Guest JoshIcy Posted February 25, 2009 Report Share Posted February 25, 2009 From those first words, and blissful glance. I wondered why and who.I pondered but I couldn't. Instead I felt. Such a thrill, such a sense of joy.No words left my lips, only emotions clouding my mind. A breath of release.No longer alone, no longer thinking. It felt so great.What was this feeling, I struggled to ask myself but could not answer.I would let go my knowledge, and stop thinking for once in many years.Desiring this feeling to continue, I strove on. Became motivated.It's like ecstasy being near you, without the side effects.It never stopped either. And I do not wish it to stop.Coming to a conclusion, as this was beyond infatuation, I came to acknowledge it is love.People say it happens differently for everyone, and this must be how mine happened. Umm... Yeah. Gonna refine it more later.But opinions as is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christian Exodia Posted February 25, 2009 Report Share Posted February 25, 2009 It's pretty good. I'm guessing it's that first kiss by someone other than your parent. I haven't had it yet, but I will... I will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoshIcy Posted February 25, 2009 Report Share Posted February 25, 2009 It's pretty good. I'm guessing it's that first kiss by someone other than your parent. I haven't had it yet' date=' but I will... I will.[/quote'] 1st from Bottom... (I think that's the one I am thinking of)...Not kiss... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christian Exodia Posted February 25, 2009 Report Share Posted February 25, 2009 Fine. It was just a guess. Nobody's Perfect Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skatekid852 Posted February 28, 2009 Report Share Posted February 28, 2009 wow thats pretty good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willieh Posted February 28, 2009 Report Share Posted February 28, 2009 It's awesome. The wording is bad-ass. Make a version that rhymes so that the people with a shorter attention span can relate better. Like myself. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careless Whisper Posted February 28, 2009 Report Share Posted February 28, 2009 It's good, but I think you played with the rhythm abit too much. It doesn't flow like your old poems did. But hey, it's just rust, you can always clean it off with more practice. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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