Chapter 1: Regulus[/b][/color][/url][/u][/color]
- [color=#0000FF][u][url="http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/252831-yu-gi-oh-lustrous-spirits-pg-13/page__pid__5402323#entry5402323"][color=#000000][b]Chapter 2: Escape from the Dark Dimension[/b][/color][/url][/u][/color]
- [color=#0000FF][u][url=http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/252831-yu-gi-oh-lustrous-spirits-pg-13/page__pid__5623105__st__40#entry5623105][color=#000000][b]Chapter 3: Dungeon of the Gladial Beast[/b][/color][/url][/u][/color]

[.Rai]

[u][b]Prologue Updates[/b][/u]
[b]Sunday 12th June:[/b] Been moved to Post 2.
[b]Sunday 12th June:[/b] Partially rewritten.
[b]Tuesday 14th June:[/b] Partially rewritten.

[spoiler=Prologue: Gateway of the Six]"Kizan! Get up and get ready for training!" Kageki had been shouting at him for ages. He was already in his armour and was polishing his swords as he rambled on and on as Kizan opened his eyes. He noticed the rest of the samurais were already practising out in the dojo. In the room he was sleeping, there were two white banners on the door to the outside dojo with the Samurai emblem. Kizan's own sword was propped against one of the walls and his armour was beside it.

"Urgh, must we train at this time of the morning?" Kizan said, bleary-eyed.

"Don't ask stupid questions, Kizan! You know there's a war going on. How on earth do you expect us to survive if we don't?" Kageki said angrily. He then sighed in frustration, cleaning his glasses on a piece of tattered cloth he took out of his pocket as he did so. "Look. Go find Shi En and see if he wants to start on the letter to Bureido later. We need to get the Karakuris with us otherwise we'll be dead in no time. We're lucky we still have Shi En with us, to be honest. The others haven't been lucky and those who still have their leaders are under constant bombardment. Glad no-one sees us as a threat. And no wonder since we have you with us!"

"Fine, Kageki. You're so serious about everything." Kizan quickly scooped his armour up, shoving it over his shoulder and went out the door.

[b][center]~ ~[/center][/b]
"Kizan, up late again," a samurai said, a bit out of breath, before blocking a thudding blow from another samurai's studded club with his sword. He was wearing dark green armour and had a helmet to match. His sword seemed to shine with a golden hue but except that and the slight size different, it wasn't that different to Kizan's own.

"Whatever, Enishi. I'm going to find Shi En." Kizan said this, walking past him and knocked into his shoulder. Enishi was always on his nerves.

"Why aren't you training, Kizan? At this rate, you'll never become Grandmaster. You know that everyone wants the position," Enishi said, smiling as he did.

Kizan stopped and growled. Then, he charged at full speed towards Enishi, raising his sword in the air. The other samurai with the club came up in front of Enishi and blocked the full extent of the impact. A loud metallic shudder came from the clash and the several birds that had been resting in the trees had suddenly taken flight at the noise.

"Shinai, stop taking his side!" Kizan said to the samurai in blue armour, who had blocked his sword.

"I'm just here to protect us all. You know the war's going on. Stop taking it so casually. Yes?"

"Fine, Shinai. Anyway, I need to get to Shi En. See you later." Kizan was about to walk off when he felt something. Something was on his shoulder. As he picked it up, he took it up to his eyes and started to inspect it. That thing was a small black feather. A feather that could only belong to a certain thing. Kizan turned quickly in panic and burst at the top of his voice, "Everybody, there's a Blackwing here!"

All the other samurais turned and readied their weapons and started looking around. After about three seconds, Kizan heard a voice whispering from the shadows, "Damn, I've been found out." Then, after that, a shuriken flew across the dojo at a female samurai dressed in red. She whipped her head around and blocked it with the two curved blades she held.

"Where'd it come from, Mizuho?" Enishi exclaimed while running towards her.

"From there!" She pointed towards the ceiling above one of the doors and there was the vague outline of a bird.

"Come out, you foul bird! We already can see you!" The Blackwing decided to comply, having no choice, and came down in a shower of dust. The bird was no taller than up to Kizan's knee and had large wings for its body. It wore a dark outfit, reminiscent of a ninja's and had a metal headband.

"Hmm, Fane. I'm going to assume you're here to spy on us. You're not even an enemy of ours, why do it?" Enishi said.

"In the times at the moment, we gotta do what we gotta do," the bird called Fane said, chuckling to himself. He started cleaning his greyed feathers with his beak and walked around Enishi a little, "and anyway, it's not as if you lot are going to win this war goin' on."

"Well, we'll see about that." Enishi calmly said, "Why don't you run off to your other feathered friends and stop annoying us. We won't harm you if you don't."

"Done. Although I doubt it'll last, samurais. Not my fault if it doesn't. Anyway, see ya' later, people." Fane cocked his head one last time to clean his wings then set off as a black dot on the sky.[/spoiler]

[EndlessOcean]

Nice. I like the idea, but the chapter seems a bit short, even for a prologue.

[.Rai]

Yeah, I know what you mean. I don't think it's the fact it's short, I think it is just because it is quite an abrupt chapter, if you get what I'm saying. Everything else will probably be a little lengthier but the first few chapters are going to be short.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

Like, like, like, like. That is one cool FanFic. So, any idea when Chapter One is coming?

[.Rai]

Soon. Anyway, Prologue been added with some more detail.

[.Rai]

[u][b]Chapter 1 Updates[/b][/u]
[b]Friday 1st July 2011:[/b] Written.

[spoiler=Chapter 1: Regulus]”Regulus, so what are we going to do?” A small pixie-like creature started floating around the lion named Regulus. She seemed to glisten in the sun, casting gentle light onto the lion round her, as the light scattered between the trees onto this tiny thing. Despite her seemingly normal mood, its eyes said otherwise and was filled with pure worry. She had obviously been crying earlier as her eyes were red and puffy, and was gently sniffling to herself. She quickly fluttered up to a tree and wiped her eyes on a leaf.

The lion itself was a whole world of difference from this pixie. It seemed out of place from its calm peaceful surroundings, wearing gilded armour and the most fierce look upon its face. Its mane was a bright orange colour, and seemed to burn brighter than the sun beaming down onto them. Most strangely though, was the white long horn on its head with a scarlet red paint dyed onto some areas. He was dressed for war.

War by now had torn apart the whole world. The reason of it is that nearly all of the leaders of each of the clans of the spirit world had mysteriously disappeared. No-one had even a single reasonable idea of what had happened but instead blamed other clans. As everyone drifted further, things became even more hostile as some declared war on others.

“Well, you know our dear ruler, Ancient Fairy Dragon, has disappeared. I’ve also recently received news that four other rulers have gone missing yesterday: Bureido, Hyperion, Shi En and Grapha. Whoever took them are powerful as Bureido and Hyperion have giant masses of citizens and soldiers while Grapha and Shi En are hard to get to. Only a few clans know of the Six Samurais’ whereabouts while Grapha is deep within the Dark World, and if he’s smart, would have stayed there until the trouble cleared. ” Regulus spoke rather solemnly about this and, despite his courageous image, looked frightened by the dangers ahead. What kind of power can take the many leaders of a whole world?

Regulus paused and started his next sentence, “I’m leaving.”

The small pixie let out a whimper and timidly asked, “Why, Regulus? It’ll be unsafe here if you leave.”

“I must find our leader or we’ll be in even greater danger.”

“Let me come, Regulus! Please, I can’t stay here. It’s too strange without you.”

No-one talked for a long time while Regulus thought of something but Regulus then said, “Fine, come with me. It’ll be safe here but if you really want to, you may help in the quest. I’m also bringing a few other friends.”

[center][b]~ ~[/b][/center]

Several unicorns were strolling up and down the small clearing Regulus had designated for the start of their quest. They seemed to be anxious, and why wouldn’t they, considering what the situation was. Striking about these unicorns were their burning blue mane and tails, seemingly made of sunlight. Their horns twisted in an orderly way, except for the few old ones whose horns had been slightly more gnarled than the others’. Regulus walked round them for inspections with his deep red paint still burning with a ferocious loyalty to its lost leader. The pixie was on his shoulder, generally looking worried as she usually was. Also with Regulus was a polar bear, armoured with a heavy metal chestplate and other fairly advanced technology on him. It was a wonder that it wasn’t pulling him down to the forest floor. In contrast to this large grey and white figure was a brass trumpet in his hand. It was decorated with similar symbols engraved into it to Regulus’ horn. He seemed to be Regulus’ bodyguard as he took a rather protective pose and immediately took attention to anyone who veered too near to Regulus. The bear gave Regulus a look and the lion, who had been taking a deep look at a female unicorn who was bidding presumably her husband goodbye. The bear coughed to get his attention which worked and Regulus gave a quick nod.

The bear raised his trumpet and blew it, releasing a sharp blare into the forest. A few birds, startled, flew upwards in the sky towards the morning sun. Every unicorn cantered into a single orderly line and it was silent for a few minutes apart for the gentle breeze rustling the leaves. It wasn’t the sort of breeze from a summery day, but the sort you would get on ominous occasions as if the wind could predict what you were thinking. Regulus once again decided to break the silence.

“For our leader!”

The united force cried it back. “For our leader!”

[center][b]~ ~[/b] [/center]

“My dear pixie, how are you doing so far?”

“I’m good, Regulus. It’s not that bad actually. I’m just a little short of breath.”

The unicorns, Regulus and the pixie were hiking up a mountain. One of the reasons why Regulus and the rest of Ancient Fairy Dragon’s citizens were safe was because of the grand range of icy peaks surrounding their forest and city. It also meant a sheer difficulty leaving unfortunately. Regulus nimbly leaped from rock to rock then waited for a bit for his troops to catch up. The pixie carried on flying by him but would sometimes take a ride on his shoulder.

Of course, the journey was only starting and they were most likely not the only ones making it. At this moment, every other clan would have sent out soldiers and squads to search for their missing leaders.

“Well, I hope you carry on this way for we have a long way to travel. Just hope for the best, friend.” As the pixie looked at Regulus, she wondered how old he was. Of course, all creatures from Ancient Fairy’s forest lived to a great age but Regulus didn’t seem to be very old. He’d been through other wars according to some of the other troops she’d been talking to and apparently had an unfortunate past. She had a sudden urge to find out what this past involved but that was not of importance at the moment, first priority is to find our leader.

A troop walked up to Regulus. The bear accompanying Regulus gave him a quick look before turning away again, assuming it was safe.

“So, Regulus, have we got any leads yet on our ruler’s location?” the unicorn troop said. His mane was slightly more purple than the others, which was not unusual in the creatures that dwelled in the Ancient Fairy Dragon’s forest. The magic radiating from the surrounding is enough to affect your genes.

“A few, but I’m not totally sure on their authenticity. And although a leader shouldn’t jump to conclusions, I have a bad feeling about where we’re going first.”

“Where are we going, Regulus?” The small pixie said.

“Hmm, I think it’s best not to scare you right now.”

It seemed to have the opposite effect as the pixie gave a small shiver, and her usual orange coloured clothing shimmered grey for a few seconds. “Well, I don’t like the sound of it anyway.” She sniffled slightly after saying this. All she knew was what she saw in the distance.

Complete darkness. And absolutely nothing else.

[center][color="#000000"][u][url=http://www.mediafire.com/?bn77vrrjaarod25][color="#EEEEEE"][b]Secret Chapter 1: Closed Forest[/b][/color][/url][/u][/color][/center][/spoiler]

[bury the year]

I'm impressed, which is rare. You've done a very good job of characterizing the Duel Spirits with a combination of dialogue and description; merging the two can be difficult. The plot is interesting, too - from what it seems like, the various monster zone leaders have gone missing and there's trouble brewing for some reason or another. There's only two major qualms I have. Firstly, it feels like the reader's getting flung into this world without much exposition, and while too much is bad, the inverse is true as well. There's only that throwaway paragraph in Chapter 1, which could be better integrated. Secondly, I can't tell yet if there's gonna be a clearcut protagonist or not, but that's only because you've shifted between two different groups in two chapters. They're just nitpicks, though, and overall you did a good job. I'm curious to see how non-monster cards will be integrated if at all. ;3

[b]EDIT:[/b] Don't know if you know about this already, but [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Monster_World_Areas"]this page[/url] on the YGO wiki may come of help.

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

Hmm...

read the name of the fic and thought it was going to be some kind of YGO porno. Then reading the prologue and I was immediately hit with the impression of 'yay, story following a young arrogant samurai in training, great '

However read the 1st chapter proper in spite of myself and it was alright.

Setting and characters mostly taken from the anime so far, but they have been described nicely and in fine detail.

Blinked when the polar bear appeared, quite literally, from thin air. A paragraph where they met up with him before the unicorns would have been better.

May give it a few more chapters before any real yay or nay.

[.Rai]

I realise what you mean by unclear protagonists, Kyubey. The prologue was generally to familiarize with the plot a little more so I'm probably going to stick with Regulus as a protagonist for now.

Thanks for the comments, Bahamut. I'll probably edit Chapter 1 a little so it fits more. Also, it's quite hard to avoid similarities to the anime, which doesn't help that I chose Regulus as a protagonist. However, it'll probably look less like that later.


Merci, you two.

[.Rai]

[u][b]Chapter 2 Updates[/b][/u]

[b]Sunday 31st July 2011: [/b]Written


[spoiler=Chapter 2: Escape from the Dark Dimension]As the group approached this darkness, their breath created steam in the air from the sheer cold that had snuck up on them. The pixie couldn’t remember when it had started becoming frosty but her mind was blank. In fact, for some reason, she could hardly remember how long ago it was before she saw the darkness. Her head was pounding, and so was some of the others. The armoured polar bear was gently rubbing his forehead but was trying to make sure none of the others saw him. A lot of the unicorns were groaning too. Regulus noticed and said, “It must be the darkness. Excessive dark energy can cause great pain. Try to withstand it, my friends.” The ‘rally talk’ didn’t seem to do anything. It was hard to escape the fact that there was a throbbing pain in your head. Wherever they were going, it must have been someone pretty strong to live in such a terrible place. Which means it was worse for the group.

Nothing interesting happened for a long time. Or what seemed like a long time anyway, since it was hard to keep time with a pounding head. Every so often, there was a small whirring, probably from the energy in the air. Along with the whirring, there was a lot of sparks in the air. They were basically our only source of light, but wasn’t really that helpful. The sparks gave off a green glow, casting everyone’s faces with a rather uncomfortable sinisterness.

“Regulus, so why did we come here again?” The pixie asked nervously, her breath condensing in the air. She took glances around her quite a lot, feeling she was being watched. To be honest, it was typical of her to think that. She was always the quiet one of her family - always scared and extremely dependent on other people. Another spark popped into the air beside her and fluttered into Regulus’ mane so quickly that, if she had gone at that speed the whole time, she would have probably been out of there in no time whatsoever. She shivered from the cold and tried to use Regulus’ fur as a blanket. Regulus didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he didn’t seem to even flinch from the cold.

Regulus replied, “I can’t exactly say. The dark energy was my first step into this direction, but a couple of days ago, I had a dream and something was telling me to come here. I don’t know what it was but I had no choice but to trust it. Besides, I have no other solid leads.”

The whirring seemed to get much louder now, probably since they were reaching the inner parts of the darkness. The once uniform line that the group had started with had now turned into a bunched-up circle in an attempt to stay warm and, more importantly, stay together. It was nearly silent, except from the trotting of hooves and clinking armour.

The polar bear suddenly stuck his head up in a quick jerk, then said, “I hear something.”

He was right. Everyone stopped and heard a squeaky noise approaching. Of course, the sparks were the only thing illuminating it. One spark illuminated its arm, and it seemed thin and armoured. After that spark disappeared, another illuminated where its head would be be. Instead of a head, they saw a bucket. It all became stranger as another spark illuminated where its legs would be and the group only saw wheels. By now, everyone had braced themselves for combat but nothing happened. As the mysterious creature approached, they could see quite clearly what it was. More sparks had illuminated the creature, and it was obvious it was a robot of some kind. Its mechanical head was below this bucket and its arms were like digger claws. There was another bucket in front of its wheels, green. It was picking up random rubbish and dirt from the floor until it was near them and looked up. It gave an inquisitive look, quickly scanning over the unicorns, the strange lion, polar bear and that pixie that was in front of it. A unicorn said to another, “He looks cute!” Many unicorns started laughing but Regulus put up a paw, conveniently lighted by several more green sparks, and the unicorns stopped laughing at once.

The robotic creature made a lot of whirring and it became apparent that the noises the group had heard had come from the creature. Another sudden noise came from it. There was a click then a red light came from its left eye. The light focused on the pixie.

“Regulus...w-what is it doing?” The pixie whispered, completely petrified. Her head was still pounding from where she was and the fear wasn’t helping. It was strange to be scared of anything that looked so harmless but you couldn’t be sure in such a dark and unsure place.

“Stay calm, friend. I believe it’s nothing harmful. Don’t worry.” Regulus was unnaturally placid like he usually was.

The red light disappeared in a flash and the robot began to say something.

“You. Are. Friends?”

The voice that came from it was completely robotic and completely monotone. The little pixie was confused. She paused then said, “if you want us to be.”

“Follow. Me. Please.”

The pixie realised how they lived here. Because they were robotic, they wouldn’t get the pounding in their heads from the energy around them. Also, in the war that was going on, their location would have given them some good tactical ground.

The sparks seemed to increase in number as the group followed the thing to wherever it was going. As the robot went, it would every so often pick up some rubble from the floor and place it on its bucket. It was rather reassuring to have another companion anyway in the darkness and the pixie was glad.

Nothing really happened for a while. With so little happening, you could notice every little thing happening. For instance, the sparks seemed to be much greater in number as they got closer to wherever they were going. They resembled the fireflies that used to live round the forest. The pixie was thinking back to her time living a normal life. It was hard to really remember the life before the war started but she knew they were good times. The trauma really had done the same thing to tons of all the citizens, everywhere. Many of the unicorns here only really knew life as a soldier, and nothing else. She just hoped it would all clear up soon, but that would take a miracle. And a miracle wasn’t coming any time soon.

The group stopped as they came towards a giant metal wall. The robot gestured to Regulus to come to the wall. The robot settled itself in a position, spending a large time getting it exactly right, before it jerked upwards slightly then pushed itself down again. The rest weren’t exactly sure what he did, but a series of clicks and the sound of gears interlocking filled the air. The rusted derelict wall seemed to be opening from a small opening in the middle.

Well, the first thing that was noticed was the blue pulsing glow of something from inside. The wall was opening painfully slowly, not that the robot seemed to care. Probably since he had only basic emotions, he didn’t really get bored at all. The wall was half-open now and you could see most of what was inside now. The sound of it opening was disorientating and harsh though and it was hard to concentrate on the sights within. Another couple of minutes, and the wall had stopped opening. The blue glow was coming from what seemed to be a throne made of scrap. It was made of random machinery and general rubbish, yet seemed extremely stable. Comparable to the place there were in, almost. In what seemed to be a crude and dangerous place was relative safety. Whoever sat upon this throne must be wise. A blue spark came from inside the throne. For some unknown reason, the sparks were blue here. The pixie found it strangely calming.

The rest of the unicorns were looking around along with Regulus and his white-furred bodyguard until one of them pointed out that the throne seemed to be descending. The whole group quickly turned to the throne, and indeed it was. By the time everyone noticed, the throne was nearly completely in the ground, the end of it signified with a loud thump. Before anyone could comment, the throne was rising once again, this time with something in it. The robot that had accompanied them rushed to just below the throne, waiting for it to rise. The figure that rose would have been surprising but the little robot that had approached the whole group generally had numbed their sense of surprise. It seemed to be another robot, but more humanoid this time. He was made completely of iron-like metal and parts of him were protected by a golden armour. It was worn however, with dust and rust consuming it. Wires connected his limbs, some dripping oil. The thing was in pain quite visibly. Its green robotic eyes flickered weakly as it sat on the throne.

“Who. Are. You?” The king asked. His voice was weak as his appearance. He faltered as he spoke several times.

Regulus came forwards and began to speak, “You know me, king. I am Regulus.”

The robot, which apparently was a king, looked confused. It paused for a little before speaking again.

“I. Remember. Now. Regulus.” The king tried to stand up. The little robot that came with the group took the king’s hand, helping him up. “I. Retreated here. After battling. In the. War. Friend. Why have. You. Come?”

“Our leader has disappeared. I remember that you fought some enemy factions. Do you perhaps know where she is?”

“My. Followers are small. And. I. Get little. News. But I have. Heard the rumour. I did hear. Zeman’s army. Talk about it. Recently. Maybe. There. Is your. Answer.”

“Thank you, friend, for confirming my suspicions. I trust you will stay safe.”

“I. Will.” The king replied. He descended once again into his hole in the ground upon his throne. He looked tired, for a robot anyway.

The pixie was thinking, “Was that it?” It was certainly a reasonable thing to think, considering how abrupt the end of their journey into this foul place was. Then she realised.

When Regulus was talking about their journey being ‘scary’, he wasn’t talking about this. This was just the first stop.[/spoiler]

[.Rai]

Bump.

[.Rai]

No readers

[.Rai]

Bump.

[.Rai]

Bump.

[Reinforce]

Hello, I am reading it, though I'm not really the type to comment too often. But you have a reader so please keep posting chapters. One question though, who is the king of that dark area? You never actually tell us his name.

[.Rai]

Hmm yeah. Well, he's supposed to be Machine King B.C. 3000.

I'll be typing up some profiles for each of the characters soon.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

Ohhhhh......so awesome........please let me know when Chapter 3 comes......

[.Rai]

Sure!

Nice to have another reader finally

[Alice Moonflowyr]

Dude, Im suprised you dont have more.

[.Rai]

I'm in the process of writing Chapter 3 at the moment. Profiles will also come soon, straight after Chapter 3.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

Sweeeeet.

[.Rai]

A tiny fraction of the next chapter. Planning on making it more of a comedy chapter here.

[quote]“Yo, Equeste. Can we go practice on those damn monkeys yet? I’m gettin’ impatient.”

“Hey! Those ‘damn monkeys’ are right over here.”

“Hey to you too! Shut up. Yeah, shut up.”

A rather large rhino armoured in white plating stood in the middle of the colosseum by a cage with 2 apes in. His voice was rather rough, but not particularly intimidating. A centaur, who was presumably Equeste, turned round and came towards the cage. The colosseum itself was rather large. It was lit by the open-air ceiling and various strange crystal formations laid as lines in the rocky foundation of the stadium.

Equeste replied to the rhino, “Hoplomus, you are so annoying at times. Your chance will come. We just have to wait for our other friends to come along so they can join in.” He then turned to the two apes in the cage. “It’s a shame we have to train against you. You two seemed like such nice pers-”

“THEN DON’T TRAIN AGAINST US PLEASE!” One of the apes, dressed fairly bare and with a sturdy build, burst out, trying to get out of the cage. And failing quite miserably. The other ape, dressed somewhat like a stereotypical wizard, put his hand against his head which was shaking side to side rather slowly.

“-sonalities. Actually, strike that. You probably don’t. Maybe, you, the funny wizard one, but you don’t speak much anyway.”

At that point, a humanoid hawk creature came running in. Equeste turned to see who it was before speaking.

“Lanista, come to join our training with the apes?”

“Well, yes. But first we have visitors,” Lanista replied.

“Who is it?”

“Regulus, Commander from the Ancient Forest. Oh, and an army of unicorns.”[/quote]

[Alice Moonflowyr]

Do these happen to be Gladiator Beasts?

[.Rai]

Yep.